


Purity 2

by saucyminx



Series: Purity Verse [2]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Slavery, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-31
Updated: 2010-07-31
Packaged: 2017-10-28 07:19:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 64,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/305258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saucyminx/pseuds/saucyminx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A year has passed since Jensen came into Jared’s life and their world is no less complicated. There are marriages, babies, and business to run and they’ll be lucky to make it through it all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"I simply love the way you've decorated, such class and elegance, these pictures are so beautiful!" The woman ran a finger along the edge of the picture on the wall and Jensen glanced her way once, nodding, and then looking back over his shoulder.

He thought he might know her name - Mrs. Henry? Mrs. Williams? - and he probably _should_ know it, considering she was important enough to be here at the opening but Jensen was a little too distracted at the moment. Mainly his focus was extended toward trying to find his currently missing boyfriend. Or life partner. Or whatever it was that Sharon was calling him these days, Jensen had long since lost the part of him desiring labels and classifications. It was easier not to try and define everyone, one year as an official _human_ had taught him such.

"I've heard that you’re... Jared. Jared Padalecki, he did most of these paintings? I simply love the Padaleckis; the entire family is so modern and chic. You, uh, you’re quite... modern as well. From what I understand."

It was more than a little obvious that the woman - maybe it was Mrs. Colton - was fishing for information. Jensen was used to that by now. He and Jared drew attention without every really meaning to. Such was the norm when you lived in a society that had still yet to fully develop the ability to be open minded. Truthfully, Jensen found it all quite ironic. He'd been reading the news earlier on his e-reader and telling Jared about the developments in robotics, the _new science_ , everything brighter and better, all funded by the Purity Corporation of course. And yet, two men living together was enough to send murmurs rippling through a room.

Jensen's eyes landed on Stephanie across the room. Sharon had thrown a bit of a fit when Jared insisted Stephanie be allowed in the actual party though most of the Companions were in the back room waiting for their Possessor's commands.

He smiled politely at the woman, Mrs. Johnson he was pretty sure, before breaking away and weaving through the people. Jared was by no means short and therefore not easy to lose in a crowd but currently Jensen couldn't spot the man anywhere.

He turned quickly when Sharon made a half step toward him. Not that he didn't care for his sort of mother-in-law, she had actually warmed up a fair bit after the first few months and the realization that Jensen was going nowhere, but now she took to babying him almost as much as she did Jared. Jensen wasn't very good with the whole mother thing. It rattled some part in him that had never known of a person who could simply try and love you as their own to take care of, not in the way Jared loved him. That was very different. And well, Jensen kind of had a sneaking suspicion that Sharon was more interested in the image he and Jared created, not so much in the love they shared.

"Steph," Jensen smiled brightly at her, not touching because even if she was at this party, she still wore a bracelet around her wrist and there were those who could never look past what was so simple an act. On any other occasion he would hug her because he knew Chad was not the type of Possessor to mind such an action. "It's good to see you."

Her eyes fixed on him but there was a certain glassiness to them that Jensen couldn't place. "Hello Jensen. You look lovely."

Jensen glanced down at his tan dress slacks and smooth slate gray button down shirt. He kind of thought he looked like the men Jared occasionally sold his art to in big galleries. Which was actually fitting considering he was now the co-owner of a swank cafe complete with exotic caffeinated beverages from around the world, a whole selection of pastries he'd spent the last year mastering, and a whole collection of art in an off room gallery. So he smiled at Stephanie and dipped down slightly to look into her eyes. "Thank you. What's the matter? You seem upset?"

Stephanie glanced over at Chad a few paces away then dropped her gaze, slowly shaking her head. "It's nothing. This party is quite wonderful. I've never seen so many people. And they're all here for you and Jared."

"Well, I think some might be here for Mrs. Padalecki, but don't tell anyone I said that." He grinned conspiratorially at her before half turning and surveying the crowd once more. "You haven't happened to see my Jared around at all have you? He's gone missing and people are already asking after his art."

Stephanie's gaze turned up again and scanned the room but dropped just as quickly. Jensen felt that pinch in his heart he always got around the girl, especially when he remembered how ingrained these rules were. Don't make eye contact with people, answers questions, follow commands. Even now Jensen found it difficult not to fall into those ways. "Did you try the back room? I mean the one the other Companions aren't in."

"I didn't. But I will. If anyone asks where I've gone, say I've taken Jared off and we're going to live in the rural wilderness of Indonesia okay?" Jensen grinned, considering the only half-smile on the girl's face for a moment before heading for the back door. He glanced over at the trays along the counter, ensuring there were enough snacks still laid out before pressing his thumb to the small scanner by the door and waiting for the click.

They only kept it locked out of standard practice and Jensen was already trying to convince Chad to override the system so it wouldn't be such a pain to get all the workers entered into the security program to gain access. It was all for safety and such, but Jensen preferred to think he could trust anyone Jared and he hired.

"Jared?" He called when he stepped into the back room, the sensor lights turned on automatically at his presence. The large door to the right was where the Companions were waiting but since Jensen could hear them all talking, he was certain Jared wasn't there. They wouldn't be so open if someone else were around.

Instead he weaved around to the left, following the hallway back to a separate storage room where Jared was keeping art supplies, a private little nook so to speak. And there was Jared in all his six foot four glory.

Sometimes Jensen could spend hours watching him, still learning and memorizing all the ways he moved, laughed, spoke, smiled. Jensen had a whole catalog in his mind devoted to Jared.

"It's not fair that you get to hide and I don't." Jensen said softly so as not to startle the man, stepping into the room and smiling. "Someone might steal me away and then what would you do?"

"I can find you anywhere." The smile on Jared's face was instantaneous. Jensen's voice was like that - the best sound in the world pretty much. "I just don't like sharing you with all those people, and there's that whole ... don't much like talking to people about my art thing." Tossing his sketchbook down on a small table, Jared pulled Jensen into his arms and kicked the door shut. "Locks automatically." He winked and let his palms slide down Jensen's back.

"Jared," Jensen groaned softly, leaning into him despite the protest on the tip of his tongue. "I am not having sex with you while your entire family and _Chad_ are out there. This is just... so, not happening. It's insane." Jensen grinned, not minding so much that he fumbled over the usual speak for someone his age. It didn't matter how many movies he watched, some part of him would always be the trained mindset of someone whose life was spent learning to be perfect.

"Okay, but you'll regret it later when I'm all tired and - and you know, don't want to have sex. Who am I kidding?" Jared laughed. Tugging Jensen back a few steps he hopped up onto the counter and pulled Jensen in between his legs.

"So, how bad is it out there?" Jared _hated_ having to talk about his work. It was the one part of being an artist he knew he wasn't very good at. Jensen seemed to have a natural ability to talk to people, maybe his training, maybe the fact that he was just a fantastic guy.

"I think your mother invited half the town." Jensen sighed softly, shaking his head as his hands curled over Jared's thighs. "Though I imagine the publicity will be good. If people are being honest, then I imagine we're going to be very busy." Smiling, Jensen couldn't resist running his nose along Jared's jaw, breathing in that familiar smell that was everything that reminded him of _home_.

"Now, see? How can I take you back out there when you do that?" Jared squeezed his legs tight against Jensen's. "Let's sneak out the back door, Stephanie will help us! She loves you." It was Jared's suspicion that Stephanie had a soft spot for Jensen ever since he had stayed with them. She probably understood what Jensen had gone through more than Jared ever could.

"I have this hunch that we'll be missed, sadly. As much as I'd love to be anywhere else but here with you. Well, actually here isn't too bad. Just, here with people, not so good." Jensen grinned and slid his fingers through Jared's hair, sighing softly as his eyes scanned across Jared's features. "You know, I think I perfected the cheesecake ice cream I've been working on. We'll have to try it out tonight, see what you think of it." Jensen's grin shifted into a smirk and he leaned in once more, lips pressing against the edge of Jared's ear. "You can eat it off my chest."

"Oh. Okay." Jared's eyes closed for a few moments pondering how amazingly hot his boyfriend was. "So - if I go out there and be good for a while, Jensen flavored cheesecake later?" Blinking he slipped down off the counter, sliding straight down Jensen's body.

"Mmhmm, yes. Definitely." Jensen beamed and clenched Jared's hips for a moment. He very much liked sex with Jared and all the things he'd learned being with him over the last year, and constantly exploring more. "Chad says I'm a sexual deviant. Well, that's what Stephanie said Chad said." Jensen shrugged and took Jared's hand, pulling him toward the door. "Ready to face the crowds once more?"

Laughing, Jared stepped back slightly. "No, I'm not but I will follow you anywhere after a promise of cheesecake." Smiling, Jared ducked down to kiss his boyfriend's cheek. "Love you."

"Love you too." Jensen grinned and turned toward him, brushing their lips together. "Let's go."

They headed back through the rooms and Jensen sighed softly and pressed his thumb into the security pad, pushing the door open and leading Jared back out into the crowd. There were people constantly milling around but Jensen decided to spare his boyfriend by sticking by his side and leading him away from people who seemed interested in long and detailed conversations where they pretended to know a lot about art. Jared wasn't so much into the technical sides, he was just naturally gifted.

At some point Sharon appeared and led them toward several women around her age, all of which watched them with wide and curious eyes that made Jensen feel uncomfortable and step closer to Jared's side. It was pretty typical of the woman though, Jared said it all came down to status, being able to have something that made the Padalecki family unique. Jensen scoffed at that, disliking the idea of being a pawn on the chess board of society standings.

When they finally managed to break away to get themselves a drink, Jensen glanced over toward Stephanie and Chad. Stephanie was still almost exactly where he'd left her before, hands tucked in front of her, hanging halfway down her body and face turned down. Chad was halfway across the room, talking to someone, kind of.

"What's wrong with Chad?" Jensen asked quietly, nudging Jared's shoulder with his own.

Jared's eyes moved over the room settling on his friend. "I dunno. There's something going on with them." His eyes flicked across to Stephanie. "Usually he'd be dragging Stephanie around showing her off. Do you think I should go and talk to her? Walk her around the cafe a bit?" Jared still got a bit confused when it came to companions and their role. For the most part he let Jensen take care of that kind of etiquette and stayed out of it so he didn't make a big mess of anything else.

"No, there are too many people here. It would make her feel uncomfortable if one of us walked around with her." Jensen sighed softly and shook his head. "We should have them over soon or maybe just Stephanie. You know she'll talk with us if there aren't a bunch of people." He glanced back up at Jared and smiled. "But you're sweet to suggest it. I'm sure Chad would allow us to, your mother would probably lose it."

"Yeah," Jared's heart felt a little heavy. Chad and Stephanie were good friends. Hell, they might even be partially responsible for Jared and Jensen managing to make things work. He wanted them to be happy no matter what they had to get through.

"Well, maybe I'll go and talk to Chad." Jared watched as his friend picked up a drink, tasted it and made a foul expression. "You okay?"

"Do you think he spiked this?" Jensen looked up from his drink, over to Chad and back at Jared. "Or maybe I just need to give Amanda bit more of a lesson in how to perfect her drink making skills." With a shrug he stepped to the side and set the drink down, smiling over at Jared once more. "Go talk to Chad. I shall wander around and make sure everyone is having a good time."

Smiling, Jared couldn't resist dipping down to kiss the corner of Jensen's mouth. He was pretty sure he heard a gasp and at least one giggle. The pink flush on Jensen's cheek was well worth it.

Jared was chuckling softly to himself by the time he made it over to Chad. "Hey, what you drinking that made you look like you were eating a raw frog?"

"What?" Chad blinked up at him, lips turning down in a frown. "Dude, you spend too much time with Jensen. Both you talk like fu-" He cut off abruptly; eyes sliding to the side then back up. "Raw frog?"

"I dunno where that came from." Jared laughed. "It’s all that cooking talk I gotta listen to at home. You know? Last week I had to try this cold soup thing with green stringy things in it. I'm scarred for life." Jared leaned back against the counter and eyed his friend. "So what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing is wrong me. And that's exactly why we don't let you guys make dinner for us." Chad pointed out, shoulders hunching for a moment. "I mean, I don't let you. Stephanie practically worships the ground your boy walks on so. Whatever." Chad slumped against the counter beside Jared, chin tilted down.

"When this _nothing_ that's wrong with you - I mean - if it gets too much you know you can talk to me right?" Jared kicked at Chad's foot and smiled. "Or you can talk to Jensen - he's the one with the brains _and_ the heart."

"Can't talk to Jensen. Not about this." Chad sighed, looking up at Jared and shrugging. "Brains and a heart be damned, he's still, was, well. You know what the hell I'm talking about so it just doesn't. Look, it's nothing. It's. Nothing. Fuck man, leave me alone." Chad huffed loudly and crossed his arms over his chest, head dropping back down once more.

It was pretty difficult for Jared to imagine something that would get Chad quite as worked up as he was. Normally, his friend could spit out pretty much anything without worry what people thought about it. Obviously there was something going on. "Hey, chill man. I'm just trying to be a good friend. You know that." He slung his arm over Chad's shoulder and tugged him in so he could plant a big kiss on his cheek.

"Yeah yeah man, shouldn't you be spreading your gay elsewhere?" Chad half pushed at Jared then leaned into his side for a long moment before stepping away and wiping his cheek. "I should, get Stephanie something to eat. Don't think she'll do it on her own. Doesn't look like she's moved since we got here."

"Okay, gonna find Jensen again." Jared watched his friend walk away. Something wasn't right but the opening wasn't really the place to have the talk anyway.

Glancing around the room Jared spotted Jensen trapped by his mother. His boyfriend's eyes widened slightly when he caught Jared's eye and it made Jared chuckle. Heading over there quickly - after all no one should be caught by his mother for very long - Jared slipped up behind her and grabbed her in a tight hug. "Mom? You talking my boyfriend's ear off?"

"We were simply discussing the commitment ceremony. You know Jared; you boys really ought to do that soon. It is so... improper to be living together for so long without official commitments to each other." Sharon sighed loudly and patted Jared's stomach. "You should start going to the gym more; I think Jensen spoils you with all his cooking."

"Oh, we work out plenty Sharon, no need to be concerned." Jensen smiled sweetly at her, half stepping back. "I should really go check the refreshments. Jared, would you care to help me?"

"Sure. Be back soon Mom." Jared fell into step behind his boyfriend. "What's wrong with my stomach?" He poked at his belly and tugged his shirt down further.

"Nothing at all, I'm quite fond of it." Jensen swatted Jared's hand away and grinned. "She just does it to freak you out. You know, she can't pester Jeff about anything anymore and Meg is too smart to listen." Jensen laughed and bumped his hip against Jared's. "You should dye your hair some exotic color. She'd probably drop down from shock alone."

"I'm not dying my hair, Jensen." Jared rolled his eyes and reached out to grab an appetizer as they passed a tray. "What is this?" He mumbled around a mouthful of food.

"I couldn't see it before you stuffed it in your mouth but I'm assuming it's a cheese puff pastry. Or one of those shrimp ball things I was never quite pleased with. Can we go home now?" Jensen sighed, breaking from Jared's side to walk around the counter and dip down to grab an extra tray of food.

"Tastes fishy and no you gotta stay here. This is going to be fun remember? Isn't that what you said? We can work together and meet people." Jared was teasing. He knew that this was important for both of them. A successful business would mean independence and respect - Jensen was still trying to fit into the world around him and this was a good start.

Twisting the ring on his finger, Jensen slowly nodded and sighed. "It's just been a crazy few months huh? I feel like we haven't been doing anything besides decorating and cleaning and cooking and planning. And I know that your mom is going to randomly appear with her whole crazy book of ideas for the commitment ceremony. I wish we could take a vacation." Jensen sighed wistfully and used a napkin to rearrange the food on the tray.

"How about we plan one for as soon as the business is okay? What about your idea to hire companions? I know someone like Stephanie would love to work here and Chad wouldn't mind I'm pretty sure. You and I could travel. Go somewhere just the two of us." The idea of having Jensen to himself was very appealing. But then, that had never changed.

"I like that. Maybe in a few years. Who knows, maybe the business will bloom. I want to pay your dad back first." Jensen nodded and lifted the tray. "Okay, I'm going back out to the masses. You should walk around and stun the room with your beauty." He grinned over at his boyfriend, dipping his hand behind the counter to squeeze Jared's ass out of view of the group.

Jared jumped and hit his knee on the counter. "Jensen," he warned, "you'll suffer later."

-=-=-=-

Groaning low in his throat, Jensen pulled his shirt out of his pants and kicked his shoes across the hallway. He considered just leaving them there but it made his skin itch so he crossed the wooden floor and dipped down to pick up the dress shoes, shaking his head. "Never thought this night would end. Was that party exceptionally long? It seemed longer than the one your mother had over the holidays."

"It was long because you made me talk to every single person there. Twice. Possibly three times. And, I had to talk about my art which I hate. So you were suffering for me." Jared nodded decisively and kicked his way out of his boots. The boots had been a compromise. He had dressed up under protest and managed to persuade Jensen that his boots would make him less bitchy simply because they were more comfortable.

Shaking his head once more, Jensen crossed the hall and tucked Jared's boots and his shoes into the hall closet. Jensen had a thing about keeping their home tidy. But mainly only because of old habits dying hard or something. "Right, blame it all on me. Your mother is the one who insisted on inviting everyone in her address book. When we have our ceremony, I say we get the final say of the guest list right? The last thing I want is one like your brother's, I swear there was almost five hundred people there."

"Oh, that wasn't so bad." Jared shrugged. "But ours won't be that big. There are bound to be people who won't go because we're both men. It's still not that accepted but really? I don't care. As long as you say you'll have me at all the right moments I'm good." Grinning, Jared tucked his hair behind his ear and hung up his jacket.

"It should just be us. At a beach or something." Jensen shrugged and hung up his own jacket, heading down the hall for their room. "But since that likely won't be happening, a minimum number would be nice. Just in case you get overly emotional and start crying or something." Jensen laughed, turning mid step to go into the kitchen instead.

"Kitchen? What are you doing? You said no more working once we got home." Jared realized that he sounded remarkably like he was whining which was kind of pathetic.

Laughing as he pulled the freezer open, Jensen shook his head and grabbed a small container of ice cream. "I did. But I also said something about cheesecake ice cream. And you promised you'd try it out for me and ensure I got the mixture right this time."

A few months ago Jensen had tried his version of a piña colada ice cream, it hadn't gone over so well and Jared's face was kind of priceless. Thankfully Jensen had already tasted this batch and knew it was good.

Stepping back into the hallway, Jensen leaned against the wall and smiled. Jared's hair was a lot messier now, not slicked back any longer and Jensen took his time dragging his gaze down Jared's body, smiling fondly at his bare feet. "We're not doing anything tomorrow."

Jared was pretty torn. He could see the glint in Jensen's eyes, knew where the ice cream might be headed but the last time Jensen had tried it the flavor had been pretty bad. Humming quietly, he weighed his options. "Have you tasted this one?"

"Yup." Jensen laughed and pulled the lid off the container, dipping the spoon he grabbed in and sucking off the contents. He was actually pretty proud of himself for this batch. It was _really_ good. "Mm."

He grinned at Jared and pushed off the wall, dipping the spoon in once more. "I might add strawberry, so you can eat more. I think right now it might be a bit too sweet." Jensen held the spoon up to Jared's lips, heart skipping a beat in his chest.

Lips twitching into a slight smile, Jared sent his tongue snaking out to lap at the ice cream for a few moments. "Mmm, not bad," he murmured. His hand slid over the gentle curve of Jensen's hip, thumb slipping under the edge of his shirt. "Probably need to taste more to make an accurate judgment though."

"Yeah, probably a good idea." Jensen whispered, teeth sliding down his lip. For the most part Jensen found it easy to be with Jared, there was no one like the man he loved to make him feel whole. But occasionally Jensen had moments where he remembered exactly who he was, that until a year ago he had no history, no story, no last name. The smile on Jensen's lips flickered for a moment and he looked down. "Bed?"

"Hey," Jared said quietly, "what was that?" There was very little that Jared missed in terms of Jensen's expressions. He'd studied the face in front of him like no other. Jared could draw Jensen from memory, the strong line of his jaw, the way his eyes crinkled around the edges when he was happy. This look was different.

Smiling wryly, Jensen shrugged and half stepped into Jared, leaning into him and keeping the ice cream out between them. "You know me. Always thinking. My brain is too active." He laughed humorlessly and laid his head on Jared's shoulder. "I was just... considering all the work we've done over the past year. All this stuff to try and make it seem like I'm just like everyone else. You know tonight I heard your mom talking to some lady about how well I've adjusted considering the shame I must be feeling about the whole Purity thing. And," Jensen looked back up at Jared and sighed. "I don't want to start our night together like this. Sorry. Guess it just all caught up or something."

"You have nothing to be ashamed of. You really should let me tell her the entire story." They'd had this conversation before but Jensen was insistent they keep the details to themselves. " _But._ You're right, I don't want to start this now. The ice cream will melt." He slid his hand up through Jensen's hair and kissed the slight curls.

Eyes fluttering closed for a moment, Jensen sighed softly and nodded, hooking his finger into Jared's belt loop and tugging. "Let's go lay down. You can take my mind off it." He grinned up at his boyfriend and shook the thoughts away. He had to be grateful for the times he did have, for _this_. Because Jared was his everything and Jensen would do whatever it took to make them work. Forever and always. He was sure of it.

They stumbled their way down the hall sharing kisses, laughing softly in a practiced intimacy. Jensen set the ice container down on the bed and pulled Jared's shirt out from his pants, working his fingers along the button. "Mm, you know how much I want you?" He murmured against Jared's lips, shoving the fabric off his boyfriend's shoulders.

"Starting to get the idea," Jared mumbled. He could feel the heat of the moment skittering along his flesh, his chest, neck, cheeks. Jensen said sometimes he kind of glowed when he was turned on. There was no way to avoid it. Jensen was just _hot_ ; sensual, graceful, sometimes his movements were almost liquid they were so fluid. Already panting slightly he leaned in to Jensen's body, eyes heavy-lidded.

"Do you want me?" Jensen breathed and dropped his hand between them, cupping Jared through his pants and massaging slowly. "Looks like it. Or feels like it for that matter." Jensen parted his lips and sucked along Jared's neck, working his fingers more firm and sure against the growing bulge in Jared's pants.

He could never get enough of touching Jared, never enough tasting him. Jensen occasionally entertained the notion that Jared was actually a drug, and he was just lucky to indulge in it as much as he liked.

"I could probably get you off just like this huh?" Jensen murmured against Jared's skin, hand running slow and steady along Jared's pants. He knew how much Jared enjoyed the little bit of control Jensen took in the moment, and knowing his boyfriend enjoyed it made Jensen love it.

"Uh, yeeah," Jared sighed. And Jensen could. There were times when Jared was pretty sure Jensen could get him off just by looking at him, licking his lips _that_ way, or saying something that reminded Jared of a night they'd been in the bedroom, sweating and moaning. " _Jesus_ , yes..."

Already hard, Jared took a step closer. "I was watching you tonight," he whispered, lips moving on Jensen's neck. "Watching you talk to everyone, your ass, the way your hips sway when you walk." Gooseflesh pebbled his arms as Jensen breathed out slowly.

"I know. I can usually feel you watching me." Jensen grinned for just a moment then slid his free hand behind Jared's body and shoved under his pants, tracing along the curves of his ass. "The ice cream is probably just melted enough now," he pointed out and stepped back, reaching up to undo the buttons on his shirt and smile fondly at his boyfriend, sliding the shirt off, his dress slacks quickly following suit. "You have to give it a proper tasting after all. So this way any time anyone orders cheesecake ice cream I can see the blush on your cheeks."

"Oh that's. That's cruel. You're cruel." But the expression on Jared's face said otherwise. "I ... yeah. Yes. Yeah." Pressing his hand flat against Jensen's chest he pushed him until he fell back onto the bed just barely missing the ice cream. Jared stood back and slid his pants off, watching Jensen crawl back along the bed.

Snatching the container up off the bed Jared crawled forward so he could straddle Jensen's thighs. The container was cold, frosty under his fingertips and Jared could feel his eyes widening as he licked his lips. "I'm not sure what I'm looking forward to licking more," he teased.

"Knowing you? Probably the ice cream." Jensen laughed at Jared's expression and settled back on the bed, tucking his head under his arms and staring up at Jared. "We should really do this more often. I work so hard, you should pay me back by doing most of the work in bed." Jensen grinned and wondered how long it would take before Jared insisted Jensen spent far too long learning sarcasm from Chad. It kind of came naturally.

"I do most of the work in bed now." Jared blew his hair off his forehead suddenly feeling a little overheated. Could be the fact that Jensen was just lying there, spread out, waiting. Yeah, could be that.

Jamming the spoon in the softening ice cream Jared scooped some up and held it over Jensen's stomach. "You're gonna get very sticky," he said. _God_ , sticky and sweet and tasty and amazing. The mallow colored ice cream dripped slowly onto Jensen's skin, splashing beside his belly button and Jared licked his lips.

The contrast of cool on his overheated skin had Jensen sucking in a breath and he arched up slightly, already eager to feel Jared's tongue on him. "Just gonna have to shower after I suppose," he murmured and reached out to stroke a hand through Jared's hair, swallowing thickly. "Jensen flavored cheesecake ice cream, sounds... interesting." He grinned as he shifted his arms under his head, propping himself up just a little more to be able to watch Jared.

Jared stared for a while, shook his head to try and clear his mind and leaned down slowly. Staring for a few moments, watching the way the melted ice cream trailed down along Jensen's body - Jared was mesmerized. Drawing in a deep breath he lapped at the ice cream, small kitten-licks, just enough for Jensen to feel it. The flavor was sweet, rich and the skin underneath was firm and _Jensen_. "MMmm, I like your flavor," Jared murmured.

Sucking in a sharp breath, Jensen tried not to squirm too much from the touch. Jared's tongue was just an added layer to the sensations rocking through him, warm but cooling with each lap of ice cream. He supposed it made sense to have what he understood was a food kink. After all, recently his life revolved around food and Jared so those two things combined, very good. And sometimes Jensen would get turned on when Jared moaned in response to something Jensen had cooked, it made his cock twitch just thinking about it. Moaning softly, Jensen dug his teeth into lip and watched Jared.

Dragging his tongue along Jensen's belly Jared teased the tip of it _just_ inside the man's belly button. Grinning, he sat back slightly and scooped out another spoonful of ice cream. This time Jared trailed the drips along the middle of Jensen's chest - a few drops on his nipple. He let out a small happy sigh as the nub of flesh hardened. "Mmm I think you like this too."

"I think that's obvious," Jensen murmured. He pushed his hips up slightly just in case it wasn't. He was almost unbearably hard but it was all sorts of amazing, so he couldn't really protest. At all. "The cold, it feels good. Not as good as your tongue but, well." Jensen grinned and shivered slightly when Jared wet his lips.

"Have to fix that then," Jared whispered.

Setting the ice cream on the night stand Jared stared down at Jensen for a moment then dropped forward onto his hands. His tongue flicked across Jensen's nipple, grazing over the hard nub of flesh. Humming at the burst of sweetness he leaned down further and swirled his tongue over the coppery disk. Jensen's cock was hard, lust-hot and pressed against Jared's belly. "God," he whispered. Sucking hard on the man's nipple, Jared moaned.

Arousal churned thick and heavy in Jensen's gut and he shifted his hips up once more, seeking friction along Jared's skin. Slipping his arms out from the position under his head, Jensen tangled a hand into Jared's hair and moaned in echo to his boyfriend's, eyes fluttering closed.

"That feels... so good." Jensen gasped softly and resisted the urge to pull Jared up by his hair to bring their lips together, only because he wanted Jared to keep doing that thing with his tongue flicking across his nipple.

Jared could suck, kiss and lick his way all over his lover's body for days and never tire of it. Jensen was just _that_ inviting. Catching the nipple in his teeth Jared tugged hard and moaned when Jensen's body arched up off the bed again. "God,” he gasped as he let go. Sliding down Jensen's body once more Jared lapped at the dribbles of ice cream, sucking on a patch of skin then moving again, nipping then sliding.

"Your mouth." Jensen groaned and shifted along the mattress, stroking through Jared's hair and down along his neck. " _Jared_." Little sparks of pleasure shot up through Jensen's body, eyes fluttering slowly open and closed. This had seemed like a good idea before but now he was seriously wondering if he wouldn't come from the combination of feelings alone. Cool steadily giving way under Jared's tongue until it was just the man tasting _him_. Jensen moaned louder and arched his body up once more.

Jared's hand patted down on the mattress until it bumped into the ice cream container. He picked it up and lifted his head long enough to watch as he scooped up some more of it. Glancing up at Jensen's flushed face he licked his lips again. "Sticky," he mumbled.

Holding the spoon carefully, not spilling a drop - Jared slid further down along Jensen's thighs. He held the spoon over his lover's cock and let the ice cream drizzle over the rigid flesh. Jensen's cock twitched as the cool liquid splashed onto his heated flesh and Jared moaned - because seriously - nothing hotter. Dropping the spoon back in the container he smiled up at Jensen. "I'd better get that for ya."

Jared's heart started to race even before his lips touched his lover's cock. He _knew_ the heat of it, the taste of Jensen's flesh but this time - sweet and cool burst into his mouth when his lips parted to suck the head inside.

"Oh god," Jensen gasped and tilted his hips slightly up into the warmth of Jared's mouth. He could feel the cool drip of liquid down his cock, the contrasting warmth of his lover's mouth and Jensen's eyes clenched shut. Hands falling to the side, Jensen tightened his grip in the sheets and inhaled sharply. Over stimulating and oh-so-good. "Please, Jared, god," Jensen panted through slick parted lips, not even sure what he was begging for.

Lingering at the head of Jensen's cock for a few more moments, Jared let his tongue swirl around the head. Dipping the tip of his tongue into the slit, Jared's fingers dug into Jensen's hips as his lover's body jolted - cock pushing a little further into Jared's mouth. He knew what Jensen wanted, _knew_ it like he knew things about his lover.

Sinking the tight ring of his lips further down, Jared sucked. The flavor of the ice cream still teased his taste buds and he moaned softly, tongue pressing against the underside of Jensen's cock. He could taste Jensen, the pre-come that dribbled from his cock. Shifting to the side a little Jared was able to sink further down, take more of his lover's cock - he loved this feeling, the taste, the sound of Jensen's sighs and moans, the fullness. Swallowing, Jared sank down until his nose was buried in the rough curls at the base of Jensen's cock. So deep.

No amount of deep inhales seemed to calm the race of Jensen's heart. It was all heat pulsing around his cock, completely surrounding him and Jensen groaned, working his hips just barely up into Jared's mouth.

"Jared," he moaned the name, a praise on his lips and tried not to thrust up into the mouth. Jensen's skin felt like it was humming, his heart thundering hard in his chest and Jensen dug his heels into the bed.

Because he could feel Jensen trying to hold still, Jared moved for him. Bobbing his head slowly, long passes of his lips up and down his lover's cock. Sucking, then licking, swirling his tongue and teasing the slit - Jared did all the things he knew drove his lover crazy. He wanted this - wanted to give Jensen some pleasure - feel his lover fall apart a little bit. Sometimes, Jared felt like this was the place that Jensen let everything go - this place that was just the two of them.

His fingers brushed over Jensen's balls, cupping them gently and squeezing as he sucked harder. He rolled his own hips against his lover's firm thigh - wanting to feel the friction - needing it like he needed oxygen.

"Need," Jensen gasped and thrust up into the heat of Jared's mouth, head craning up to watch Jared's head move on his cock. That was probably the hottest thing he'd ever seen.

"God, Jared, Jared," he groaned, orgasm rolling too close to the edge. He didn't want to come yet, didn't want this to be over. "Too close." Jensen gasped and curled his fingers up into Jared's hair, squeezing.

Jared growled softly, knowing the vibration would send his lover pitching closer to the edge. He held on to Jensen's hips, the tight pull on his hair just making his own cock ache more - _want_ more. Eyes watering, he sucked harder pulling almost all the way off until Jensen was convinced he wouldn’t stop then slid the tight ring of his lips right back down again. The head of Jensen's cock teased at the back of his throat and Jared swallowed around it, his tongue pulsing against the fiery skin.

A deep groan shook through Jensen's chest, body jerking up at the sudden spark of his orgasm flaring through him. Just like that Jared pulled everything from him and Jensen pulled probably too hard on Jared's hair, release making his blood rush through his veins at double speed. His eyes clenched tight as Jared's mouth worked along him, pulling the last of his orgasm from his body in overwhelming waves.

Jared's lips were tingling, his tongue swirling through his lover's release as his own hips thrust forward pressing his aching shaft hard against Jensen's leg. When he finally sat back he sucked in a deep breath of air, dizzy and gasping for air. "So good Jensen," he breathed.

"Mm," Jensen hummed softly and slowly nodded, reaching out for Jared. "C'mere." It was about all he could manage, body loose and limp, still vibrating from the almost mind numbing release.

Crawling up his lover's body Jared settled against his side, lips almost frantically connecting with Jensen's. Kissing Jensen was perfect, smooth heat and long touches. _God_. Jared draped an arm and leg over Jensen's body, almost possessively, and deepened the kiss as his tongue slid past his lover's lips.

Jensen moaned at the taste of himself and ice cream on Jared's tongue, sucking hard as his hand fumbled between them, curling his fingers around Jared's cock and stroking slowly. "What do you want Jared?" Jensen murmured; thumb sliding across the head of Jared's cock, smearing pre-come.

So many things, but this - kissing Jensen, his hand on him - _this_ was what he wanted. "Just. Yes, like this - need to kiss you." Sometimes, kissing was still so amazing - for so long Jared wasn't able to press his lips to Jensen's. When it was forbidden Jared realized how intimate it was; what a connection. "Just like this," he gasped. His hips jolted forward sending his cock thrusting into Jensen's hand.

If it had been possible, Jensen probably would have gotten hard all over again. The level of how much he wanted Jared sometimes scared him.

"God," Jensen murmured and tightened his grip, stroking up slowly and back down. He ran his lips over Jared's once more, tilting into the kiss, picking up speed with his hand but keeping the kiss languid and deep. Jensen's tongue slid forward into Jared's mouth, sweeping across all the lingering tastes there, thumb rubbing firm against the slit, hand sliding lower to rub along his balls for a moment and back up.

Jared's orgasm was so close. Just the taste of Jensen's come got him so ridiculously turned on it was a miracle he hadn't come already. Heart pounding he let his hips snap forward, again and again as he melted against his lover's side - melted into his kisses. Moaning loudly Jared felt his stomach muscles clench tightly and he came. The gentle rasping of Jensen's palm against his cock sent him spiraling out of control. Cock pulsing he moaned and whimpered into the kiss, hips twitching as his orgasm twirled round inside him.

They moved gradually from Jared's release, kiss slowing until their lips were barely moving together, Jensen releasing the man from his grip and pulling back. He shared breath with his boyfriend and sighed softly into the kiss, falling back just a few inches. "So perfect," he whispered, nose running against Jared's. Jensen lifted his hand and slowly cleaned the cooling come there, smiling at the sleepy daze on Jared's face. "Figured I'm sticky already and all."

"MMhmm, sticky." Jared's mind was almost incapable of coherent thought. Still panting slightly he rolled onto his back - body starfished across the bed and Jensen's legs. "Good fucking ice cream."

"I think _I_ might even blush when someone buys that." Jensen grinned and shifted more into Jared's heat. "Or maybe I'll just keep it as our own private flavor. Cheesecake ice cream a la Jensen." Chuckling softly, Jensen half turned to Jared, pressing a kiss to his closest patch of skin.

"Private flavor. My vote." Jared might actually be able to use complete sentences again one day. He nuzzled into his lover's neck and smiled.


	2. Chapter 2

In the week since the opening of their cafe - which after many months of debate Jared and Jensen had settled on calling Sweetgrass Cafe - Jensen was finally enjoying a day off. Unfortunately Jensen being home meant Jared was there running things but they couldn't quite leave the employees there on their own just yet. And Jared insisted Jensen working seven straight fourteen hour days was really not healthy at all. It was really only out of exhaustion that Jensen gave in and promised his boyfriend he wouldn't step foot in the cafe until the following day at least.

Jensen missed Jared, like he always did when they were apart. Still, it was beyond relaxing to sleep in until mid-morning and cook just himself breakfast, forcing himself not to stress and over think how things might be going for Jared. Despite the man being only nineteen he'd grown up in a business orientated world and they'd both spent the past year getting lengthy lessons from Gerald about running your own company. So Jensen didn't feel too bad as he snagged a book from the spare room - Harry Potter which he kept hidden on the top shelf because even if almost fifty years had passed since its publication and it was considered a classic, Jensen thought Jared might tease him about the juvenile indulgence.

He was only a few chapters in when the com system for the front door sounded throughout the apartment. Sighing softly, Jensen tucked his book mark into place and left it resting on the couch to head to the security screen and check who it was. Finding out Stephanie was there surprised him and Jensen let her in, moving to the front door to pull it open and peek his head out into the hall.

From the moment he saw her, Jensen knew something was wrong. He remembered the night of the party, how she'd seemed more sullen and quiet than usual and he'd simply shrugged it off to being stuck in a room of Possessor's who looked down upon her being included in society activities. Jensen instantly felt guilty that he hadn't made time to call either her or Chad - and he was pretty sure Jared had forgotten as well. His couple of days off over the past week had been spent divided between working on art which was a necessity and visiting with his sister, which was a luxury.

"Steph, it's nice to see you." Jensen said softly, using the familiarity of a nickname once they were behind closed doors. It was more than a little unusual to see Stephanie without Chad in tow. Though it wasn't against any rules for a Companion to go out without their Possessor, coming to another man's home would be highly frowned upon. "Would you like some coffee? Or tea? I think I have a few strawberry crisps around if Jared hasn't eaten them all."

Stephanie smiled for just a moment at him then looked down, fingers ghosting once across her stomach, then down to her wrist. Jensen had never noticed it before but now, on the other side of the spectrum, he saw the gesture quite often. For the first few months after being released as a Companion, Jensen had still sought out the familiar silver band around his wrist. Now it was the ring and it provided that still solid comfort.

"Tea would be lovely, thank you Jensen." She followed Jensen into the kitchen once her shoes were off, eyes turned down on the ground though Jensen couldn't place why considering the girl was usually accustomed to acting as normal as she could around him. "Is Jared here?"

Smiling at the name alone, Jensen shook his head as he filled an old fashion kettle they'd found a few months before at an antiques store. Pressing the button on the stove top to heat the surface, Jensen fixed the kettle into place before looking back at Stephanie. "No, Jared's working in the cafe today. He insisted I was keeping insane hours and apparently needed to rest. I must be losing my appeal or something."

Stephanie shook her head but didn't meet his eyes or return his soft laugh. "I'm sure that's not the case. Jared would likely find you appealing even if you smothered yourself with glue and rolled around in feathers."

Laughing louder at the idea, Jensen leaned against the counter and nodded. "You're probably right. But then, I am irresistible, so that's that." Jensen watched her lips slowly curve up then slide back into place and if he hadn't been aware that something was wrong before, he would be now.

Usually, Stephanie was bright and cheerful. She paralleled Chad in the most remarkable ways, more and more as she opened up around Jensen, trusting him because of what he once was. Now though, she looked what Jensen could only call crushed. "Is... everything okay with Chad?"

It was always a delicate thing, asking Companion's about their Possessor's. Jensen was all too familiar with the look Stephanie got in her eyes when she looked at Chad, he and Jared had discussed it on more than one occasion. The girl loved Chad, with all her heart, and the connection they shared was much stronger than most where the Pure were concerned. In fact, Jensen had thought it was almost exclusive to Jared and himself but Jared insisted Chad loved Stephanie as well, though he wasn't always good at showing it.

"Steph, he hasn't, met someone has he?" Jensen asked quietly, sliding a little closer along the counter top.

Stephanie looked up sharply and shook her head. "No. No I don't... well. He occasionally goes on dates but he insists it's at his mother's request. You remember how that could be."

Jensen nodded, remembering all too well. For the first few months of his and Jared's real relationship, Sharon had still tried to get her son to date still single girls in their class range. That is, until she realized what sort of attention could be drawn from the knowledge of her having a homosexual son. Curious people flocked to her now and pretended they weren't interested in details they clearly wanted to know.

"Alright, so he hasn't met someone. Then, why do you look so sad?" Jensen finally reached out and squeezed the girl's arm softly, wanting to comfort her. But Stephanie always remained in the Companion mindset no matter how comfortable she was with Jensen so she didn't step into the touch. And Jensen let go shortly after, still not always accustomed to touching others outside Jared anyway.

The kettle let out a faint whistling sound and Jensen turned to lift it by his handle, setting it on an unused burner and turning the stove top off. Stephanie remained quiet as he fixed up two cups of tea then carried them both into the living room. By this point Jensen had reached the conclusion that Stephanie had clearly come for a reason. She needed to speak to him about something important, otherwise she would have called and set up a time that the four of them could all get together. So he stirred his tea slowly and waited.

"Jensen." Stephanie whispered his name after several long moments and he watched her shift on the couch, arms folded in her lap. "I'm pregnant."

Whatever Jensen might have thought of - Chad meeting someone, a fight they had, Stephanie needing to discuss her possibly unrequited feelings - this was so far beyond that. In fact, he hadn't even really considered it a possibility. On rare occasions, a woman's infertility or an older bachelor's desire for an heir, female Companion's would carry a child on their Possessor's behalf. But Chad was neither married with an infertile wife, or by any means old. No, this would simply be... a mistake. In this day and age, it was rare on all accounts. When the diseases had ravished so many years ago, and people retreated to safety within wedlock's and societies, an almost unwritten act of population control came into effect.

Jensen had read once in his History lessons that there was a time when children as young as fourteen or fifteen were getting pregnant. That was not the way things worked any longer. There were rarely even single parents outside the death of a spouse. Stephanie being pregnant with Chad's child, it was so unusual Jensen instantly saw all the reasons why she'd come to him. Outside her trust and bond with him, Jensen was an expert on unusual circumstances in the act of a Companion and Possessor.

"How long have you known?" He asked quietly, not quite sure it was the right thing to say but not knowing where to begin. Jensen knew very little about children outside how they were conceived and how to prevent that from happening. All of that he had learned back in his Clean Home and truthfully he'd tuned most of it out, interested in men even then, before he could know.

"A couple of weeks. A little less. We found out a few days before the opening last week when my monthly cycle-" Stephanie looked up at him and flushed brightly, turning her gaze to the side. "Chad is not pleased."

Jensen's heart clenched in his chest and he slid closer to Stephanie, frowning slightly. "He was upset with you?"

"I should have been wiser. I, it must have been might fault protection was not used. Before I took medication to prevent pregnancy but it was making me sick, so Chad opted for a different method. But, well, you understand. This was never something I planned, never my intention."

She looked so sad; Jensen couldn't help reaching out to take her hand. "You're both in shock. You need time to absorb this. It's so very, big, Stephanie. A child... I can't even imagine." Only now he was, picturing a child to call his own, and Jared's. Jared would look wonderful with a baby in his arms he thought, but Jensen had never encountered a baby in real life. He'd seen them, in movies and on TV, passing on the street, behind large glass windows in the Clean Home whenever he made the trip from his language class room back to the dining hall. "Steph, do you want the baby?"

"It doesn't matter what I want Jensen, you know this. I seek to please my Master and, I have failed him. He, since we found out, he won't even touch me." Stephanie choked on the words and kept her eyes down on her lap. Jensen wanted to pull her into his arms, hold her close, but she wasn't at that place yet. She was still struggling to keep control of her emotions. "It's Chad's decision, in the end. If he doesn't want the baby then... they'll be sent to Purity, they'll become part of the system."

Jensen's stomach churned unpleasantly at that thought. It wasn't as if he harbored a deep rooted resentment to the corporation that was basically his parents. They had raised him, trained him, and created him really. And surely every day new children were being born to nameless mothers, raised in colorless rooms, immunized and reared and made to be the perfect Life Companion. But those children, they were designed for this, there was no love or connection between those who created them - hell, Jensen was fairly certain there wasn't even sex - and that was not how it was with Chad and Stephanie's baby.

"We'll figure something out." Jensen said quietly and finally gave in to the need to comfort the broken girl, reaching out to pull her close and soothe a hand through her hair when sobs caught in her chest. "It's just going to take some time Stephanie; I promise we'll work something out. Jared can talk to Chad, he's probably completely shocked. You know that you can talk to me about anything, whenever. Okay?"

"I know," Stephanie whispered and settled into his side.

Obviously the confession had drained Stephanie, or maybe she'd just not been sleeping that well for the past week and a half. Whatever it was, within minutes the weight against his side felt heavier and Stephanie sighed softly. When Jensen looked down, she was asleep.

Smiling softly, Jensen settled back and gently stroked a hand through her hair. He understood her need to be held at that moment in time, the need to be comforted. It wasn't something often received in their position. He could still remember how long it had taken to adjust to Jared's touches, that he could request that, or just touch himself without the need to ask. He still struggled with it sometimes now and he hadn't been a Companion for a year. Stephanie would never ask for comfort, just as she wasn't asking for help. She likely wouldn't have even told him the problem if Jensen hadn't prompted more than once.

While they rested back on the couch, Jensen had some real time to wrap his head around the complexity of the situation. He couldn't imagine what Stephanie was feeling. Pregnancy was supposed to be a joyful thing he was sure, people on the streets often looked happy to have their babies. Jared's mom was constantly bugging Jeff about him and his wife having children. Jensen supposed it was an important part of their world but clearly that had never been something he had to worry about, and he certainly couldn't be the one to talk to Chad about it. Sometimes Chad kind of freaked him out, good guy or not, he had a way about him that was just... a little much.

Jensen fell asleep, sometime between considering if Chad would be a good father and how adorable their child would be. Seriously between Stephanie's long golden hair and Chad's blue eyes, Jensen couldn't picture a cuter child. He dreamed about babies and Chad - a weird combination really - and woke with Stephanie still plastered to his chest. And Jared standing in the living room doorway with raised eyebrows.

"Hey." He mumbled and rubbed his eyes, glancing down at Stephanie's hand curled into his shirt. "How's it going?"

Before Jared could answer, Stephanie's eyes were opening and she blinked up at Jensen before following his gaze to Jared. "Oh. Oh, this looks really bad. It's, nothing. Nothing though Jared, really, nothing. It's." Stephanie clambered to her feet, smoothing a hand down her skirt. "What time is it? Chad's probably worried, well, maybe not. I should go. I really should be on my way."

Jensen stood and reached out for her, hand sliding down her arm. "Stephanie, hey, it's okay. Take a deep breath. Do you want Jared to give you a ride home? I'm sure he wouldn't mind, right?" Jensen looked up toward Jared, eyes wide and pleading. Jared looked confused, really confused, and Jensen didn't blame him there.

"Of course not. Want to go for a ride Jensen?" Whatever Jared had walked in on it looked completely draining for Stephanie and his boyfriend was giving him that look that meant he would explain later. "I have to pick up some fruit anyway." _Fruit_ , well, they could always use fruit.

"I," Stephanie looked between them uncertainly and sighed, hands folding together on top of her stomach. "I would appreciate it. Thank you. Maybe, Chad's worried. Maybe."

"I'm sure he is." Jensen said softly and stroked Stephanie's arm once more and smiled. "Should we go now?"

"I just, need to use the bathroom, I'll be right back." Stephanie smiled briefly at Jared before moving a little too quickly down the hall toward the bathroom.

Jensen winced in sympathy stepping toward Jared and squeezing his arm, leaning up to press a kiss to Jared's lips. "Hey."

"Everything okay? Do I need to kick Chad's ass or worry about Stephanie falling in love with you?" Jared tried to lighten the heavy expression on his lover's face and when it didn't work slid his arms round Jensen's waist.

Stephanie and Jensen shared a bond as companions that Jared could never understand, was never party too - and even thought it hurt his heart slightly _still_ to think of the differences between them he respected that part of Jensen's life. "You okay?"

"It's complicated." Jensen said softly and laid his head on Jared's shoulder, sighing softly. He just wanted to talk about it all right now but Stephanie was in the other room and he didn't want her to hear all his opinions on the matter. Because no matter what happened with her and Chad, she would always be defensive of her Possessor. "I'll explain it all once we drop her off." Jensen smiled softly up at his boyfriend, cupping his jaw as he stepped back. "Sorry to make you run out like this right away, I could take her home if you want?"

Thinking back over all the things Jensen had told him Jared's brow furrowed. "Jensen, what's going to make her more comfortable? If it’s both of us or just you? Whatever you think she needs..." It was a delicate line Stephanie walked. Chad was great to her, well, Jared thought he was but still she was a companion and like Jensen she believed in certain protocols.

"You should probably come with. It wouldn't seem right for her and I to be showing up at Chad's alone. Not that I think Chad would think, well. She wouldn't want anyone to know she spent the afternoon with just me, it would seem inappropriate." Jensen figured it was mostly true but another, larger part just wanted to be with Jared, needed to have that additional support. "I can still drive though; I know you're probably exhausted from today."

"It's okay, Steph's our friend." Jared smiled warmly and lifted his hand to brush his fingers over Jensen's cheek. He was starting to get worried... wondering what could possibly have brought this look to Jensen's face.

Jensen's eyes fluttered closed for just a moment and he leaned close, bringing their lips together for a moment before falling back. "I love you," he breathed and smiled softly up at his boyfriend then turned to Stephanie as she reentered the room. She looked pale and slightly damp, like she'd just splashed her face with water. Jensen wondered for a moment if she'd gotten sick, he was pretty sure he remembered that being a pregnancy thing. "Stephanie, do you want some water, or maybe some crackers before we go?"

"I'm not sure I could keep much down right now." Stephanie whispered, eyes down on the ground.

She was clearly still embarrassed at being caught sleeping on Jensen's chest by his boyfriend. If Chad had walked in on that he probably wouldn't have taken it near as well as Jared had. Jensen gave the man a small smile and reached out for his hand; ready to lead them back out into the town.

It was only a ten minute drive to Chad's place from their own and the car remained silent. Jared had offered Stephanie the front seat because he was polite like that but the girl refused, sliding in back as all Companions would.

Jared took his boyfriend’s hand, squeezing softly and Jensen knew he was trying to provide comfort for a situation he couldn't even understand yet. Jensen needed some more time awake to process things anyway. Stephanie was so clearly upset, even if the sickness wasn't excused by pregnancy, and Jensen ached for her in ways he hadn't anticipated. Maybe it was their shared past, the Companion thing they could both understand, maybe Jensen was just meant to understand Stephanie.

Whatever it was, Jensen was glad for it. Stephanie certainly looked like she could use a friend. Though she turned down Jensen's offer to walk her up to her home. He could see Jared's curiosity, making him shift on the seat as they watched her head inside. "I can't really talk about it all until we get home." Jensen explained quietly and sighed. "How was the cafe today?"

"It was okay. I missed you though; which probably makes me sound kind of pathetic seeing as we haven't been apart since-" Jared stopped himself. They had been together every day since Jensen had returned home with him after being released from Purity. It was still a difficult time for them to discuss; a mess of emotions.

Squeezing Jared's hand, Jensen brought it up to his lips and pressed a small kiss to the top surface. "I missed you too. And it's not so pathetic. We've been working crazy hours. We're lucky we even have the strength to kiss each other goodnight after the hours we've been pulling." Jensen chuckled softly and shook his head, allowing his boyfriend's presence to ease some of the ache from what was supposed to be his relaxing day off. Not that he would have turned Stephanie away, but it certainly wasn't planned.

"It's definitely more work than I expected. The thing is, I enjoy it. I like meeting people. I do think some of the companions feel weird when I get them stuff." Jared smiled.

Chuckling softly Jensen shook his head and shrugged. "People do seem to enjoy you. All those girls flirting with you, so eager to touch your arm and stuff." Jensen huffed but smiled, pretending like he wasn't as jealous as he was. Which he was almost every time one of those girls flirted with Jared. It happened a lot, more than Jensen chose to acknowledge but the possessive part of him never failed to notice.

"I don't even notice. Only one person I want touching me." Jared slipped his hand over Jensen's thigh. "Did you get any rest today?"

"I slept in. Stephanie showed up a bit after I woke so, not too early." Jensen sighed softly, mind once more turning to the girl and her situation. "Then well, clearly we napped. I don't think she's been getting much sleep at home. Hey, you know, that was just... me comforting her right? I mean, I'm sure it looked very, odd. Coming home to that."

"Well, I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me a bit but that was ... You know. I get jealous. I can admit that." Sighing he pressed his lips together thoughtfully. "I knew that something must be bothering her and she sure looks tired." Jared's mind was back to wondering what idiotic thing Chad must have done to chase Stephanie off, normally, she wouldn't be parted from the guy's side.

"I'd probably be offended if you weren’t a bit jealous." Jensen smiled softly and shrugged. "But we both know there's nothing there, never will be. I'm sure the whole thing actually bothered her more than either of us. I won't be surprised to hear from Chad about it, she won't want to keep it secret." Jensen had never gotten over the inbred need for truth and honest Purity instilled in him. A few months before he'd accidentally broken one of Jared's inherited plates from his mother. Jensen had barely lasted ten minutes in Jared's presence before confessing. Stephanie would be the same with Chad, and even now Jensen was itching to tell Jared the situation. "Just us tonight yeah? You're home earlier than I thought."

Jared laughed softly. "It's surprising how fast I can move when you're the reward."

He stared out the window for a few moments then turned back to face Jensen. "Is she okay? I know you don't want to talk about it now but if Chad hurt her I swear I'll kick his ass."

Sighing softly, Jensen slowly nodded and blew out a low breath of relief as they pulled into the lot by their building. He didn't speak until Jared was joining him near the front door of the building, pulling out his key card. "I think she's okay," he said softly, fingers sliding along the small of Jared's back. "It's just, an unexpected complication. And not something we can really discuss in public."

Naturally, Jared's mind spun off in a million different directions as he tried to figure out what was going on. By the time they got into their apartment he was itching to start firing questions at his boyfriend.

Jensen led the way inside, distracted enough to not remember to take his shoes off until he was already in their bedroom. He dropped down on the bed and sighed, them off and sliding off the mattress to gather them up. He busied himself with dumping the clean load of laundry in the basket onto the bed, having been meaning to do it for days but never having the time. He needed to decide how to bring this up with Jared. The man might not see it automatically the way Jensen did, from Stephanie's point of view. This would be one of those moments where their differences were going to shine through.

Jared trailed into the bedroom and sat down beside his boyfriend. He picked up some socks and started to sort through them. "You know, we should use Mom's service to get our laundry done - they come back in these bags all flat and pressed perfectly. Something else we wouldn't have to try and do."

"I like doing laundry. It's soothing." Jensen murmured and tucked Jared's sleeves in along his night shirt that was used more often for painting than anything else. "Besides, it would make me feel so very odd if someone else did our laundry." It went against all his ethic codes or something. Sighing softly, Jensen shook his head and folded Jared's boxers slowly.

"Jared, about Stephanie... I want to talk to you about all of this, but, we need to seriously discuss it all okay? No jumping to conclusions or hasty decisions, deal?"

Tilting his head to the side Jared pulled his leg up onto the bed and leaned back against the headboard. "Okay. I mean, yeah, sure. I'm not gonna bite your head off or anything. Chad might have to defend himself if he did anything to Stephanie because I know she's more your friend than mine but - I like her - and before you think it, I respect her role with Chad." Folding his arms across his chest he smiled weakly. "Sorry... I'm nervous about what you're gonna say."

Jensen smiled softly and nodded, turning to tuck clothes in the drawers. He'd feel better if it was all put into place before they had this discussion. Or maybe he was just stalling for time, it was hard to say. "Okay." He sighed and dropped down onto the bed face Jared, fingers sliding along his jaw. "Well, I'm just going to say it because you know I don't like keeping things from you. Stephanie came to me today because, I guess, a couple weeks ago she found out she's pregnant." Jensen's eyes lifted slightly, just enough to gauge Jared's reaction.

"Wow. Okay. I -" Jared glanced down at his hands then back up at Jensen. "Is that a big deal? I mean, _God_ can't they just -" Jared realized he didn't have a clue what happened when companions got pregnant. "And, why did she look so sad? Doesn't she want a baby?"

"You did learn about Companions in school, didn't you?" Jensen said quietly, not all that surprised by Jared's lack of knowledge on the subject. It wasn’t like he'd needed to read the information about female Companions when Jensen came to live with him. "Stephanie being pregnant, that's almost as taboo as you and I. And, from what I understand, Chad isn't too pleased about the situation. He's been avoiding her." Jensen shrugged, and picked absently at the blanket beneath him.

"I guess I never really thought about babies and stuff like that. I figured, I guess, because you - because companions are so concerned about protection that she would. _God_ , Jensen wasn't she using some protection? How did she let that happen?" Jared's brow furrowed as he thought of all the repercussions.

"Excuse me?" Jensen looked up at Jared in surprise. "Because Chad has absolutely no fault in the matter? What if he didn't allow them to stop? You know how he can be with her sometimes, what if he just kept... begging for it and she got stuck between trying to do what was right and trying to satisfy her Master which is the most important thing." Jensen shook his head, frown turning his lips down. "It takes two people to make a baby. Chad is just as, if not more, responsible."

"Okay, first of all don't get pissed off at me because you're mad at Chad. Second - why would I even know about this Jensen? It's not something I ever really thought about - and when you came to me you were the one who was always reminding _me_ about what we could and couldn't do. And, for the record - don't imply that Chad would make her do anything that she didn't want to do because you make it sound like he's practically raping her." Jared bit down on his bottom lip. Chad was a lot of things but he wasn't cruel and Jared was pretty sure that he cared a lot about Stephanie.

"They aren't us Jared." Jensen sighed, bristling slightly from Jared's defensive words. "I know you want to think the best of Chad and I don't think he's a bad guy but the fact remains that Chad is the Possessor and Stephanie is his Companion. And even if he cares for her, she is still his _slave_. And don't just use you naivety here, you know I am just as ignorant about being with woman, you still know how a child is made." Jensen slid toward the edge of the bed, dropping his feet down onto the ground.

"She has to do what he says Jared, with the baby. If he doesn't want the child, then her choice doesn't matter. She has no say in the issue, and Chad could just as easily turn her over to Purity now. Then, that would be it. Do you know what they would do with her if she turned up pregnant at their corporation?"

"Why would he turn her over? She's not a dog he doesn't want anymore - I don't know why you're making it sound like he's going to just get rid of her." Jared looked down at his hands again and tugged at his t-shirt nervously. "I know they're not _us_. Don't talk to me like I'm stupid. And, I didn't say that I didn't know how babies are made. _Jesus_. I'm just surprised. You've had longer to absorb this so do you mind if I take a few moments to figure out how Chad might be feeling?"

Turning his back to Jared, Jensen sighed once more and slid to the edge of the bed, nails scraping up through his scalp. "You're right. Sorry. This is your friend and really, in the end, he'll be the one who makes the decision so." Jensen shrugged and slid his fingers down to his neck, massaging softly. "Well, that's the thing Stephanie told me." Looking over his shoulder at the man, Jensen's frown deepened. "For the record, I wasn't talking to you like you're stupid."

"Okay, I'm sorry. I'm just - Chad's my friend and I'm feeling a little defensive because we're right back to that companion versus possessor situation and _fuck_ why can't it just go away?" Jared huffed softly and folded his arms again. "It should never - I mean, we shouldn't be owning people and then shit like this wouldn't be happening in the first place. But a baby. _God_. Jensen? Chad can barely take care of himself."

This was very much the truth, Chad barely being able to take care of himself. Stephanie sometimes single handedly held the man up in whatever it was he was pursuing and adding a child to the mix wasn't going to work. "There's a few ways it can go. Chad could... agree to keep the baby. Then, they'd have to deal with Chad's family, the fallout from that. Or, Chad could decide to not keep the baby. Depending on what happens with that, Stephanie would either go back to Purity and likely be made one of the birthing mother's until she is too old to carry children. Or, Stephanie would just give the baby to Purity. It would be raised as one of the future Companions. Because, no matter how much you hate it, this is just how the world is Jared and no amount of disgust at it will change anything."

"Wait a birthing mother? What does that mean?" Jared didn't even like the _sound_ of that.

"Where do you think the Purity babies come from?" Jensen looked over at Jared, sad downward tilt of his lips marring his features. "Some women are chosen, those who may not be adequate as Companions for whatever reason, and they are made to carry children, however many, I'm not sure of all the details. Just that, they're kept in separate Clean Homes, and they never get to interact with their children. Somewhere out there my real mother exists, and I have half siblings I imagine. I suppose that's why relationships between Companions are strictly forbidden." Jensen shrugged; this was more fact than anything else. He didn't have any particular inclination for the woman who had given birth to him, no real reason to.

"But," Jared shook his head. "No. No. That's not - no, that's not right because Stephanie - she's already got a relationship with Chad. They've been together for ... for longer than you and I. She loves him - tell me you don't see that. I mean, how can they take her away - I'll talk to Chad." Jared pushed up off the bed and paced over to the door. "I'll - _fuck_ I'll kill him if he doesn't do this right, Jensen. There's got to be a way to figure it out - I figured out a way to have you."

Jared's mind was whirling with possibilities. He still couldn't choke down the fact that Chad might be the one causing the issue. What if Chad really didn't want a baby? What if Chad had done what Jensen implied and taken for granted that Stephanie would take care of everything and that was why this had happened in the first place. Jared ran his hand threw his hair.

Watching his boyfriend for a minute, Jensen considered his words than slowly stood, crossing to him and taking his hand. "The only reason Stephanie would become a birth mother is if Chad made the choice to give her up because of the pregnancy. We both know Chad wouldn't do that because, he just-" Jensen shrugged. Really, he didn't know, not for sure. He wanted to think Chad was better than that but tough situations tended to affect people differently and Chad was more the type to allow himself to be persuaded to make a decision that someone else thought best. Like his mother.

"Look, I know without a doubt that Stephanie loves Chad. I don't know if she wants this baby, because, she just... it's not in her mindset to _want_ like that. Does that make sense? Do you remember how long it took me to start admitting to the things I wanted, to accept that I could do things for myself without your say in the matter? Stephanie doesn't have that luxury no matter how unorthodox her relationship with Chad might be." Jensen reached up and cupped Jared's jaw, smiling softly. "You probably should talk to Chad."

"Now? Should I call him?" Jared squeezed Jensen's hand deferring to his boyfriend's judgment. Jared had never felt more like he was out of control. Talk to Chad; somehow make Chad understand that Stephanie needed some comfort, some guidance.

The last thing Jensen really wanted was to share his boyfriend on the one night they'd had off in a week but he understood the gravity of the situation so he shrugged. "Is this a conversation you think would be better on the phone? I know Chad's not exactly the most serious person out there but, I imagine he's probably feeling a little lost right about now." Jensen actually couldn't imagine how Chad was feeling at all, but Stephanie was so broken, her Possessor couldn't be far from that.

"I should go over there. You're telling me I should go over there? Should you come - wait - will Stephanie be upset that you've mentioned this to me? No." Jared shook his head as he tried to remember the things that Jensen had taught him about companions. "She will have told Chad she was here and, no doubt, she will have expected you to tell me."

Sinking back down on to the bed, Jared blew out a breath. "God, Jensen. I don't know if I'm the person to help with this... I sure screwed things up with you and I."

"Hey," Jensen sat slowly beside Jared and once more cupped his jaw, turning him so their eyes could meet. "You did what you had to, to get us together. And look at us now, we're better than ever. You gave me a life and a home and _love_. And Chad is your best friend. You know him better than anyone outside Stephanie. Chances are, he's going to want to talk right? Maybe he'll need to rant for a while, get out all his fears and everything. You can't fix this for him, but you can help." Jensen smiled soft and encouraging up at Jared, thumb sliding along his skin slowly.

Jared leaned in to press his lips to his boyfriend's. Jensen was his center, the focus in his life. If Jensen believed he could help then it just shored up his belief that he could. Reaching in to his back pocket he pulled his phone out.

"I just hope I know what to say... _God_ I can't even imagine having a baby to take care of." Shaking his head slowly Jared stared down at the phone in his hands for a few moments before speaking, "call Chad."

Putting the phone to his ear he let himself flop back on the bed.

With a smile Jensen patted Jared's stomach for a moment then stood, heading back over to the hamper to sort through the clothes and give Jared some privacy while still being there to support as needed. It was really all he could do at the moment.

"Hello?" Chad mumbled into the phone, voice sounding worn and slightly rough.

"Dude, I'm coming over. I'm giving you a ten minute warning to get your pants on." Jared smiled and pushed his hair off his forehead.

"Jared, man, I'm not- it's. Damnit. I know Stephanie was there today, and I know what you know and I just, I'm not ready to -" Chad sighed long and hard for a moment before grunting. "You're coming anyway aren't you?"

"Yeah, and it'll be really embarrassing if I have to start vidding your neighbors to try and find someone to let me in." Jared pushed himself up, groaning. He _was_ tired, Jensen was right. "You need anything? Should I bring Jensen or is Stephanie sleeping?"

"I sent her to her room for the night. She needs to sleep." Chad's voice caught for a moment, hesitating then resuming. "Don't bring Jensen. He just, he's probably got all these stupid ass thoughts and opinions on the matter and he doesn't even understand because he's not like us. Uh, sorry. No offense or anything."

"I am offended but I'll forgive you because you're stressed. I'll be over soon." Jared ended the call without giving Chad a chance to defend himself. "Shit."

Turning back to his boyfriend, Jensen frowned slightly. "What?"

"Nothing." Jared stood and tossed his phone on the bed. "I'm going, I guess." He tried to sound less skeptical about the upcoming conversation than he felt. It just was kind of starting off on a bad note because of the fact that Chad still truly believed in _us_ and _them_.

Pacing over to Jensen he slid his arms round his boyfriend and buried pressed his lips to the back of his neck. "I love you Jensen."

Smiling softly Jensen leaned back into his boyfriend's arms. It crossed his mind to ask if he should come along but he could already guess with the _I'm going_ statement. "I love you too," Jensen murmured softly and tapped into the still lingering Companion part of him to not feel the pinch of jealousy that Chad was now getting his night with Jared.

Turning in Jared's arms, Jensen smiled up at him before pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "Don't drink. I know how Chad is, he'll want you to but I'd rather you come home tonight." Jensen half shrugged and smoothed Jared's hair back. "Wake me if you get in late and need to talk?"

"Yeah," Jared pressed his lips to Jensen's once more, lingering, _safe_. "Talk to you soon."

-=-=-=-

It didn't take Jared long to get to Chad's, after all, it was evening and the traffic was light compared to the day. He hesitated a bit at the bottom of the walk up to their building; nerves on edge. Jensen was always better at _people_ things and Jared was used to having him by his side. Finally, he entered his personal code on the panel by the door and Chad let him in.

Jared used the elevator ride to compose himself, try and get himself in the right frame of mind. By the time he reached the door to Stephanie and Chad's apartment it was already partially open. Chad was expecting him after all.

"Chad?" Kicking his boots off Jared padded into the apartment and found Chad spread out on the couch with a glass in his hand. "Hey."

"Sup," Chad jerked his head up in a greeting and made no move from the couch. "Drink?" Chad leaned forward and poured a large helping of bourbon into the empty glass on the table, sliding it toward Jared.

"Thanks." Jared knew better than to argue with Chad but left the glass on the table when he sank down into the chair. "So?"

"So. We fucked up." Chad shrugged and tipped his glass back, draining it in one long pull. His eyes slid to the closed door across the room and he shrugged. "What else is there to say?"

"How about... what happened? I mean - Okay - you weren't using some kind of protection? I'm not expert on women's birth control but I'm pretty sure that it's easier than it used to be." Jared remembered the life classes they'd attended in High School. Birth control had come a long way but a lot of the healthier methods still involved some forethought.

"Man, she was getting that injection shit or whatever, but every time she went in she spent days after shaking and with a fever. They couldn't figure out a way around it and I couldn't deal with her like that once a month. I mean, I couldn't see her like that." Chad shrugged once more and poured himself another drink. "So I told them no more. We used condoms, even though that's all discouraged and shit. Guess... I must have had one too many or she forgot, something. I don't remember when the official, date or whatever was."

"So. Okay. It's a kid. People have kids - sometimes. It's not unheard of. Right?" It wasn't _unheard of_ but it wasn't exactly normal.

"Dude. Fucking married couples have kids. You don't have kids with your _slave_ , it doesn't work that way. Do you have any idea what my mom is going to say? Hell, I'll be lucky if the least they do is disown me. My parents aren't going to be all welcoming and shit like yours with your little queer buddy." Chad flinched at the words and lifted a hand. "Sorry. I just, haven't slept much. For a while."

Jared bristled at Chad's words. Any other day that would have been the kind of thing that would have cost Chad a punch on the jaw. Leaning forward in the chair Jared raised his eye brows. "Tired or not Chad I'm here as your friend so - let's try and be civil. I know you’re scared and I know this isn't the kind of situation that you _ever_ wanted to be in - but you are. How about we try and figure out how to turn this into something good?"

"I don't want a kid. I can't _have_ a kid, Jared. There is nothing good about this. Nothing." Chad shook his head and drained his glass. "I don't even know, I can't handle this. Stephanie just sulks around here and I feel guilty as shit, I can hardly even look at her but not because- damnit. Jared. I just, can't handle this."

"I'll help. Jensen and I will help. What's wrong with just... okay. Chad, what does Stephanie want to do? Have you asked her? I don't care what your mother thinks - what does Stephanie want?" Jared couldn't imagine making a decision without Jensen's input but that had been the way they were from the very beginning. Jared had felt a connection to Jensen almost instantly, enveloped in the warmth of the man's quiet confidence. He'd watched Stephanie and Chad together and knew that they had feelings for each other. It was obvious.

Chad's gaze leveled on Jared and for someone with so many drinks in him, his eyes were mostly clear. "Jared, I like you, you're one of my best friends and you know I respect you and the way you run your life. And you know I like Jensen, really, I'm not fakin' any of that. But Jensen is not Stephanie. She is my Companion, not my equal. And I am not you. This isn't a negotiation; I'm not having a kid. Stephanie's or otherwise." The soft click of a door had Chad looking away and he winced, groaning as he sank back on the couch. "Fuck. She heard that didn't she?"

"Smooth." Jared shook his head and sank back in the chair. "Okay. Chad. I get what you're saying and I'm not asking you to change the way your relationship works but what about her? Does it really not matter to you what she wants or how she feels? She loves you." Jared's brows drew together, his heart hurting a little at the idea that Chad couldn't _feel_ how important that was.

"I know she does. But, even if I asked her about it Jared, she'd do what I wanted. That's what she was bred to be and you know it. How hard did you have to work to get Jensen to think for himself? And he was never your full Companion. Stephanie has been mine for over a year and half." Chad groaned once more and slid his hand through his hair. "Besides man, isn't it like, offensive or something? Fuck, I don't know. I shouldn't have to be dealing with this shit."

"Well, Chad - that's the price we pay I guess. I mean - I might not be able to get Jensen pregnant but we've dealt with our own shit storm and you know it. You know my Mother and I - _God_ we had some real nasty conversations and I could have lost my family. Some things you just gotta deal with. I know you probably don't want my advice right now... but I think you gotta give yourselves some time. You've got time - it's the one thing you've got on your side. And _Jesus_ , Chad - don't leave her alone in there. Can you imagine how fucking scared she is?"

"I don't even fucking know what to say to her. Every time I try she apologizes or whatever and man, I can't handle that shit either." Chad sighed heavily and pushed off the couch. "But fine, yeah. You're right. I should talk to her. Or just, hold her or something. Fuck." Chad huffed and kicked weakly at the couch. "Don't hate me when I give it some time and still don't want this kid."

Standing, head inclined just enough to see Chad's expression Jared smiled. His voice was soft. "Chad, I could never hate you. I just want things to be okay. For now... just hold Steph, remember - you're her whole world." Jared reached out and squeezed his friend's shoulder. There really was no way to make any of this _better_ but if Stephanie needed anything she needed her possessor.

"Yeah." Chad nodded, half stepping toward Stephanie's door then looking back. "Look, tell Jensen, just. Make sure he knows that I care. For," Chad gestured toward the door and shrugged. "More than care. You know? Just so he knows."

Nodding, Jared smiled and headed toward the door. "I'll tell him."

Jared wasn't entirely sure if Jensen would believe it - although - there was something in Chad's eyes that made Jared believe.

-=-=-=-

By the time Jared got home Jensen was sound asleep. Undressing quietly Jared stood by the side of the bed for a while staring down at his boyfriend. It was so strange to him that Chad could be so hesitant to admit his love for Stephanie but that was because Jared couldn't imagine _not_ saying it. He adored Jensen. Jensen _was_ his life, his love - and all those other cliché things that he'd thought weren't really before.

Climbing into bed as carefully as he could he pressed up against Jensen's back and breathed in the familiar scent. It wasn't just the scent of Jensen anymore - it was _them_. Jared and Jensen. Together - the way it had really seemed all along. He slipped his arm over Jensen's waist and pulled him closer. "I love you _so_ much," he whispered.

"Shh," Jensen murmured sleepily and tucked into his body, head rolling softly along Jared's chest. "My boyfriend will be home any minute. He might catch you." Jensen grinned against Jared's skin, pressing his lips softly there.

Laughing quietly, Jared kissed his boyfriend's forehead. "I can take him. Go back to sleep." Curling his other arm under Jensen's neck Jared sighed and settled down into the mattress.


	3. Chapter 3

The morning after Jared's conversation with Chad, they'd managed to sit down and discuss at least part of it for about five minutes until there was no putting off heading into the cafe. Jensen had worried that he would be distracted by his concern for both Stephanie and Chad but it was hard to think of anything outside of work when he was there in the midst of it all.

Because of the grand opening Sharon had so persistently put together, the cafe was already generating a lot of press that Jensen hadn't anticipated. It seemed like there was always more work to be done. Though he enjoyed most aspects of it, most nights his entire body ached so badly it was all he could do to strip down and collapse in bed. Usually Jared followed moments after him.

As the days passed Jensen wondered sometimes if he'd even remembered to eat since he'd woken up. He was usually too amped up by caffeine running in his veins and the adrenaline of constantly cooking and cleaning and helping behind the counter to think of anything else.

Jared was often torn between several places one right after another. Sometimes helping Jensen in back with the cooking, stepping out front when one of the employees got a little caught up on a transaction, overcoming his shy modesty when a person expressed interest in his art. It was a careful juggling act that they had yet to master and though the cafe had only been officially opened by that point for two weeks, Jensen was already missing the time he'd had to himself or with Jared before.

On his eighth day of working straight in a row, exhausted from the almost sixteen hours he'd spent in the cafe the day before, Jensen was a little too past the point of worn. Jared had taken the day before off out of necessity. He needed to take some art to a collector in the next town over and would be staying the night there in a hotel. He'd taken Chad with him which was good because from the little Jensen had heard; things weren't much better for their friends. Jensen had difficulties sleeping without Jared in the bed, the event happening so seldom he hadn't dosed off until well past two and therefore was running on roughly four hours of sleep.

All of this, combined with the half dozen drink orders spilled already that morning and the tray of cinnamon rolls that had burnt and left a lingering odor in the back room, was really making Jensen's nerves fry. He was waiting for Jared to get back, eager to see him and hear how the transaction went - lamenting that he hadn't been able to tag along to ensure Jared was treated fairly - when a costumer stepped up to the counter.

"I'm not ordering from you." The man almost snarled the words.

Jensen was so surprised by them he almost thought his sleep deprived, over worked brain was imagining things. Only Amanda beside him had also stilled in her movements so clearly he wasn't. "I'm sorry?" He said quietly, uncertain how to proceed though he already had a hunch as to what would follow.

"I know what you are, Purity cast-off, scum not good enough for our society, and I'm _not_ having you touch my drink or food." The man continued, nearly hissing the words.

Jensen hadn't encountered this as often as he thought he was going to once Purity had taken his band off and released him in the world. It wasn't as if it made news or anything, but no matter how the world had evolved and the society changed, gossip was still a wicked and rampant thing. He could feel his heart clench in his chest, skin growing hot and instinctively his eyes dropped. "I'm sorry sir; I don't believe I know what you're talking about."

"You're not fooling anyone, look at you, cowering already. You don't even deserve to be living, not good enough to be clean. Now get out of my sight before I get the owner and complain about the filth he has working in this place."

Jared had been happy. He was exhausted but things had gone well with the dealer and he was looking forward to seeing Jensen. What he hadn't counted on was the _shock_ that he felt to hear someone speak to his lover like he was the most disgusting thing on the face of the earth. The chill of anger that swept over him was entirely too overwhelming and before he was even really aware of what he was doing he grabbed the man's arm and spun him. "You apologize to my boyfriend and then get the _fuck_ out of our cafe."

"I'm not apologizing to that filth and get your _hand_ off me you little queer." The man shoved back at Jared, stumbling a few steps before straightening himself.

Jensen still felt a little dizzy from the entire situation but he had enough sense in him to round the counter quickly and grab Jared before he could do anything rash that would get him in trouble. Punching the man in front of all the customers wouldn’t be wise.

"Jared," he breathed, urging him quietly, hating the confrontation already. "Sir, you've been asked to leave the premises, if you don't do so we will be contacting the police." Jensen's shoulders were shaking but he fought against it, even if he couldn't raise his eyes to look at the man.

"You should be the one in jail, both of you, disgusting. Perverted _filth_. You're the reason our world fell the first time." The man stepped forward once more, hand raised with a pointed finger.

 _That_ was enough. Jared shoved Jensen aside and launched himself at the man slinging an arm around his neck and getting him into a headlock. He cinched his arm tight and locked his other hand over his own wrist all but cutting off the man's air. "I asked you nicely, now I'm gonna _show_ you the way out." Shuffling and then half dragging the _idiot_ toward the door Jared kicked it open with his foot and released his grip on the man moments before shoving him hard and watching as he stumbled and fell to one knee on the sidewalk. "If I _ever_ see you near here again I'm calling the police."

Spinning Jared let the door close and strode back to Jensen. "Are you okay?"

There was a fairly moderate sized crowd in the cafe and Jensen could feel their eyes on them, knew they had seen the entire scene play out and likely heard most of the words. Jensen blinked once and looked up at Jared, shaking his head just barely then forcing a smile. "I'm fine. You shouldn't have done that but it's probably best you did. Could have been worse. How was your trip? It's good to see you." His body was still shaking and he felt a little weak on his feet but there was no way he was going to break down while he still had a shop to run and more than a dozen people glancing their way uncertainly.

Slipping an arm over Jensen's shoulder, Jared pulled him behind the counter and off to the side. "You should never have to put up with shit like that Jensen. _Never_. That's it. I'm not leaving you here alone anymore. We'll have to figure out something else, close for a couple days a week or hire someone. Stephanie maybe - and Tom - I'll ask Tom." Now that the adrenaline was beginning to leave Jared's body he wasn't feeling much except scared for Jensen's safety. The stupid thing was that he didn't care if anyone hurt him, but if they hurt Jensen - that was a whole other ballgame.

"We can't hire Stephanie Jared." Jensen frowned and shook his head. "And, I said I'm fine. I am. I could have handled the man. It's not like it's ever happened here before. Really, I'm okay. I'm good." Jensen forced his lips up into a smile and patted Jared's chest, looking over at Amanda who was fumbling with the correct change to give back to the next customer.

"We probably should hire someone else. Anyway, do you want to go home and get some sleep? I'm sure you and Chad were up late." Jensen fidgeted in his place mainly because he was mostly _lying_ about being okay but he had to be strong, push through it because it wasn't the first time, wouldn't be the last. And no amount of wanting to just take Jared home and show him how much he missed him would make the work load disappear.

"We were up late and I'm not going anywhere." Jared sank down on the stool behind the counter, frowning and folding his arms across his chest. He could tell that Jensen wasn't _okay_ but if his boyfriend didn't want to admit it - that was just fine - Jared would sit there anyway.

Sighing softly, Jensen rubbed at his eyes and turned, pulling up a cup to fix Jared his favorite mocha. "Tell me how your art deal went." He asked as he worked, talking over the sound of the machine brewing, eyes fixed on the cup in his hand.

"Went fine, he bought most of what we took and agreed to hang the rest somewhere on commission. He works with quite a few galleries so it's going to be good exposure. Chad was miserable and confused and we got really drunk." Jared uncrossed his arms to rub at his eyes. They ached and felt a bit like someone had sandpapered them.

It had been a rough night - Chad was one of those guys who did _not_ do upset very well. After trying to talk to him, console him, reasons with him, Jared had finally given up and opted for getting them both drunk in the hopes that Chad would pass out.

"Mm, what a surprise." Jensen mumbled and added an extra shot of espresso to the drink for his boyfriend's sake. Most of the time Chad and _drunk_ went pretty hand in hand. And Jensen didn't really need to add jealousy to the swarm of emotions struggling for control in overextended system. "Here you go, a pick me up." Jensen slid the drink on the counter in front of Jared. "And that's good about the paintings. The exposure will be excellent I'm sure." Jensen gave him a real smile this time, the action flickering away at the sound of Amanda knocking over a stack of cups.

Jared blinked a few times and stared over at Amanda. "Is she... okay? She's kinda clumsy."

"Kind of would be a gross understatement." Jensen looked over at the girl and sighed. She was from a different world than Jared; different enough to not even have a Companion, and Jensen thought she might not have had the best life. So he sympathized and was too much of a push over to fire her. "I better go help. I'll see you later." He nodded once at Jared before turning and stooping over to grab a stray cup that had rolled toward him, suppressing the groan at the ache in his back as he pushed back up.

Jared watched as Jensen patiently tried to help Amanda get things sorted out. He knew that she should probably be let go but he also knew that Jensen would probably feel extremely guilty if that happened. Everyone deserved a chance and Jared figured if anyone could settle Amanda down and teach her to be helpful - it was Jensen.

Still unsettled by the attack from the customer, Jared scanned the crowd of customers still left. The problem was that the guy had been so non-descript, so _normal_ looking that it scared Jared. What if there were more people like him and Jensen was alone in the cafe when one of them decided to stir up something. Jared couldn't live with himself if something happened to his boyfriend.

Rolling his shoulders he couldn't help smiling when he watched as Jensen snatched a cup out of thin air that Amanda had fumbled. Shaking his head he sipped at his mocha. They definitely needed to hire some people.

-=-=-=-

Jensen was tired, exhausted really, and therefore irritable and probably more than a little moody. He was also still extremely shaken from the events with the man earlier. And he had no idea when or what he'd eaten last. Therefore the drive home from the cafe was silent. It was past ten and Jensen's entire body _ached_ but everything was set up in the morning for Cody to open with Amanda. Jensen had quite a bit more faith in Cody so he probably wouldn't feel guilty getting there later than usual. Jared had spent most of the afternoon sorting through the art in the gallery, and then having coffee with Jeff when his brother came in to visit, but Jensen suspected he was tired as well.

He was still worn from the night before even though he’d tried not to dwell on it. There was no reason to be jealous of _Chad_ of all people, but he couldn't help it. He wanted to go out of town with Jared for the night, and his thoughts were just one conflicting mess.

Twenty two years of being trained to put others first, put your Possessor first, battling against the yearlong relearning to be selfish once in awhile. Then there was the man from that afternoon and his words of _filth_ , hateful and mean, and more frightening than he admitted.

The silence continued as they headed up to their apartment. Jensen slid the key card in and held the door for Jared and his overnight bag. When they finally got into their apartment Jensen went through the process of tucking away his shoes and hanging up his coat, shoulders hunched slightly. "I think I'm just going to go to bed," he said quietly and squeezed Jared's arm softly once before heading for the bedroom, pulling his shirt off and tossing it in the hamper.

Jared hovered in the living room for a little while and found himself wondering, yet again, if he'd stepped in too soon and should have just let Jensen deal with the idiot at the cafe. It was hard for him not to be protective of Jensen - he just didn't seem as equipped as Jared to deal with people being harsh. As a companion, Jensen had very little interaction with people outside Jared's immediate circle and they certainly weren't inclined to be aggressive toward him.

Sighing, he finally slipped out of his boots and jacket and decided to leave his overnight bag in the living room. He half hoped Jensen would already be asleep when he went into the bedroom because Jared _hated_ seeing his boyfriend so tired and worn down. The situation with Stephanie was kind of lingering around them even when they weren't speaking of it and Jared suspected that Jensen was extremely worried about her. But then, he should be.

Padding down the hallway quietly Jared pushed their bedroom door open and glanced over at his boyfriend. Jensen's eyes were still wide open, his stare a million miles away. Stopping by the side of the bed, Jared trailed his fingers through Jensen's hair. "Whatcha thinking about?"

"Nothing and everything all at once." Jensen sighed and shifted on the mattress, slowly closing his eyes as he shifted the pillow beneath his head. "Did Chad say anything more about his decision? Or if he's talked to Stephanie?" It wasn't really what he wanted to talk about most but he figured it would be good to know if he should squeeze in some time the following day to call Stephanie.

"I'm pretty sure he's not going to change his mind about the baby Jensen." Jared sank down onto the edge of the bed, the warm weight of Jensen's knees pressed against him. "We talked a lot about it. He's terrified, and I understand that - you know - we are raised with people taking care of _us_ ; not to take care of someone else. It's all so messed up. He loves her so much." Jared dropped his gaze and rubbed at the back of his neck.

"I guess I'll call Stephanie tomorrow then. To see if she wants to talk about it all or something." Jensen sighed and closed his eyes once more, turning into the pillow. There wasn't a part of him that didn't ache and he felt so very odd. Like the last eight days of solid working was adding up to break his brain down or something. "Are you sleeping now or will you be working for a bit?"

"Well, I was thinking of giving you a massage. Would that help?" Jared was at a bit of a loss as to help his boyfriend.

Smiling briefly up at Jared, Jensen reached out to touch his thigh then pulled his hand back. "It's probably better if I just go to bed. I still have to go into the cafe fairly early tomorrow. And I just... feel kind of," Jensen shrugged and rolled onto his stomach, arms tucking under the pillow. He didn't want to tell Jared how silly he was being about everything and knew at this point sleeping was probably the only way out of it.

"Oh. Okay." Jared pushed up off the bed and headed for the bedroom door. "I wish I could fix things for you," he murmured. It always upset him when he couldn't make Jensen feel better. He knew there would be times like that but it just made him feel so alone. "I'll just... well, g'night." Heading back down the hallway Jared went over to the bar and flipped a glass up. Maybe Chad had the right idea about the drinking thing.

Sighing softly Jensen felt tears prick along his eyes and rolled over to stare at the empty part of the bed. No amount of being tired could make him fall asleep for the second night in the row without Jared beside him. Pushing the blanket to the side, Jensen slowly stood and padded silently down the hall, leaning against the doorway to watch Jared's back. "I miss you," he admitted in a soft whisper, arms sliding protectively across his chest.

Jared started and turned almost spilling his drink. "I... did you want me to come and lie down with you till you fall asleep?" Smiling, Jared put his drink down and headed over to his boyfriend. Sometimes, he felt like he didn't know what to do - and like all that time ago, still needed Jensen to tell him.

"You know you can do what you want." Jensen said quietly and let the wall hold his weight up. "I don't think I feel very well. Mentally. And probably physically because I'm so tired. I feel like, everything could change now, you know?" Jensen shuffled slightly from foot to foot, shrugging as his eyes slid across the floor.

"Change? What? You and me?" Jared leaned against the wall beside Jensen and reached out to link their fingers together.

"Yes." Jensen nodded and let his head drop back against the wall, sighing softly. "It’s foolish. But just, the two nights you've had off since the cafe was open have been spent with Chad and I can't even remember the last time I touched you." Jensen lifted his head and looked at Jared, smiling wryly. "I'm sure it's just for now, being newly open and such. Were you going to drink some more now? I'm just going to..." Jensen turned away before Jared could see the tears that were irrationally forming in his eyes, heading for the door once more.

"Hey, whoa. Gimme a second." Jared headed after his boyfriend quickly. "I- I thought you wanted me to try and get through to Chad. _God_ , Jensen this isn't about you and I. I'd be happy to just stay out of the mess between Chad and Stephanie because frankly it's making me feel like my stomach is going to turn inside out.”

Turning Jensen toward him, Jared sighed, expression softening. "Oh, Jensen. C'mon." Slipping an arm over Jensen's shoulders Jared tugged his boyfriend back down the hall and into the bedroom. "Bed," he murmured and pulled back the covers so Jensen could slide under them again.

In just a few moments Jared stripped and flipped the light out then slid into bed as well. Smiling, he smoothed Jensen's hair back off his forehead. "I love you - nothing's going to change between us. God, Jen I swear I'm just trying to do the right thing - make you proud of me. You know?"

"I am proud of you." Jensen said quietly and shifted into Jared's heat. For just a moment he could hear the echo of the word _filth_ in his mind and he closed his eyes, dipping his head to hide the slick heat of tears from his boyfriend. He just needed to sleep, get over it, and then it would be fine. "I love you too. And I'll try not to wake you in the morning when I get up."

"You know that guy, Jensen. You know everything he said was wrong ... about you. About us. We're not any of those things." Jared hooked two fingers under Jensen's chin and tilted his head back up, heart clenching when he saw the tears. Pulling Jensen into his arms Jared sighed and tucked his boyfriend's head in under his chin. "God, Jensen, why didn't you tell me you were so upset?"

"I didn't want you to worry." Jensen murmured and closed his eyes, opening them again slowly to stare through blurry eyes at Jared. "I think it's just everything. So tired, worn out, that guy and all the things at work. Then you gone and I only slept four hours last night because it was so horrible without you here with me. And I don't really understand how I can miss you when you're right here with me." He wrapped his arm around Jared's middle, pulling in his heat.

"S'my job to worry about you," Jared murmured. "Yours to worry about me. This is a rough time for both of us Jensen what with the stuff with Steph and the cafe. That guy - you really should have let me punch him - although I've never punched anyone so I'm not sure it would have worked out in my favor." Jared smiled against Jensen's hair, soft and warm.

Sighing softly, Jensen flattened his hand on Jared's back and closed his eyes once more. "Someone might have reported you. The last thing we need is you getting in trouble." Jensen frowned; wishing the tightness in his chest would go away. "I'm sorry; I don't know what's wrong with me." He strengthened his grip on Jared, pushing one leg between Jared's.

"Well, okay - maybe we need to hire you a big burly bodyguard for work. No. Wait. I don't want the competition." Jared sighed when Jensen didn't laugh even though his attempt at humor was pretty feeble. "What can I do? Tell me how to make you feel better?" Jared nuzzled into Jensen's hair and ducked down to kiss his temple, then his cheek.

Pulling back slightly, Jensen stared up at Jared and sniffed, feeling guilty for making Jared feel bad about the whole thing. "I'll be okay. I have to be right? Just, stay in here with me?" He whispered and scooted forward to lay his forehead against Jared's.

Kissing away his boyfriend's tears Jared smiled slightly. "You don't have to be okay all the time. That's why you have me." Folding his arms even tighter around Jensen, Jared sighed long and hard. "I love you _so_ much, if you're not okay - I'll be okay for a while." Rubbing his hands in small circles on his boyfriend's back Jared hummed quietly.

"I love you too." Jensen breathed, eyes fluttering, pressing up into the kiss and heat of Jared's body. "I need a day off," he laughed humorlessly, and slumped against Jared's body, shifting until they were flush together. He tilted back up, running his lips along Jared's neck, sucking over the flesh to pull comfort from it.

"Hmmm," Jared let his head fall to the side and slide his hand down to curl over Jensen's hip. "Stay here tomorrow, I'll go in. I'll even bring you breakfast in the morning - in bed." Jensen's lips were awfully distracting.

Pulling back slightly, Jared waited till Jensen looked up at him. "You should sleep..."

"I miss you," Jensen pointed out, blinking at him before sighing and slumping back on the pillow. "Alright. But I can't stay home tomorrow. Shipment. So, you can just come with me. If you want. Unless you have plans." Jensen looked back at him and frowned. "Don't you miss me? Or..."

Smile warming Jared shook his head. "I miss you the moment you close your eyes. I miss you when you're sitting too far away or when you're talking to someone else and I can't see your eyes. And yes, I missed you while I was away."

Jared reached over and grabbed Jensen then rolled back so his boyfriend was lying on top of him. "Okay, there, I can't go anywhere tonight and, frankly, I don't want to. Tomorrow I'll be with you all day. Sleep," he ordered and claimed Jensen's mouth with a hard kiss.

Moaning softly into the kiss, Jensen spread his legs to either side of Jared's body and rocked down into him, tongue sliding forward to run against Jared's. Pulling back slightly, Jensen peered down at him, eyes narrowing. "Now how am I supposed to sleep like this?" He finally felt a real, genuine smile tug up the corner of his lips, heart finally feeling less heavy in his chest.

"What?" Jared blinked innocently, smile tugging at his lips. Stretching up off the bed he ran his tongue along Jensen's bottom lip and shifted his hips slightly. _God_. Jensen's weight on him turned him on, made him _want_ the man. But then - that was nothing new - wanting Jensen. "I can, uh, let you sleep. You know," his lips were on Jensen's chin, then his jaw. "If that's what you need."

"Sleep is a necessity," Jensen murmured and tilted his head slightly to give Jared's lips more room. "But I don't need it. I need you." He felt the sudden _rush_ of it all, the need for Jared pulsing through him and he fumbled back, shoving at his boxers so he could be just as naked as Jared beneath him. His lips fell hard over Jared's once more, straddling his body and groaning as their skin slid together.

Moaning, Jared arched his body up off the mattress - fingers already digging hard into Jensen's hips. Sucking in a deep breath he gazed up at Jensen, taken aback by the sudden shift in his demeanor. _Not_ at all that it wasn't okay or right or really fucking hot - but being needed like that made Jared's head spin a little. Because he believed it. He knew that feeling of being disconnected and wanting to just touch, love, be made real by someone.

"There's nothing wrong with this." Jensen breathed and it was more for himself than Jared's benefit. He knew it was true but the reassurance was good. And how could there ever be anything disgusting or wrong about this sort of pleasure? His lips slid down Jared's jaw, across his neck, over his collar bone and down still. His tongue flicked out over Jared's nipple, pulling it into his mouth, dragging his teeth over the hardening nub. "Do you need me?" Jensen murmured into his skin, rolling his hips slowly along Jared's leg, breath catching in his throat.

Jared's breath shuddered as he tried to calm himself a little. "Yes, _God_ yes, I need you." He couldn't stop moving his hands, palms dragging over Jensen's flesh, gripping his arms, cupping his cheeks. "Need you _so_ much." Jared wasn't even sure if he could fully express exactly how much he did need Jensen. There was no way he ever wanted a life without his boyfriend - no matter what they might have to put up with. _This_ was his life, holding Jensen, being with him, comforting each other.

Moaning softly, Jensen slid his hand down between them and stroked along Jared's cock, feeling it thicken and fill more. "What do you need from me Jared?" Jensen slid slightly to the side and up so he could breathe the words along Jared's ear and continue to stroke along his hard flesh. He rolled Jared's balls against his palm, fingers prodding gently down, rubbing along his entranced and pulling back.

Letting out a half moan half whimper, Jared twisted toward Jensen. "You, want. _God_ -" Turning his face toward Jensen he kissed his boyfriend's bottom lip, sucking gently for a few moments. "Jensen, need you in me. Need you to fuck me-" Jared's breath hitched and he panted softly into his boyfriend's mouth. "M'yours," he whispered. Pulling back enough to stare into his boyfriend's eyes Jared shivered. "Please."

"Gladly." Jensen moaned softly and rolled toward him, pressing Jared hard down into the mattress to slide their lips together and shove his hand under the pillow, patting around until he managed to curl his fingers along the bottle of lube.

"Jared," He panted the name softly into the kiss, fumbling with the bottle as he dropped back. Hearing that Jared needed him never got old. Being needed and wanted, by _Jared_ made him feel complete and whole. His lips slid along Jared's, down to his neck, sucking at the flesh as he pushed Jared's legs further apart to gain access to him.

Jared pulled his knees back, legs falling open as his body shivered with anticipation. He slid his hands down his sides, lingering on his own hips then grazing over the sensitive flesh of his cock. _God_ he wanted Jensen inside him, needed to feel that - _wanted_ to feel it. "Please," he murmured again.

"I love how you need me," Jensen murmured and slipped one lube slick finger along Jared's skin, slowly rubbing along the entrance and pushing forward. Two weeks of no sex, a little more if Jensen really thought about it and Jensen was almost vibrating with desire for him already. "Mm gonna fuck you Jared, so hard, claim you as mine." Jensen breathed against Jared's ear, pressing into his side, finger rocking steadily up into him, sliding back out, gently working the muscle.

A shudder ran down Jared's body. _This_ was the one place Jensen had no trouble being in control. _Knew_ what he wanted and took it. _This_ was their home, the place they belonged together. It had been too long, too long and Jared's heart was thumping hard in his chest. Muscles clenching and relaxing, Jared tried to twist closer to his boyfriend as lust shimmered across his body.

"Have I ever told you I love seeing you like this?" Jensen murmured, pushing up to one elbow to peer down at the flush on Jared's body, just barely visible in the moonlight spilling in through the blinds.

"The way you move, the way you look at me like you can't imagine anywhere else you'd rather be." Jensen exhaled slowly, dipping down to brush his lips against Jared's, adding a second finger slowly, stretching his lover with gentle sweeps, pushing in deeper just to get Jared's hips to move up eagerly once more.

"Jensen-" Jared shifted on the mattress, ass clenched around his boyfriend's fingers. "Want you." Writhing slightly, lips latching on to the warmth of his boyfriend's flesh he moaned and dug his heels in to the mattress, hips arching up then dropping back down to push onto Jensen's fingers.

Wetting his lips, Jensen rolled slightly over Jared, bringing their lips together in a long, deep kiss. He swept his tongue in slow gentle circles around the inside of Jared's mouth, mapping out familiar tastes and then swallowing Jared's moans as he added a third finger to the tight heat. His body rocked forward against Jared's, anticipation sparking along his system, heart slamming hard in his chest. "Ready?" He panted against Jared's mouth, rocking forward and back.

"Yes, God... Jensen, please." It had been entirely too long since they had this kind of time together. Always too tired, too busy - it was stupid and they should have made time for each other. Jared's body pushed up against his boyfriend's - each part of him _wanting_ , seeking out the touch of Jensen's body. Hands sliding down the man's side, over the planes of his body.

Pulling his fingers back, Jensen shifted between Jared's legs, sitting back on his calves, slicking cool liquid slowly along his cock. Already there was the finest sheen of sweat along Jared's body and Jensen dragged his teeth over his lips, taking too long to thoroughly coat himself. "Gorgeous," he breathed and stretched out over Jared, lining up at his entrance. "Been too long," Jensen whispered against Jared's lips and gently rocked forward, just barely sliding in and back out, teasing Jared open.

Jared's hands fell to his sides, fingernails scratching over the quilt. "Jensen, don't-" Jared gasped as his lover's cock pushed just inside him and withdrew once more.

" _Jesus_ ," he hissed. Rolling his hips forward Jared tried to get _more_ , closer. "Please, Jensen." A bead of sweat trickled down his temple, across his cheek and Jared moaned as Jensen tormented him in the sweetest possible way.

A slow moan worked its way up through Jensen as Jared shifted constantly beneath him and he slid deeper, stretching with each slow half thrust. It felt like coming home the moment he sank down into Jared, heat circling him completely, always better than anything Jensen had ever felt.

"God, Jared," he groaned as muscles clenched tight around him, holding him in place for a moment. Jensen's hand slid through Jared's hair, tilting his head back as he dipped down to crush their lips together once more.

Jared's breathing was shallow as his body adjusted to the burning fullness of Jensen's cock. _God_ , Jared loved this, the way Jensen took him and showed him how much he wanted him. He teased and pushed until he sent Jared over the edge into a delirious kind of pleasure he'd never experienced before. Moaning into Jensen's mouth Jared lurched up to wrap his arms around his boyfriend's neck, tugging, holding, hips snapping up then falling back - urging his lover on.

It felt as if there wasn't an inch of them that wasn't touching as they moved. Jensen's thrusts were closer to gentle rocks, his hips moving in small circles with each gentle glide and every quick inhale through his nose brought the scent of Jared thick and heady over his senses.

He echoed Jared's moan into his mouth, lips just barely parting to rest together as they shared breaths, skin overheated and growing damp with sweat as they moved. Jensen could feel his heart racing, thought maybe he could feel Jared's too, and the air felt almost thick and heavy settling over them. "Jared," he moaned in a soft praise, pulling all the way out and sliding slow and deep back in.

"God." Jared's voice was a half-gasped whisper. Every time Jensen thrust into him, Jared's body tightened and pleasure moved through his veins thick and heavy like honey. The muscles in his legs were trembling, his abs quivering with each thrust of Jensen's cock. Moaning, gasping out his pleasure, barely able to resist begging for more, Jared's nails dragged down Jensen's back, his eyes closing under the weight of the moment. Licking his lips slowly he sucked in a deep breath and pushed up off the mattress, thrusting his hips back _hard_ against Jensen's.

Feeling Jared's constant movement beneath him was maddening and Jensen's vision blurred for just a moment, the slow pace nearly killing him at that point. Pushing back he held himself over Jared's body, sliding back to gather his legs and hook them over his shoulders, bending his body to drive him down into the bed with a hard thrust. He spared no time letting Jared adjust to the sudden change in position, sliding back and thrusting hard forward over and over. His lips parted slick, panting harsh breath as he watched the pleasure on Jared's face at each quick thrust forward, hand sliding between them to curl fingers around Jared's cock.

Jared sucked in a harsh breath, his body aching with pain and pleasure and everything else he could imagine all at the same time. "Har-der," he gasped.

Every part of him wanted Jensen to just slam into him, _make_ Jared believe they belonged to each other. His cock jumped in his boyfriend's grasp and Jared moaned. Barely able to move his hips he dissolved into another full-body shudder and keened softly. "Jensen," he whispered.

Feeling his release already too close, Jensen sought to please Jared in every way he could. He thrust hard down into him, free hand digging into his thigh as he angled his boyfriend's body and rocked forward. Jared shuddered beneath him and Jensen gasped, head tilting back as his hips snapped forward with each steady thrust. "Fuck, Jared," he hissed, barely able to breathe, shoulders tensing as he rolled his hips on a downward thrust, hips crashing hard against Jared's skin.

A cry left Jared's lips even as he was reaching up to try and grasp at Jensen's hair. Wave after wave of pleasure ran its course through his body as Jensen's cock slammed into his prostate again and again. Drawing in a breath became almost impossible and Jared's body twisted and writhed as much as he could under his boyfriend's body. Flinging his hands up above his head he curled his fingers around the bars on the head board - hanging on as though they were going to fly off into thin air. Moaning, biting his bottom lip Jared shook, pleasure building until he couldn't fight it a moment longer. Crying out his boyfriend's name, body lurching up off the mattress, Jared came with such force his vision blurred. Hot come pulsed up his body, chest, neck and Jared felt for a few moments as though he was drifting away from everything.

Jensen was so lost in watching Jared's orgasm making his body twitch and writhe he wasn't even aware of his own until it hit. Sucking in a sharp breath he rode out the release, hips barely moving against the vice like clench Jared had around him. He moaned loudly, shoulders shaking, muscles no longer strong enough to hold him up any more. He let Jared's legs slide down from his shoulders, chest heaving once more before he nearly collapsed on Jared.

"Holy," he gasped into his boyfriend's neck, each deep inhale bringing in Jared's scent. "You're so very amazing. So... god." Jensen pressed his lips to Jared's damp skin, focusing on attempting to calm his racing heart once more.

Jared could hardly think beyond that booming of his heart in his ears. He vaguely registered prying his fingers off the headboard so he could curl his arm around Jensen's neck. He moaned softly as their bodies melted together, shifting weakly as the last twitches of his orgasm worked their way through him. "Jesus." Panting, Jared turned his head to the side, sweat-damp hair plastered to his forehead and neck.

With a soft groan Jensen pulled himself free and slid to Jared's side, rolling to his back and pulling Jared half over him, hand stroking through his hair. They laid in silence for awhile, Jensen listened to Jared's breathing return to normal, eventually mustering up the energy to grab tissue from the nightstand and wipe along Jared's chest at cooling come. He thought Jared might have fallen asleep and it made him smile, lips pressing firmly to Jared's temple. "We really need to make more time for that," he murmured, just in case Jared was still awake.

Stirring slightly, Jared's lips twitched into a slight smile. "Mmhmm." Shifting closer he wrapped himself over Jensen's body, warm and safe, calm and happy.

"Love you," Jensen whispered and closed his eyes, feeling a thousand times more relaxed than he had an hour ago.

-=-=-=-

There was a possibility that Jensen had been putting this moment off. In fact, he hadn't even seen Chad since he found out about Stephanie's pregnancy but he blamed it on work more than anything else. He wasn't intimidated by the man or anything, Chad would never even dream of harming him, but he couldn't quite escape the fact that Chad knew Jensen had Stephanie's back on this situation. That was bound to create some level of tension.

"I promise to be on my best behavior," Jensen said quietly as they stepped up to Chad's door, looking toward Jared as his mouth opened. "If that's what you were going to say. I won't even bring it up until they do first, okay?"

Brow furrowed, Jared shook his head. "I'm pretty sure no one's gonna bring _it_ up." Sighing Jared rapped once on the door before opening it. He wasn't entirely sure how comfortable the evening was going to be. Things had been strained between the two couples since the day Stephanie had first gone to Jensen for support.

Jared was a bit lost as to how he felt about everything. There were times when he wished that Chad had been more responsible but it was hard for Jared to blame Chad. Chad had been raised in a _far_ different world than Jensen and Stephanie - a world where Chad wasn't responsible for anything. There was always a companion around to take care of things for him. It was a big leap from that to having to be the one taking care of Stephanie.

Forcing a smile on his face as they moved into the other couple's apartment Jared called out to his friend. "Chad! Your favorite gays are here."

"Oh thank god," Stephanie mumbled as walked passed them, not stopping to explain her statement.

Jensen exchanged an uncertain look with Jared before shrugging. He had to act a different way in Chad's home, usually it wouldn't matter if he spoke to Stephanie in private but he made a point of always judging Chad's mood before he did so.

"Stephanie, I didn't-" Chad came around the corner, sighing heavily and running a hand through lengthening blond hair. "Sup guys, come on in. I need a fuckin' drink, how about you?" Chad turned, heading for the bar in the living room.

Jared shot a look at Jensen and shrugged as he headed over to help Chad. "I'll take a drink. How's it going?" Chad looked tired, and a bit worn. Obviously things were still a little off between him and Stephanie.

"Fine, whatever." Chad huffed and poured two drinks, offering one to Jared and dropping down on the couch. "She had her first doctor's appointment today. Couldn't hide the pregnancy of course because she wouldn't fucking lie about it for just a little while longer while I figured some shit out."

Jensen shifted slightly just inside the living room, shoulders tensing. "It would have been painful for her to lie," he reasoned quietly, arms folding over his chest then dropping when Jared looked over at him. "And they would have noticed right away. I believe they screen all women for pregnancy."

"What the fuck ever, now they want decisions and shit I hate the way they can't wait for anything." Chad groaned and shook his head. "Fucking Purity."

Sighing, Jared sat down beside his friend. "So, Chad. What's gonna happen now? Did the doctor give you any information?" Part of Jared wondered what really there was to figure out. Stephanie was pregnant, they were having a baby.

"He wants to talk to me with Stephanie not around." Chad said quietly and looked up toward Jensen then back over at Jared. "Not really her choice in his eyes you know? So he wanted me to know options. They were what I'd heard. You know, give her back to Purity with the baby. Or just give the baby back. Either way they don't recommend keeping the child. You know, it'd be kind of like, half breed or something. Don't think they'd even use it as a Companion if they took it."

Jensen blinked and his shoulders felt tense, words bubbling up until he couldn't help the slight scoff. "Wow. Your level of compassion is truly, remarkable." He pushed away from the wall, relieved he'd never sat and turned. "I'll help Stephanie finish dinner." He left the room without looking back.

"Right." Chad nodded slowly and glanced toward Jared, shrugging once more. "Used to pissing people off now-a-days."

Jared was a little shocked. "Jesus Christ Chad, can you try and talk about the baby like it's a human being and not a growth? Half-breed? The _doctor_ used the word half-breed?" Jared didn't believe it for a moment.

"Well, no, not exactly." Chad winced and looked up at Jared, sighing in irritation. "It's... easier. To talk about it like that. I haven't changed my mind Jared, I don't want the baby, there's no use getting attached in anyways. And I don't want Stephanie getting attached either, I just... I can't. You know?"

Shaking his head slowly, Jared turned so he could watch Chad's face. "No, Chad. I don't think I do know. I mean, I don't really want a kid either but _God_ this is tearing Stephanie apart. I see it, Jensen sees it and I know that _you_ see it. Have you asked her what she wants? Honestly. Sat down with her and really encouraged her to tell you the truth?"

"I tried Jared but she fucking knows what I want. Even if she wanted to keep the kid she'd never tell me. Hell, for all I know she doesn't even want to be here anymore." Chad dug his hands into his hair and growled. "Let's just not talk about this shit any more. I'm sick of it being the center of ever conversation. It's like the only fucking time I get any peace is when I'm drunk. Which isn't often enough."

"That's kinda running away from it don't you think?" Jared slid his untouched drink onto the table in front of him.

"There's no fucking running away from it Jared." Chad rounded on him, eyes narrowing. "It's glaring me right in the face every time I see Stephanie. Trust me. I know there's no escaping so really, come on, just give me a break alright?"

Blinking a few times, Jared sat back against the couch. "You could keep the baby you know. There are people you can hire to come and look after them. It's not like it would change your life that much except that the woman who's in love with you would be happy." Jared couldn't look at the fury in Chad's eyes so he dropped his gaze to his hands.

"I don't want a kid. I'd be a shit father. Hell Jared, I can't even fuckin' take care of myself and I can admit that. Maybe one day years from now, I'll think about it. Right now though? No. No kid. Not to mention getting disowned by my family for the whole fucking thing." Chad groaned and slid his hands through his hair. "How do you know she wants the kid? Stephanie say something about it?"

"No. She didn't. I'm just guessing." Jared shrugged. "What about her? Are you going to send her away?" Even asking that question was hard for Jared. He could still see so clearly in his mind the day the Doctor had taken Jensen away from him. It still hurt.

"What?" Chad looked at Jared, surprised for the first time. "Jesus. Fuck no. Jared, she's my- god. She's my whole fucking world, why would I send her away?"

"Does she know that?"

"Of course she does," Chad waved his hand dismissively and drained his drink, pushing up to his feet. "Hey look man, you know I appreciate the help or whatever but seriously, we keep talking about this and I might literally punch you. So, fair warning and all."

"Wow. Okay." Jared folded his arms across his chest and glanced over at the kitchen. "Maybe I should go and help in the kitchen too."

"Dude, come on, give me a fucking break here." Chad groaned and shook his head. "You think I don't feel like shit about this whole thing? God you fucking know me, I didn't have a job for the first year I lived here, I don't even know how to make a meal myself, what the hell am I supposed to do? I really could use a fucking break."

"Look, Chad. You know I've got your back. I'm the one who gets that, Matthew and Nicole practically raised me, they did everything for us. They cooked and cleaned, helped us with homework and explained things to us that our parents didn't have time for. I get it. I really do - but this- it's like what happened with me and Jensen. I fucked up, it was _my_ fuck up - not his. He was doing what he was raised to do and I knocked us all out of kilter. You're doing the same thing. This isn't _her_ fault and you talk like it's something she should have taken care of. Maybe it's time for us to grow up a bit Chad, did you ever think of that?"

Chad looked at Jared for a long moment before sighing and turning away. "Yeah man, whatever. You're boyfriend's rubbing off a little too much on you." Chad smiled at Jared, almost apologetic and shrugged. "I'm trying. That's all I can do."

"My _boyfriend_ is really fond of your- Stephanie." Jared smiled sadly. Chad and Steph's world was so different from his and Jensen's. Maybe easier in some ways but harder in so many.

"Yeah I know. She's fond of him too. Glad she's not alone for this." Chad drained his drink and set his glass down on the counter, clapping his hands together loud once. "Let's go check on dinner."

Pushing up off the couch, Jared trailed behind Chad into the kitchen.

Jensen glanced toward the door as the two men entered and his arms fell to the side, Stephanie instantly stepping back from the hug and turning toward the counter. He could see Chad's steps hesitate for just a moment before he crossed to the table and dropped down with a heavy sigh. "Food's almost ready," he said as cheerfully as possible and handed Jared a stack of plates and a handful of silverware, looking at him curiously.

Jared shook his head slightly and headed over to begin setting the table. "Stephanie, how are you feeling?" The forks he was putting on the table seemed to be making an extraordinarily loud noise in the room. Chad's shoulders had sagged the moment he sat down and Jensen looked nervous. All in all it didn't look like the makings of a nice pleasant dinner.

"A little nauseated but well for the most part. What about you Jared? Jensen mentioned the cafe is really busy, that must be a relief to know things are going so well." Stephanie answered easily though Jensen was sure Jared could hear the note of sadness in her voice. It was pretty standard now. "Chad showed me pictures of your latest work, it's beautiful as usual."

"Jared is nothing but the best," Jensen said softly, squeezing Jared's arm as he moved to help Stephanie dish up the food.

Smiling up at Jensen, Jared turned his attention back to Stephanie. "I'm glad you liked my stuff, you haven't been down to the gallery in a while Steph. You should come down and I'll show you around now that it's settled down a bit."

"I'd like that." Stephanie nodded, smiling softly as she and Jensen settled the food on the table.

Jensen watched for a moment as she hesitated then rested her hand for just a moment on Chad's shoulder before taking the seat next to him. His eyes turned down to Jared and he knew he'd seen as well. It was just one of those things, the way Stephanie and Chad loved each other, Jensen could understand most of it, minus their new complication. "Jared's done a great job getting it all sorted out and organized, and I don't even have an eye for art."

Stephanie smiled a little more; she looked relieved to have them there, maybe something to ease the tension of the apartment and began dishing up a plate of food for Chad. "I don't know much about-"

"I can do that myself you know." Chad interrupted her, sitting up in his chair. "I mean, you don't have to dish up my plate, I can handle that."

"Oh I just," Stephanie's actions hesitated, tongs half full of salad and hesitating between his plate and the bowl. "I'm sorry." She whispered and set the tongs back in bowl, pushing it toward Chad.

"Chad," Jared's voice was soft. "How about I dish up for everyone? Jensen's always saying I need to learn to be more graceful if I'm going to work at the cafe." Standing, Jared pulled the dish over and started heaping salad onto everyone's plates.

Jensen was relieved that Jared took over the situation. He hated the way Stephanie kept her eyes down on the table, shoulders hunched. "He's nowhere near as bad as Amanda," Jensen added, keeping up with the distraction. "That girl, she can't take two steps without knocking something over or running into someone. It's a disease she has."

"I just meant I should do things for myself." Chad went on as if they hadn't spoken about anything else. "I've got to _grow up_ , right Jared? So I should serve up my own food. I can get a slave pregnant I can serve the meal." Chad pushed up from the table and left the room quickly, muttering something about getting a drink.

"Jesus," Jensen murmured, looking over at Jared then back at Stephanie.

"He's really struggling with everything." Stephanie whispered, shrugging slowly.

" _That_ is no excuse for being an asshole." Jared stood stop quickly his chair skidded back behind him and he strode out of the room after Chad.

"Okay, Chad do you remember when Jensen and I were having trouble and you basically told me what an asshole I was ... well, consider the favor returned. I can't fucking believe how you're behaving. Stephanie is not a _God_ damned slave. You love her!" Jared found it hard to believe that Chad couldn't even acknowledge that to himself.

"Don't tell me how I feel Jared. This isn't the fucking same thing. For one, Jensen's not going to have a baby, which is a hell of a lot more noticeable than you two fucking or whatever so, just lay off. Steph knows how I feel. I think I just need to get out for awhile. Need a fucking vacation away from the baby talk and all that shit."

"Maybe she should just come and stay with us where things are calm and she'll be okay." Jared ran his hands through his hair. "I can't fucking believe this. You don't get a vacation from a god damn baby Chad. Jesus Christ." Jared strode over to his friend and snatched at the glass in his hand. "And stop with the drowning your sorrows shit because it's not accomplishing anything."

"She is not yours to take Jared, don't you fucking play your stupid self righteous crap with me." Chad scowled at him and shook his head. "If you're suggesting I would do something to hurt Stephanie then you better get the fuck out of my house because I won't tolerate that shit."

"You're _hurting_ her by being like this. Can't you see that? For _fuck_ sakes Chad, you don't have to hit her to hurt her and you damn well know that." Staring at Chad for a few moments, Jared ran a hand down his face. "What is _wrong_ with you, Chad? This isn't the end of the world. It's a baby..."

"Are you fucking stupid Jared? Do you understand what the hell it would mean if she and I had a baby?" Chad hissed, voice rising slightly as he stepped toward Jared. "My parents would _disown_ me, how would I even provide for her and a child? Not to mention the _shame_ that would come to both her and I. People are going to see her Jared, with her fucking bracelet and a baby that's clearly her own, and that's it. I'd never be able to find a suitable wife for a normal family because I got my fucking slave _pregnant_. What aren't you getting about this?"

Anger bubbled up in Jared's chest. What with the asshole at the cafe calling Jensen names and Chad insinuating that Stephanie was _less_ than another woman might be. Hauling his arm back he let a punch fly. Chad ducked at the just the right moment and stumbled backwards into the coffee table.

"Enough." Jensen stepped quickly into the room, sliding in front of Jared and backing up against him. Chad looked like he was about to swing back and, though Jensen would have been quite satisfied to see Jared punch Chad, he'd rather no one get hurt. "Stop this. Stop it. Listen Chad, I understand how difficult this is for you; I know you think I don't but I can at least get parts of it. But you need to stop talking like this, it's not fair to Stephanie and despite what she may be, I know you don't see her like the rest of the world does. You don't want to hurt her, I know it."

"You know Jensen; just because you don't wear the bracelet anymore doesn't really give you the right to tell me what to do. You are what you'll always be, and that's just the same as Stephanie, you aren't normal, you don't come from this world. So get the fuck off my back and go back to the kitchen where you belong." Chad narrowed his eyes, face slightly flushed and shoulders tense.

"Chad, don't you _ever_ speak to my boyfriend like that again. I'm gonna forgive you this once because you're fucked up and stupid. But Jensen is the same as me, the same as you and that is _so_ not okay. You know, Chad. You've been a lot of things over the years but I never thought you were cruel." Shaking, fists clenched at his sides, Jared leaned down and spoke to Jensen. "I can't stay here. If you need to stay I understand that but I've gotta go. I don't - I can't be in a place where you're not respected." Jared took a couple of steps back and bumped into the sofa.

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Jensen slowly nodded and kept his eyes on Chad. "You deserve whatever fate comes to you." He muttered quietly and shook his head, turning to hold his hand out for Jared.

"Wait, guys, come on, I'm sorry, I didn't mean. It was just a- fuck, come on." Chad groaned and dropped down on the couch heavily.

Jensen ignored Chad and pulled Jared with him down the hall. He was trying not to fume, trying not to be hurt by the words. It was one thing to hear it from a random stranger but someone who was supposed to be their _friend_. His eyes landed on Stephanie in the doorway of the kitchen, eyes slightly wide. "I'm sorry Stephanie, we have to go. But I'll call you soon, I promise. And if anything happens, anything at all, you can come to us. Right Jared?" Jensen glanced back at his boyfriend with wide eyes.

Nodding, Jared smiled shakily at Stephanie. "Always, Stephanie. I promise." Jared looked away, feeling like there wasn't a single thing he could do to make things any better.

"I'm really sorry; he shouldn't have said those things." Stephanie whispered.

Jensen knew there was no use telling her not to worry about it. At that point he just wanted to get out of the house and he felt guilty leaving Stephanie but there was only so much they could do and they'd reached the limit.

"Are you okay?" He asked Jared as they stepped outside, reaching out to touch his side softly.

"No. I'm not okay." Jared headed straight toward the car without waiting for Jensen. Everything was getting to be too much. The cafe, their lives changing so much, Stephanie being pregnant and now his best friend and he had fought like they never had before.

Sighing softly, Jensen shook his head and followed Jared to the car. He'd never forgive Chad is he somehow damaged things between Jared and himself.


	4. Chapter 4

"Jared." Jensen sighed and leaned against the wall, watching Jared dragging charcoal almost angrily across the canvas in front of him. He'd been quiet for a solid hour since returning from Chad's and no amount of Jensen prodding had gotten him to speak. "I'm starting to feel like you're mad at me here. Please, talk to me." He understood the agitation, hell, Chad had directed the words specifically at him but Chad as Jared's best friend, the one he'd known the longest, and the insulting words were likely to hurt Jared more.

"What do you want me to say?" Jared dropped his charcoal on the easel and yanked the paper down to tear it into pieces. "That my best friend just pointed out to me quite succinctly how things are never going to change? You're always going to have to deal with shit like that and then so do I?"

Shoving the easel aside Jared tugged his t-shirt off over his head and wiped his hands on it. "Or, that I'm worried about Stephanie and I've never doubted Chad in my entire life. Never before this and now I feel like I don't know him."

Rubbing along the back of his neck for a moment Jensen frowned then pushed off the wall, crossing to Jared and laying his hand gently on the man's shoulder blade. "Jared, imagine our situation before, only multiplied be a thousand because there's a whole other person's life involved with this. Some helpless little baby and even if Chad is being a complete and total douche, he has to have thought of that at least." Jensen wanted to step in closer to Jared but wasn't sure if the man was up for physical contact. "And, Chad's not like you. You've always seen Companion's as more than just, slaves. You've always been more open minded. Chad's not quite that great."

"I wish Stephanie had never gotten pregnant and right now? I just can't wait for Purity to take that baby away so everything can settle down." Jared's shoulders dropped, hands clenched tight in the balled up material of his t-shirt.

Blinking slowly, Jensen dropped his hand and stepped back, shoulders tensing. "Do you have any idea what Purity will do to that baby Jared? Do you know what happens to the Pure people if they're not deemed worthy of being a Companion? Sure, if their looks are appealing enough they'll be birth mother's, but. God. Did you really think all Companions came out naturally looking attractive?" Jensen took another step back, shaking his head as his arms folded over his chest.

"You said they'd - I don't understand." Jared turned to face his boyfriend. "You said they'd take the baby and raise it - and it would become a companion. You said - I mean, like you right? You turned out fine." Jared's head was aching; his eyes hurting and he just wanted the day to be over.

"I had thought that was the case but, Stephanie said, when she was in the doctor's office he explained to her that the baby couldn't be a Companion because Chad was the father." Jensen sighed and slowly shook his head once more. "Which doesn't dismiss the fact that you, who claim to have all these abhorrent thoughts regarding Purity, would even advocate Stephanie and Chad's _child_ going there. Their baby would likely become something we're not meant to talk about. A part of Purity we are never meant to discuss." Jensen leaned back against the wall and shrugging, trying not to be disturbed with how easy it was to group himself in the _we_ once more, as if he still was.

"What, Jensen? What are you saying?" The fact that Jensen said _we_ wasn't lost on Jared and he felt again that things would _never_ change. "You tell me, right now."

There was a hierarchy in Jensen's world, or his old world. The ladder of people in which secrets were kept and truths were revealed. As if should be, the Master was the priority. But, what most of the world didn't know was Purity reigned supreme. Jensen was so trained in the ways of keeping Purity's secrets, it had never even occurred to him to tell Jared. But then, Jared never knew to ask.

"We're not supposed to talk about the inner workings. Just, Jared, you know how Purity is always releasing new medications, better than the ones before, tested and proven to be a perfect fit for human's safety and health. Well, they have to test those somehow." Jensen dropped his voice in a whisper, as if they could hear him even in the safety of his apartment. He felt _horrible_ saying these things, revealing secrets he'd never been meant too.

"When the Pure are, eight or nine, somewhere around there, they begin the testing. You have to meet a certain qualification level and if you don't, then, you're taken away. You sent as volunteers for that testing. There are five series of tests before you reach eighteen, only those as close to perfect make it through."

"Sent away?" Jared's voice broke as he asked the question. "What the _fuck_ does that mean in Purity-speak?" His eyes narrowed and he took a step closer to Jensen. "I can't believe you kept this from me."

"We're not supposed to tell. Most of us aren't even meant to know." Jensen defended and flattened himself against the wall, dropping his gaze. "I only know because, when I was sixteen I had this friend, Darrel. He didn't pass the testing series and they took him away. I was very upset and I managed to get my resident teacher to tell me where he went. They test those medicines on them Jared. They make them sick and give them shots to try and make them better. They are, they might as well be, lab rats. They're lab rats Jared and that's what Chad and Stephanie's baby will be." He felt the pinch in his chest from lying to Jared, the harsh skip of his heart at the idea he'd somehow betrayed his lover.

"And you defended this company to me? You told me that you believed in what Purity did." Jared's eyes widened and he stepped back almost as though struck. He couldn't believe what Jensen was telling him. Basically, the corporation that Jensen still felt such a strong connection to was killing people.

"They're all I know. They are my family, or were, before." Jensen looked once up at Jared, then back down at the look on Jared's face. "There's one thing in supporting the corporation that had saved hundreds of thousands of lives Jared, hating them will do nothing because they'll always be around. But that just, it doesn't mean I want Chad to send Stephanie off to Purity with the child." He shrugged helplessly, waiting for the next blow.

"They kill children." Jared took another step back and threw his shirt at the wall. "I can't believe you kept that from me, Jensen." Jared couldn't see beyond the fact that everything in his life was being turned upside by Stephanie's pregnancy. Heading into the living room Jared slammed the top of the bar up and poured a drink.

"Taking life lessons from Chad?" Jensen snarled, blinking the moment the words were out, surprised at himself. He hesitated just outside the living room and frowned, slowly shaking his head. "I apologize for not giving you all the details about the only world I ever knew Jared. Would you like to hear them all? Would you like to learn what it's like to be three years old and know you're alone in the middle of the night no matter how you might cry? Or maybe what it was like to be eighteen and not placed and watch person after person go and think you're _nothing_ because this is all you were meant to be and you can't even handle that. Do you want all those details? Or will it just make you even angrier at me for something I can't help either way?"

Jared shook his head slowly. "Don't. Jensen. I'm warning you. I'm not in the mood for this." Setting his glass down on the bar Jared pressed the heels of his palms hard into his eyes.

"Fine. Sorry." Jensen shook his head and stepped away from the door. "Have a good night Jared." He turned and headed down the hallway, heart sinking with each step. Jensen was almost shaking as he stepped into their bedroom, tugging his drawers open to pointlessly sort through.

The day had started out okay. Jared had been hesitant about the idea of going over to Chad and Stephanie's for dinner but that had proved to be a good instinct. But now, he was exhausted, confused, and felt almost like Jensen had shut him out of part of his life. A part of his life that was incredibly significant. It made him realize that there was still a part of Jensen that was very much living as _Purity_ had made him. There could be a lot of excuses as to why Jensen had never spoken of the testing before, of children disappearing, but it was only because he'd been directed not to. Jared couldn't help wondering if there were other things that he wasn't being told.

Closing the lid to the bar quietly Jared turned and made his way back down the hallway. Pausing in the door to their bedroom he leaned against the door frame, hands jammed in his pockets. "I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. I apologize."

"It's fine." Jensen said quietly, keeping his back to Jared as he sorted through his drawers. "I shouldn't have kept something from you. It won't happen again." The reply was automatic even with a year of being _normal_. Appease Jared, make things better, he knew the role and he hated seeing Jared upset, it was easy.

"Will you ever really be yourself around me?" Jared felt his heart break a little bit and leaned his head against the doorframe. This reminded him of when Jensen first arrived; how he always was the one to smooth ruffled feathers, calm Jared down.

Turning to Jared, Jensen clenched his jaw and slowly shook his head. "All this time and you still don't get it. I _am_ being myself Jared. This is all I am. There is no buried persona somewhere under the surface. I was created for one sole purpose and raised to fulfill that. I'm sorry it's not enough for you but I have only ever been one way with you." Trying to shrug off the tense line in his shoulders, Jensen headed for the door and brushed past Jared, heading for the library room across the hall.

Jared sighed and turned to follow Jensen. When he peered around the corner into the Library Jensen was organizing books, pulling them off the shelves and re-arranging them. "Jensen, come to bed. I'm sorry. This whole thing - I'm terrified that - that I'm gonna fuck everything up. Chad's my best friend and I don't even know if I lost him tonight and Stephanie - you threw all that stuff at me. I didn't know that they would. That she would be in danger. The baby. And I try _so_ hard to understand you, Stephanie, the way you were raised but I think you're wrong. You're _more_ than what they raised you to be. If you were only what they bred into you - you would never have stood up to Chad like that. _Never_. And you wouldn't care so much about this baby. Just don't - don't shut me out because I can't take it." Rubbing his eyes, Jared stared at Jensen's back.

Sighing softly, Jensen stared down at the books in his hand through tear blurred eyes before looking back up. "I don't understand Jared. I don't know why you think I'm hiding some part of myself from you. I always try to be everything I am for you." Wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand Jensen shrugged and shuffled in place. "Chad will forgive you, and you'll forgive Chad. You won't lose him as your best friend. You don't have to fix their problems for them, you just, keep trying. It's all you can do." Whenever he and Jared disagreed he felt unsure, uncomfortable in his skin and now he couldn't meet Jared's gaze.

"You know you're not just ... some Purity creation right? You know you're more than that?" Jared took a step closer, blinking slowly.

"If I am, it's only because of you." Jensen said in a soft whisper and found himself stepping toward Jared. "If I'd been sent to any other Possessor, I would never be the person I am now. You make me that way Jared, and before you, I really was just some Purity creation. Like, I don't know, a blank slate."

"I don't believe that." Jared shook his head slowly and reached out to curl his arm around Jensen's neck and pull him up against his chest. "You were all there all the time. Now. Please? Come to bed? I'm exhausted and I just want to hold you in my arms and fall asleep." He pulled back a little to look at Jensen. "Is that okay?"

"Aren't we supposed to have make up sex?" Jensen suggested with a small smile, arm looping around Jared's body. "Also, for the record, you're a wonderful friend Jared. Most friends would have given up on Chad awhile ago."

"He's been good to me too. Let's not forget who really got you and I together. Hell, he did it twice." Jared laughed softly and tugged Jensen toward their bedroom. "Bed."

Jensen sighed and let Jared lead him into the bedroom, feeling the comfort of the man's touch. When they were inside the room he turned to work at Jared's waistline, undressing him because he could and it also brought a certain level of comfort. "I love you Jared, with everything I am." He murmured and pressed a soft kiss to Jared's lips as he pushed his jeans down.

"I know," Jared whispered. He smiled and stepped out of his clothes then pulled Jensen's t-shirt off over his head. "We have to get up early." Jensen's eyes looked calmer, more relaxed than when they'd first got back. Jared just felt drained.

"We usually do." Jensen said softly and reached up to touch Jared's cheek, frowning slightly. "You should take tomorrow off. Do something that will make you feel good. Your eyes look so very sad and I don't like it."

"What makes me feel good is being with you." Leaning forward Jared pressed his lips to Jensen's and sighed. "Bed. That's about as close to an order as I can get." Smiling he tugged at Jensen's belt until his boyfriend could step out of his jeans.

They climbed into bed, meeting in the middle, arms sliding over each other's bodies.

Jared inhaled deeply, nestling close to Jensen's body. "Do you think Steph's okay?"

"I think she's scared. But she's strong too." Jensen frowned slightly and stroked a hand through Jared's hair, wondering if Stephanie and Chad would take up so much of their lives through her entire pregnancy. He felt guilty for being so selfish a moment later so he shook the thoughts away. "She doesn't want the baby Jared. Not if it means giving up Chad. I think, maybe she just doesn't feel like she'd be an adequate mother or something."

"God, this whole thing is so messed up." Jared buried his face in Jensen's neck, fingers moving over his boyfriend's skin. "I'll call Chad tomorrow," he murmured. "No more talking tonight."

-=-=-=-

There was hardly a moment that could be considered calm in the weeks following Jensen and Jared's fight. Jensen felt like things were constantly on shaky ground. Countless days of working blurred together into a large mass of caffeine and pastries.

Jared and Chad patched things up after a week of not talking, taking a day to hang out on the town and do normal things for awhile. After that Jensen thought things were better between them, Chad even apologized to Jensen when they came back and Jensen showed he was forgiven by giving him a free drink and cookie.

However much improved things were with Jared and Chad, it didn't seem like much peace had been made between Stephanie and Chad. Though it wasn't exactly that way. Jensen understood. Stephanie wasn't really designed to be angry with Chad, so mostly she remained sad. And it was pretty clear Chad didn't know how to handle that. He started coming to the cafe more until finally Jensen caved and hired him, insisting if he was going to be there, he might as well pull his own weight.

Jensen went with Stephanie to her next check up. The doctor gave him uncertain looks but never asked, not knowing what Jensen had once been. After all, the bare line on Jensen's wrists had long since evened out with tanned skin and now it went unnoticed. Being there with her was not something Jensen had ever planned, especially when they said at ten weeks Stephanie could have her first ultrasound.

The baby was nothing but a tiny little alien shape on the screen, but Jensen could see the little pulse of his heart, could hear it whooshing from the speakers and his heart lurched. It wasn't something Jensen had planned on experiencing, the churn in his stomach, and the anticipation of finding out what sex the baby was or how it would look when Stephanie gave birth. Jensen had never considered having children, he'd had no reason to, but when they left the appointment his mind was spinning.

Stephanie wasn't smiling, had even said no to the doctor's offer for the ultra sound picture and Jensen watched her from the corner of his eye along the drive, thoughtful and quiet. "If you didn't love Chad, or, if he were married, if this was just some crazy thing that happened, would you want to keep the baby?" Jensen asked softly, eyes staying fixed to the road.

It didn't seem like the question surprised Stephanie. "Jensen, I love Chad. You understand that. I love him with all my heart but, I don't want a baby. I realize how horrible that makes me sound, and I don't mean to be that way, but. What would I know about being a mother? How could I feel that without a mother's influence to guide me? How can I even entertain the idea of bringing a child into this world when he or she would spend their whole life never really belonging? You understand Jensen, not knowing your place. I will always be a Companion and Chad will always be my Possessor, hopefully. This child would never be able to bring friend's home without them knowing, they would grow up with a distorted view of the world and how could I do that?"

Jensen was surprised, this time, to hear Stephanie's words. She had clearly given a lot of thought to the matter, probably spent hours turning over all this information to reach her conclusion. And she was right. Any child belonging to Chad and Stephanie would have a very difficult life unless Stephanie managed to no longer be a Companion. But the option hadn't even been brought up and Jensen wasn't foolish enough to suggest it. It worked for him and Jared but not everyone was willing to make that kind of sacrifice.

So he took Stephanie home with a whole new assortment of thoughts swirling in his mind. Stephanie's rational made sense and Chad didn't want the child either, so it looked like he would be sent to Purity. They would continue their lives, move on, but there would be some kid in some secluded home being subjected to illnesses and poked and prodded to make the world a better place. It had never been in Jensen's nature to dislike Purity, to _hate_ them, but at the moment, he did.

-=-=-=-

Stephanie started showing around four months. Being so thin, it was almost impossible for her not to but baggy clothes were doing the trick to cover it, mostly. Jensen, on the other hand, was growing rather fond of the idea of having the pregnant girl around. It was something to distract his mind during the still crazy work hours, something to fill the void when he lay awake late at night listening to Jared snoring softly beside him and trying to force himself to sleep as well.

Chad was turning out to be a fairly decent worker and on more than one occasion he brought Stephanie with him. They didn't seem to be healed by any means but Jensen liked to think they were at least getting there. He figured Stephanie must have sat Chad down at some point and told him she was not planning on keeping the child. Jensen sometimes saw the worry in her eyes when he brought her tuna sandwiches - because he read some tuna was good for the child's growth - and large glasses of milk. He never let her drink coffee or have too many sweets, and he ignored any looks Chad or Jared gave him when he fussed over the girl.

There had been a thought sparking in Jensen's mind for weeks now and he'd considered talking to Jared about it but never could find the right time. There were likely other things to cover first, things that would make their relationship stronger and better, and Jensen knew it had to take the first priority.

"I'm going to go with Stephanie to her ultra sound appointment next week," Jensen said, bent over the tray of puff pastries, squeezing cream slowly along the center so Jared could come along and place the top piece on. "It's on Wednesday, so I'm going to have Chad working main register with Amanda, do you think you can cover the food prep stuff for me?" It wasn't how he wanted to start the conversation but he was kind of nervous about it so it would work for now.

"I guess so." Jared leaned closer and set the centers on the pastries. "Just don't get mad if I screw something up." Jared smiled and watched as Jensen worked.

"I promise I won't. And I'll be in the morning to make all the hard stuff, so really, it should be easy." Jensen pushed back from the trays and turned to Jared, leaning his hip on the metal counter. When Jared looked over at him, Jensen grinned and squeezed a small dollop of cream onto Jared's nose. "Oops." He laughed softly and caught Jared's shirt in his grip, pulling him close to slide the cream off with his tongue. "Mm. Tasty."

Grinning, Jared raised an eyebrow. " _You_ planned that all along." Grabbing Jensen's hips he pulled his boyfriend closer. "You're in a good mood." Things had been a lot better between them in the last month or so, calmer, Jared almost felt like their lives were going back to normal.

"I am. I was thinking, maybe we could take this weekend off. Weirdly enough, I trust Chad to run things around here, he could use the hours as we know and Stephanie can help out as well, under the table payment of course." Jensen shrugged, knowing in most places it wouldn't fly but it would be good for Stephanie to be active. "Plus Chad seems to have worked wonders with Amanda, she's hardly spilling anything at all and... have I done enough to convince you?" He grinned up at Jared, fingers sliding just under the man's shirt, grazing along his skin.

"A whole weekend? Just you and me?" Jared's eyes widened. He couldn't remember the last time that he and Jensen had had more than about twelve hours together and often that was time they spent sleeping. He wasn't entirely sure he had the same faith as Jensen when it came to Chad running the place but he was prepared to overlook it.

"Yeah. We'll stick around the apartment in case they need us but, I could use the break and so could you." Jensen smiled softly and stroked Jared's hipbone, leaning harder into him and dipping close to whisper. "We could spend the entire time naked. I'll even let you win at video games." He smirked and nuzzled into Jared's neck, further persuading in case it was needed.

"God, yes," Jared murmured. Pressing up hard against Jensen he ducked his head down and licked his way into his boyfriend's mouth. There hadn't been nearly enough time for them to be alone together, touching, holding, and talking. Jared couldn't quite believe it was true.

Moaning softly Jensen wrapped his arms around Jared and held him close, enjoying the little sparks just kissing him sent through him. His hand slid through Jared's hair and he wished for a moment that they were alone so he could just spread Jared out right here on the counter. "Marry me," he gasped into the kiss, not intending to say it like that, just then, but it worked.

"What?" Jared laughed softly and pulled back a little. "You know I'll marry you - Mom's working on the ceremony." He mouthed his way along his boyfriend's jaw line.

"I know." Jensen murmured through soft pants, head falling back. "I just, want it to happen now. Soon. Really soon. I want to be Jensen Padalecki because, it's not some made up last name, and then we'll really, officially, belong to each other." He moaned when Jared's lips hit a sensitive part along his neck, rocking up against Jared's body.

"Soon, it'll be soon." Jared's lips moved on his boyfriend's neck. Moaning softly, Jared slid his hands down over Jensen's ass. "We're gonna get in trouble... doing this." Sucking in a breath as their hips ground together, Jared let his head fall to the side.

"Come on." Jensen pulled back and grabbed Jared's hand, glancing once over his shoulder before dragging him through the backroom to Jared's private art room. They had set up the security to let no one besides Jared or Jensen in with the press of a finger on the reader so it was safe with the added thrill still there. Jensen had thought about sex with Jared here before but never acted on it, certainly not in the middle of the work day but there was no way he could face everyone now, being so thoroughly turned on.

He dragged Jared into the room, pushing him up against the door the moment it clicked shut and pressing into his space. His lips slid against Jared's as his hands pushed up under the fabric of Jared's shirt, fingers spreading across the muscles, pinching at Jared's nipples, hips rolling forward for friction. Jensen broke the kiss long enough to pull Jared's shirt off before descending on him once more.

Jared's head fall back against the door, his hands grasping at Jensen's body. It felt like it had been a long time since Jensen had wanted him like this, urgent, rough and Jared's heart leaped in his chest. _God_ he wanted Jensen - so much - so quickly. "I-" Jensen's mouth was on his again; those full lips sliding over his slick and fast. Whimpering Jared slipped down the door a little, hands scratching at Jensen's shirt to pull it open.

There was no way to be sure how their clothing got off. Jensen recalled his hands on Jared's waistline then it was all Jared's lips against his own, swallowing moans as clothing gently whooshed to the floor. He groaned at the first touch of his cock against Jared's, bodies sliding together slick and familiar. No matter how much time had passed he would never get tired of this.

"God, I want you," Jensen gasped into Jared's mouth and pulled him back from the door. They stumbled backwards, lips still colliding, tongues tangling as he turned them to the smooth work bench. Reaching behind Jared he pushed brushes and paint tubs out of the way before curling his fingers around the back of Jared's thighs and pushing him up onto the table, moaning into the kiss when Jared's legs spread instantly for him to step between.

Jared moaned, shifting closer so he could wrap his legs around Jensen's waist. "Fuck, you gotta-" his breath caught in his chest as their cocks slid together and his hips snapped forward. Jensen was hot, pushing, tugging at Jared's body and positioning exactly where he wanted him. The room was filled with the sounds of the gasps, moans, something was rolling across the floor and Jared's lashes fluttered down to his cheeks.

"I gotta what?" Jensen panted, voice deep and lust laced. He was pretty sure he knew already, Jared wanted him just as badly. Pulling back, Jensen looked around them for anything that could be used as lube. He snagged a bottle of lotion Jared often used once he washed his hands, it was unscented and maybe not the best choice but he didn't come to work with lube in his pockets - though now he might put a bottle in here just to be safe.

Sucking at Jared's neck, Jensen slicked his fingers and pulled Jared toward him, leaning him back slightly to get a better angle. His first finger slid easily in so he added a second immediately, pulling back from Jared's neck to watch the expression on his boyfriend's face. "This what you want Jared? Want me to fuck you right here?" Jensen's body shuddered with the words, giving away how very much he wanted exactly that.

Falling back on his hands Jared moaned, hips circling down against his boyfriend's fingers. "Yes, here. Now." Jared's expression darkened, eyes narrowing as he curved his body up off the table. "Fuck me, right here." He shuddered as the air hissed out of his lungs and his nails scratched down Jensen's chest. Every time he saw the table he'd remember the feeling - the way Jensen was looking at him. The way Jensen _needed_ him, needed his body.

Panting, Jared shifted back, "wait, God." Pulling off Jensen's fingers he rolled over so he was lying across the table, chest pressed against the warm wood. "Like this," he moaned, "please." His voice broke as he gasped for air, fingers hooking over the edge of the table. His feet dropped down to the floor and he spread his legs wider, spine bowing up as the anticipation of it nearly made him come.

"Jesus." Jensen groaned at the sight of Jared spread out like this, bent over the table, so eager and _waiting_. Jensen slipped his fingers back inside the tight ring of muscle, adding a third and stretching. He bent down and licked along Jared's spine, smiling into the skin when Jared moaned loudly.

It was too much to spend much more time prepping Jared. The man so clearly wanted it and Jensen was going a little crazy trying to wait. He grabbed the bottle of lotion once more and slicked himself, holding the base steady and groaning as he ran the tip along Jared's ass. It was all so fucking hot, Jensen's knees felt weak. Head tipping back, Jensen moaned too loud as he slid forward into Jared, pushing past the resistance and burying himself completely in tight heat.

"Fuck-" Jared's voice became a moan, his body trembling as he tried to adjust to the sudden fullness. _Perfect._ His hips twitched, his own cock aching and his hands gripped the table so hard that his knuckles were white. "Doit," he hissed. _Fuck_ he couldn't wait any longer - he just wanted Jensen to fuck him - slam him against the table.

Withdrawing quickly, Jensen slammed back in with enough force to make Jared slide slightly along the table. He groaned at how that made his mind spin and repeated the action just as hard and fast. He didn't think he'd ever fucked Jared so hard, fingers digging into his hips to hold the man steady with each sharp thrust. Muscles clenched around him every time he slid forward, holding him for a moment before he withdrew. Lifting Jared's hips slightly, he thrust in hard, aiming for his lover's prostate, wanting him to feel as amazing as Jensen felt in that moment, completely out of control with the heightened level of want for the man.

"Oh God..." Jared's body twisted as he was slammed with an electrifying sensation. Pleasure sparked up his body, his limbs felt a little numb and he couldn't catch his breath. The burn faded slightly - ignited each time Jensen's cock slammed into him. Never like this before. Nails clawing at the surface of the table Jared tried to hold as still as he could, but _fuck_ his body had a mind of its own.

When he could finally see again, he blinked his eyes open, feeling the sweat running down the back of his neck. His muscles clenched tight around Jensen's cock each time it filled him, and he moaned softly when it withdrew. " _God,_ " he breathed.

Every time Jensen slid forward he felt like his heart was picking up speed until it was racing so hard in his chest it nearly hurt. He moaned Jared's name loudly, sliding his hand down to curl around Jared's cock and stroke in quick pace with his thrusts. Already he could feel his orgasm building but he had no concept of how long he'd been slamming hard into Jared's body. He could hear the slap of their skin, broken by Jared's gasps and moans, the table occasionally bumping into the wall and his body shook.

"Come, come for me Jared," he moaned the words, drawing them out as his orgasm hit him in a flash. He thrusts through his release, feeling the slick heat of come sliding along his cock each time he pulled back and thrust back in, fingers gliding firm and sure along Jared's cock.

The words were all it took for Jared's orgasm to shoot through him like wildfire. Knees giving out he clung to the table's edge as his cock pulsed out his release in time to Jensen's thrusts. Crying out he thrust his hips wildly, his body writhing and simply moving any way it could. Each breath in was a struggle and Jared's heart was racing so fast it was impossible to tell one beat from another.

For awhile Jensen stayed there, buried in Jared, not quite slumped on his back. Then his knees finally gave out and he withdrew with a groan, sinking back down onto the mercifully clean floor. He sprawled out on his back, allowing the cool surface to ease the race of his heart, fingers catching around Jared's calf. "C'mere," he mumbled through still slightly ragged breaths, tugging just barely to get Jared to move.

Peeling his sweat-sticky flesh off the table Jared rolled slightly, stumbled and kneeled down beside his boyfriend. Collapsing down half over Jensen's slick body, Jared laughed softly as Jensen groaned. "Jesus _Christ_ , what the hell..." It wasn't really a question unless _god-how-do-you-make-me-fucking-crazy_ was a valid query.

 _"You. That was - hot." Jared was still trying to get his breathing under control, cock still twitching weakly against Jensen's thigh. He was coming down from the best possible high._

 _"Really, really hot." Jensen mumbled, arm wrapping around Jared's body, holding him close. "Damn. This room. It's always going to make me think of fucking you now." Jensen sighed heavily and happily, stretching his muscles tenderly. He'd never felt something so amazing, well, except the last time he'd had sex, which was pretty damn amazing too. "You." He moaned and shook his head, huffing out a slow laugh. "Amazing."_

 _"Can't believe we have to work all day now." Jared groaned and crawled further up Jensen's side so he could kiss the point of his chin. "Can we close today and skip?" He grinned knowing full well Jensen would never let them do that._

 _"Never miss a day of business." Jensen grumbled and ruffled Jared's hair fondly. Then his face scrunched up and he laughed. "Oh god. Chad's going to know exactly what we did. We're never going to live this down."_

 _"What?" Jared looked up and tried to smooth Jensen's hair down but it spiked back up again. "We look normal." Jared's eyes were still heavy, his lips swollen and tender._

 _"You smell, well, like I just fucked you. On the table. With customers and our employees in the other room." Jensen blinked and looked toward Jared. "Dear god. Jared, that just, why is that so hot to me? Like, if I hadn't just fucked you I'd want to fuck you again." Jensen grinned sleepily at Jared, reaching out to stroke the man’s jaw._

 _"Maybe when we finally get some money we should put a shower in. You know, in case I spill paint on myself." Jared grinned and rested his damp cheek on Jensen's chest. "And it was hot 'cause I'm awesome." Jared's smile felt good on his face. It had been a while since he'd felt comfortable teasing Jensen, but things seemed to be so good between them lately._

 _"Oh yeah, I'm sure that's it." Jensen smirked and nudged Jared, groaning as he pushed himself up. "We better get back out there. But tonight..." Jensen pulled him close and brushed their lips together. "You can show me again just how awesome you are. Maybe on the arm chair in your art room hmm?"_

 _"MMhmm, okay." Jared smiled against Jensen's lips and then flipped over on to his back. "First I gotta die for a while."_

 _"I'll make appropriate excuses for you." Jensen patted Jared's stomach fondly and pushed up to his feet, hunting around for his clothes. "Love you." He grinned down at Jared, nudging his thigh with his foot before gathering up his clothes and slowly pulling them on. He really wasn't used to having to get dressed and everything after sex, luckily the sex had been worth it so he'd take the discomfort._

 _"See, now I know you love me. Just ten minutes," Jared slurred. His plan was to lie there and think about Jensen because really? Best thing to think about._

 _"Yeah yeah." Jensen grinned and slipped back into his shoes, head tilting down to the side to stare at Jared for a moment. "If you're not out there in a half hour I'm sending Chad to get you." He laughed at the threat and Jared's foot nudging into his before he headed for the door._

 _Jensen spent an extra amount of time finishing up the pastries in the kitchen, hoping it would be enough time for his lips to look less swollen. Only his plan was foiled by Chad coming in back within minutes._

 _"Dude, what the fuck, where did you two- Jesus." Chad groaned and shook his head. "You totally fucked in the back didn't you?"_

 _Looking up, Jensen's eyebrows arched and he smirked. "Wouldn't you like to know?"_

 _"I don't need to, it's all over your face and you have sex hair." Chad scowled and crossed his arms over his chest. "Lucky bastards."_

 _"Envious of our gay sex Chad? Didn't think you were into that kind of thing." Jensen grinned; pleased at how easy it was to tease Chad. "Hey, how would you feel about running this place this weekend?"_

 _It worked as a diversionary tactic, Chad's arms fell to the side and he half smiled, looking unsure. "What? You'd trust me to do that?"_

 _"I trust you to take Jared to random towns and oversee his art transactions." Jensen shrugged. It was enough of an explanation for him and Chad seemed to get the implications behind it enough to make him grin. "Stephanie should help you out too. She knows how to make the drinks and everything."_

 _The grin on Chad's face faded slightly and he shook his head. "I don't know, wouldn't that, I mean, couldn't that hurt her? Spending her day on her feet and stuff? She's already pretty tired most of the time."_

 _Jensen looked up at him, slightly surprised by the concern in Chad's tone. It made him smile. "She'll be okay. Just watch her, if she's looking particular tired, have her sit down and take a break. Mostly it will be good for her to do something productive."_

 _"Yeah, okay." Chad nodded and tapped the table, grinning once more. "Thanks man. No one's ever trusted me to, well, you know. It's a big fucking deal or whatever." Chad shrugged and stepped back. "Anyway. We need more money out front."_

 _"It's in the back safe." Jensen jerked his head that way. "Combination's 0819. You'll need that this weekend."_

 _"Okay." Chad nodded and headed that way, steps faltering for a moment, turning to look at him. "What's that? The numbers?"_

 _Jensen smiled softly and looked up at Chad, shrugging. "The day I met Jared." He listened to Chad laugh as he headed to the back room for the safe. Yeah it was cheesy, but Jensen had never claimed to be otherwise._

 _-=-=-=-_

 _"Tada." Jensen dropped down onto the couch beside Jared and held out the ice cream sundae, grinning at Jared. "The perfect ice cream sundae, made just the way you like it. Whipped cream and all. You can thank me later in many wonderful and awesome ways."_

 _Jared grinned and took the sundae, snatching up the spoon and digging in. "You know," he mumbled with a mouth full of ice cream, "I'ma get fat." Pushing out his belly he slumped further down on the couch._

 _"We can tell Stephanie it's sympathy weight." Jensen grinned and leaned down to kiss Jared's belly. He felt silly and more than a little giddy about this whole weekend alone thing. Just being with Jared though, having him all to himself, it made him like that. And it was only Saturday afternoon; they'd still have all day tomorrow._

 _Sliding his leg across Jared's thighs, Jensen settled back on him and grinned, opening his mouth. "Share the wealth."_

 _Laughing, Jared held up a full spoon to Jensen's lips. He watched as Jensen sucked on the spoon, sighed, because seriously? Sucking ice cream off a spoon turned him on. Man, he was _so_ gone for Jensen. Shaking his head to bring his thoughts back Jared scooped up some of the chocolate sauce. "So I got this thing I gotta go to tomorrow, it's for my art - meeting with a dealer at a gallery function - you come with? It's dressy so we can go in our suits."_

"Mm. I suppose. You're lucky I love you otherwise I'd definitely be mad that there's something you have to do on our weekend of seclusion." Jensen laughed, swallowing down the last taste of ice cream and dipping in to kiss Jared softly. "I may be the luckiest man alive, you know?" Jensen settled back on Jared's thighs, taking the spoon from him to feed Jared a bite.

"Mmm, you absolutely are." Jared sucked in the ice cream that was starting to melt and grinned. He smoothed Jensen's hair back, thumb rubbing his boyfriend's cheek. "This was a great idea you know, just having a weekend to ourselves." They hadn't done a lot and actually hadn't let the apartment since closing up the cafe Friday night. They'd spent some time in the hot tub, a lot of time kissing; they'd cooked real meals and actually sat at the table to eat them. It was good - they'd needed it.

"I know. I'm a genius." Jensen laughed and slid closer to Jared, smirking down at him. "It's kind of scary sometimes, you know, how much you make me want you always. I feel like, maybe I want to do everything with you. Even silly ridiculous things and certainly all the sexual things." He grinned at his boyfriend and wet his lips. "I feel good. This feels good. We really have to make it happen more."

"Agreed," Jared pressed his ice-cream cooled lips to his boyfriends then pulled back to scoop another spoonful of ice cream up and put it to Jensen's lips. "I think we should do this every weekend. If Chad works out - I mean if he doesn't set fire to the place, maybe weekends could be his thing?"

Licking the ice cream off the spoon, Jensen hummed softly and nodded. "I think that's a good idea. He seemed surprise when I asked him about it, said no one ever trusted him with something so big. I think the level of responsibility will be good for him." Jensen slid his hand through Jared's hair and sighed softly. "And the alone time will be good for us. It's a win win situation."

"It's funny. When I think about it Chad never did have a job or anything. Like me. That makes you different somehow. I bet lots of people think they don't want to work, would rather spend all their time relaxing, hanging out but I don't think that's good. Bet there are lots of reasons it's good for Chad. I think. We should all have to be _needed_ somewhere, be responsible for something or someone." Jared realized he'd kind of gone on a mini tirade and shrugged.

"It's true though. Being needed makes you feel good. I don't think Chad realizes how Stephanie needs him anyway." Jensen sighed and settled down against Jared's chest, stroking a hand back through Jared's hair. "It's nice to be needed." He smiled softly against Jared's neck, pressing a small kiss there.

"Do you think they could ever be like us? I mean, Stephanie, she's different than you - not as strong in some ways. If she were free..." Jared gazed down at his boyfriend's face; the freckles he could map out when he sketched, the gentle curve of lashes.

"I'm not sure she could handle being free, even if she wanted to be. It's... hard to explain. The sense of detachment, what it's like when you're let go." Jensen sighed once more, fingers curling loosely in Jared's hair. "Imagine if someone came to you, took you from your family and said okay, that's not your family anymore. You can't ever be a part of them anymore and you'll never again be associated with them. Not everyone can handle that, and I just, I'm not sure Stephanie could."

Nodding, Jared shifted a little so he could wrap his around Jensen's middle. "We could be her family though," he said sadly.

"I wish we could. I really do. But, I think it would be different as a girl you know? Not saying she's especially weak or anything but, you know that guy who came in and bashed me that one time? Remember how broken I was after no matter how I tried to ignore it? That would happen to her, maybe even worse then what I deal with. I can't imagine how broken she'd be." Jensen frowned and squeezed Jared's thighs between his legs.

"I guess. Sometimes, I think we should stop Purity. Reveal the other side of what happens to people but then ... well, I wouldn't have you if I'd never filled out that stupid survey. Did I ever tell you that I put _freckles_ on one of my answers?" It felt like a million years ago. Sometimes, Jared found it hard to remember the time _before_ Jensen.

Snorting a surprised laugh, Jensen sat up and looked down at Jared. "Freckles? Really?" He couldn't help grinning and running the side of his finger down Jared's nose. "You're adorable."

Jared felt the beginning of a blush on his cheeks. "I don't even know why I thought of that. Freckles. Anyway. Can't believe I never told you that." Shaking his head slightly he leaned back against the couch. "You got your suit all ready for tomorrow? I expect you to be the perfect arm candy." He grinned.

"Really? So I mean, I'm going as your date or something, officially?" Jensen wrinkled his nose and shrugged. "My suit is all pressed. It's likely _yours_ that we have to worry about. I think we hung it up last time you used it." Jensen laughed softly and pressed his lips to Jared's temple. "Hey, why didn't you tell me about this thing earlier? Is it really big? With lots of important people I have to win over and stuff?"

"Just went out of my mind with all the Cafe stuff and Steph." Jared sighed and shifted a little, pulled Jensen closer until he was basically draped over him. "It's pretty big, could really change things for us. Some black tie affair. But we don't need to wear Tuxes to black tie do we? What does black tie mean?" Jared raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"I'm pretty sure it means uh, black, tie." Jensen snorted and pushed off Jared's lap, climbing to his feet and stretching up. "What time tomorrow? I want to stay up late and sleep in tomorrow."

"Starts at two in the afternoon but it's gonna be long. We can sneak away as soon as possible. You wanna watch a scary movie and be scared all night?" Jared's smile grew. Leaning forward he set the empty bowl on the coffee table.

"As long as you promise to make me not so scared before bed." Jensen grinned and headed for the movie collection, scanning through thin cases. "I'm holding you to the sneaking away thing tomorrow. You'll have to keep me close and all, since they'll probably be all those big wig art people who'll want to steal me away." Jensen liked the easy teasing banter between them, it felt warm and comfortable and he knew Jared knew that going with him wasn't an issue. Jensen would do anything for Jared.

"Oh I think they'll know that you're mine." Jared's smile was crooked as he watched Jensen trying to choose a movie. Tomorrow would be a _very_ good day for them.


	5. Chapter 5

"Okay so I have a small surprise for you, on account of you're the best boyfriend in the world." Jared was grinning as he towel dried his hair. Leaning forward to look in the mirror he poked at his cheeks. "Do I look older? I look older."

"You are older. But you don't look it. Any wrinkles you have are from smiling." Jensen looked over at Jared and smiled softly, shaking his head. "What's the surprise?"

"It's on the bed. Should I be using cream on my face or something like that? Maybe I should get one of those things for the bathroom that shoots that lighted mist at your face. You think?" Jared stood back and ran his hand through his hair.

"I think you should let yourself age naturally because you're gorgeous and I like you just the way you are." Jensen laughed and patted Jared's ass before heading out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. He drew to a stop at the two tuxes laid out there, obviously new, black and crisp. Eyebrows lifting slightly, Jensen stepped forward and touched the cuff of the nearest one. "You bought me clothes?" He grinned, glancing over his shoulder at the bathroom.

Jared headed out of the bathroom and wrapped his arms around Jensen, pressing up against his back. "Yeah, I figured we'll be going to lots of these things and we're going to have to dress appropriately. Right?" Slipping out from behind Jensen he pointed to the Tux on the left. "That one's yours - I used the measurements from our regular tailor so it should be a great fit. Did I do okay?"

Beaming up at his boyfriend, Jensen nodded and turned to him, brushing their lips together. "Yes. They're stunning. And you're wonderful for thinking ahead." He laughed softly and gathered up his suit, holding it close. "I'm going to change in the other room so it will surprise you. Then I'll come back to help you with your tie." Jensen continued laughing as he carried the suit across the hall to change in his library.

The suit fit perfectly, Jensen wasn't that surprised and he admired the sharp lines and smooth fabric in the mirror as he dressed. The whole idea of dressing up and going with Jared to some fancy art thing was actually mildly appealing. He liked the idea of showing Jared off, of them being not afraid of announcing to the world what they were and how they loved each other. He couldn't get the grin off his face as he turned and headed back for their bedroom.

It did dim however, upon seeing Jared in his suit. It framed his long form perfectly, hanging in just the right places and Jensen's breath caught in his throat. "Damn. You look. Yeah. Good choice with the suits, definitely." He half stepped forward, reaching out for Jared because he couldn't _not_ touch him at that point.

Jared had combed his hair back off his forehead, but it wouldn't stay there; never did. "You look so... you're handsome and. Yeah. Wow. I - I'm gonna find us more of these things to go to." Tilting his head slightly Jared leaned down and pressed his lips to his boyfriend's. "You know how much I love you right? No matter what we go through?"

Smiling softly, Jensen leaned into the kiss for a moment and sighed. "I know. And last time you said that, bad things happened, we're not about to go into like, a Purity convention right?" Jensen laughed softly, shaking his head as he reached up to tuck hair behind Jared's ear.

"A what? No." Jared's hand slipped under the bottom of Jensen's jacket and he smiled. "We're gonna go hang out, chat with some people, schmooze and eat good snacks. Of course, the snacks aren't cooked by my favorite chef so I can't vouch for them."

"Good answer." Jensen grinned and patted Jared's jaw. "Tie then?" He slid his hands down to Jared's collar, working at the fabric. "I love you too, by the way. Because I don't think I said it today." He stepped back, looking him up and down slowly. "We're having sex as soon as possible. Because you in that suit..." Jensen slowly shook his head, wetting his lips.

Jared's phoned repeated the front door chime. "That will be our car. Let's go." He headed out of the bedroom and down the hall, laughing softly when he heard Jensen's confused muttering.

"A car? Really?" Jensen asked as they made down the hall out of the apartment, scratching along his arm. Jared just continued to laugh as they stepped into the elevator and went down to the main floor. When they stepped outside, Jensen eyed the shiny black limo, it wasn't one of the stretch kind but certainly larger than an average car. For the first time, Jensen actually found himself wondering what type of party they were going to. "Did they provide the car? I mean, we can't really afford..." he frowned slightly, looking up at Jared as the drive opened the door.

"The guy who's organizing the thing sent it. Don't worry." Stopping by the open door Jared smiled down at his boyfriend. "No worrying today alright? Not a worry." Kissing the end of Jensen's nose he pushed him toward the back of the car. "Get in and be quiet." He laughed and slid in behind Jensen.

"Bossy." Jensen grumbled as he settled in beside Jared, watching out the window as the car headed through the town. He was glad neither of them had to drive at least, and then Jensen could feel safe having a few drinks and allowing Jared to do the same.

Their hands linked together as Jensen shifted to lay his head on Jared's shoulder, closing his eyes softly. He could almost _feel_ Jared's smile which was probably odd but maybe just a testament to how well he knew his boyfriend.

They drove in comfortable silence, Jensen listening to Jared's breathe around the sound of traffic. When the car slowed he finally pushed up, blinking around the almost sleep he'd nearly fallen into. Jensen's brows drew together as he spotted first Stephanie, then Megan. They were dressed in identical light blue dresses and Jensen half smiled because whatever Megan was whispering was making Stephanie giggle.

Then he saw Jeff and Chad and frowned. "What's..." Looking over at Jared, Jensen's lips pursed, confusion clear on his features. "Why are they here?"

"Now, don't go telling me you don't want to go in there because my Mom - God - she pulled out every bit of her inner bitch to get us permission to be here. Jensen," Jared turned to face him and picked up both of his boyfriend's hands. "I should probably check, will you marry me?"

"What? Like, right now?" Jensen blinked in surprise, looking back over his shoulder then back at Jared. "Your mom? But Chad's, I mean, how did he get here?" Jensen was having trouble wrapping his mind around this whole thing, Chad being here and Jared's mom getting permission to be at this exclusive club that was usually off limits to Companions and apparently something about getting married. "Are you saying we're getting married right now?"

"Sweetgrass is closed for a staff wedding today. Free drinks for customers on Monday. And yes, Jensen, if you'll have me. Today. Right now. Chad and Stephanie are standing up for you, my rotten siblings for me. They'll witness. My Dad found an officiant who believes that same sex couples should be able to marry and he's willing to do it. It's as legal as we can make it. I have papers inside for you to change your name if you want to become part of... my family. Become my family. You are my family." Jared dropped his gaze for a few moments. "Now would be a good time to say yes if you want to otherwise I gotta go start explaining."

"Don't be stupid." Jensen huffed, laughing then because the surprise had him all sorts of torn emotion wise. "I mean, yes. Duh. Of course. Wasn't I just asking for this? _God_ how did you manage to keep it secret for so long?" Jensen wrapped his arms around Jared and pulled him in for a soft kiss, grinning into it. "You're kind of more than amazing you know?"

"I am? That's good right?" The door opened behind him and Jared turned to thank the driver. "Come on, we're getting married." Hopping out of the car he held out his hand for Jensen as he heard the others gathering around them.

"Jesus." Jensen blinked in surprised, still a bit caught up on that fact. _Married_. He'd basically been begging for it a few days ago and here it was. Jensen grinned, sliding his hand through Jared's as he stepped out of the car.

"Wow, look at you two." Megan nearly ran up to them, arms wrapping around Jared's neck then Jensen's. "You look so super fantastic. I'm completely jealous."

Jensen laughed and shook his head. "You look great too Megan, I like that blue on you." His hand stayed locked with Jared's as Stephanie came over and greeted him, Jeff and Chad clapping Jared on the shoulder. It was all a bit surreal. "How is this happening?" Jensen turned to Jared, smiling uncertainly. "I mean, um, what am I supposed to do now?"

Jared turned back from Jeff still laughing and squeezed his boyfriend's fingers. "Well, this insane crew of people will go inside and get everyone ready and then you and I walk down the aisle together. I figure, no one is giving anyone away - we're giving ourselves to each other. Is that okay?" He looked around at the beaming faces of his friends and family. "Guess they're waiting for you to give them the nod."

"Oh yes, well, yeah. That sounds amazing." Jensen laughed, a little nervously, looking around at their friends. "Go, go, do whatever it is you're doing."

"Aw, he's just adorable." Megan grinned and wrapped her arm around Stephanie, leading her toward the building. "We'll see you inside boys," she called over her shoulder.

"Stop looking so terrified Jensen, you'll freak Jared out." Chad laughed as he and Jeff followed the girl's inside.

Jensen blinked and looked back at Jared, eyes widening. "Do I really look terrified?"

Laughing Jared shrugged slightly. "You do look a little scared. Is it really okay? You know that you don't have to go through with this - it won't change a single thing between you and me. Is it too much? I did too much. I just... I know you wanted small and this _is_ small. Just my family and our friends. I just want everyone to know how much I love you."

"Jared, it's not too much. You just caught me a little off guard is all." Jensen smiled and turned to him, cupping Jared's jaw on either side. "I love you, and I want this, more than anything. It's probably good I have a moment to let everything catch up and all. Did your mom do all of this?"

"Mom and Meg, me. Dad did the music - well, you'll see later. Everyone did something. Chad and Stephanie. Well, I think this is special. They did the food for us with your recipes from the cafe and brought the staff to help serve, but, they made it all." Jared smiled and leaned down to leave a small kiss by Jensen's ear. "You're making me the happiest man alive."

"You're kind of blowing my mind." Jensen whispered and turned his gaze down, flush coloring along his cheeks. His heart seemed to be racing, an excited anticipation swelling up in him as it once more hit him that he was going to be _marrying_ Jared. Jensen was pretty sure he couldn't express how much this meant to him. "I love you. Now. Are we doing this thing then?" Jensen grinned up at Jared, pulling him slightly toward the doors.

The grin on Jared's face felt like it would be pretty permanently etched there. They moved up the steps quickly and pulled the doors open. Jared could smell the flowers that Meg had decorated with - all from the family garden. It was overwhelming and Jared threaded his fingers through Jensen's. When he heard the piano music playing he pulled the doors open and smiled down at Jensen.

The room was fairly full but it wasn't overcrowded. Jared's family was there, his friends from school. He was pretty sure that he heard the familiar sound of Christian's wolf whistle as they headed down the aisle. Meg had decorated the chairs with flowers and ribbon - mostly they were Jensen's favorite, the flowers, and the colors. Jared had a habit of paying attention to what Jensen said he liked and it had paid off when it came to organizing the wedding.

Jensen's breath caught in his throat as he walked with Jared down the aisle and though he'd never given thought to how they'd walk before, this seemed the only fitting way. He caught Sharon's smile, and Amanda's wide grin, before dropping his gaze and grinning at the ground. His fingers tightened in Jared's grasp, free hand sliding across his chest to curl around the inside of Jared's arm. Their bodies brushed and Jensen let out a sound that was far too close to a giggle for his tastes.

When they got up to the front of the room Chad and Stephanie were waiting on one side, Jeff and Meg on the other. Jensen gave them each a small smile in turn before glancing up at the man who would be overseeing their wedding then looked back at Jared for the next step. He'd only ever been to Jeff's wedding before and that had been in a huge church with hundreds of people. This was so clearly different.

"Jensen, I'm Daniel Rexan. I'll be performing your marriage today. It's nice to meet you." The officiant tugged his jacket closed and held out his hand to Jensen, shook it briefly and waited until the buzz of conversation died down. "Jared, nice to see you again." He was shorter than Jared and Jensen, slighter, but he had a warm smile.

Jared grinned and muttered a small, "hi." Jeff and Meg laughed quietly and Jared punched his brother in the shoulder which just set off laughter behind them.

"Shhh," Jensen admonished, half glaring but mostly grinning. "I'm trying to get married here!" This sent the whole room into laughter and Jensen shook his head. "Some people. No respect. Shall we?" Jensen beamed expectantly at the man then at Jared.

Daniel's face was covered with a bright smile and Jared felt himself relax a little. He still couldn't bring himself to let go of Jensen's hand but he figured that was okay.

"So, welcome everyone. I'm Daniel and I'll be joining these two young men in marriage today. This is an unusual ceremony in some ways, perhaps the first time that some of you have seen a marriage of two men. But, what I wanted to share with you are some of the things that are _remarkably_ unusual about it. First of all, Jared here has been meeting with me because this is a surprise ceremony for Jensen here. So if at any point he looks a little bit overwhelmed I'm sure we can all cut him a bit of slack." Daniel smiled out at the crowd of guests.

"Jared has told me some remarkable stories about the life that these two men have been building together and I wanted to share a bit of that with you if it's okay with these two." Daniel raised his eyebrows questioningly at both men.

Jared nodded and glanced at Jensen out of the corner of his eye. Jensen nodded and smiled.

"When Jared and Jensen first met it was under unusual circumstances. Jared tells me he actually fell and hit his head moments before letting Jensen in his front door but assures me that has nothing to do with him falling in love." Daniel waited until the laughter behind them died down again. "Jared says that you all had the pleasure of knowing Jensen when he was Jared's life companion and that you've all continued to support and love both of them since Jensen's taken on his new life as Jared's _boyfriend_." He shrugged at the row of parents, "Jared insisted on that word," he whispered loudly. Laughter rose around them again.

"What was so unusual you might ask? Judging by what Jared has told me about their relationship, this is one of the most loving, unselfish and genuine relationships I've encountered in a very long time. It's an absolutely pleasure for me to be here to share in this remarkable day." Daniel nodded at both men briefly then opened his book.

"We are gathered today to mark the joining of these two men in a civil ceremony. Equal partners in the life that extends before them. I'm required by law to ask at this point if there is anyone present who's aware of any reason these two men should not be joined." He looked out over the crowd of faces and smiled when there was no response. "As it should be," he declared.

"Jared, I understand you'd like to present your vows first to give your love-struck boyfriend here a few moments to think." Daniel winked at Jensen.

"Yes. Sir." Jared licked his lips nervously. "Is it my turn now?" He frowned when he heard Chad's laugh.

"Yes, Jared, go ahead." Daniel smiled warmly.

Turning to face Jensen, Jared reached out with shaking hands and grabbed both of his boyfriend's hands. Looking up he met that green-eyed gaze and smiled. "Jensen. When I met you - I wasn't sure what was going to happen and, I was scared and the crazy thing was that very first day when you put an ice pack on my head and took care of me; there was already a part of me that wanted you to be there forever. You and I have been through some scary times and some fantastic times and no matter what - I know that you're there for me. I feel like we were meant to find each other, not just because of freckles." Jared smiled at Jensen even as he felt tears coming into his own eyes.

"I can't imagine living without you. You're my heart, you're my soul and you're the reason that I take my first breath every morning. So - if you agree today to be my husband I promise to spend the rest of my life trying to be that for you as well. I love you." Jared smiled as tears finally moved down his cheeks slowly.

A handkerchief appeared over his shoulder and the front few rows laughed softly. "Thanks Meg," he muttered.

Jensen had to swallow several times to get his throat to clear. He kind of wanted to pull Jared into him and kissing him hard but was pretty sure this wasn't the time yet for that. The entire ceremony was blowing his mind and Jensen's knees felt weak with the flutter of his heart. When Jared had wiped his eyes, Jensen reached out and grabbed the handkerchief, wiping it across his eyes and smiling softly.

Daniel's expression softened as he looked between the men and then he turned to Jensen. "Jensen, I know we've completely put you on the spot by not giving you any time to prepare vows. But would you say a few words to declare your love for your partner? Sorry, boyfriend."

 _Laughter_.

"Okay." Jensen nodded slowly, heart picking up speed. For all that he was accustomed to being around people, this was a bit much, mind reeling with what he could possibly say to describe how important Jared was to him. "I lived twenty two years before I met you, only, not really because I'm not sure I ever really lived until I became part of your life. You've taught me so much, showed me how this world was more than just taking orders and serving someone. I know, no matter what you say contrary to the point, that I wouldn't be who I am now without you in my life. And I really don't think I could keep going if you weren't there beside me. And you're more than amazing for making this entire thing happen even if you gave me absolutely no notice and left me to fend for myself."

Jensen smiled shyly at the next round of laughter his words sparked in the crowd watching and he found himself once more wiping at his cheeks before handing the handkerchief back to Jared. He felt a little ridiculous with all the crying but seeing the light sparkling in Jared's eyes was completely worth it. "Oh and I'm crazy in love with you. In case you didn't know that already."

"Can I kiss him now?" Jared barely glanced at Daniel.

"Not yet," Daniel whispered.

Everyone started to laugh again and Jared felt like his heart might burst if it swelled anymore.

"Alright gentleman. I understand a ring switch from one hand to the other is to take place. In case anyone is unaware, these are the rings that Jared had made from Jensen's companion bracelet. Jared and Jensen have chosen to use these rings as their wedding rings because they symbolize their past, their present and their future.”

Jared knew by the look on Jensen's face that those words meant a lot to him. He bit down on his bottom lip and looked down, trying to compose himself.

"Jared would you remove the ring from Jensen's right hand and place it on his left hand while you repeat after me."

Jared hardly heard the words coming from Daniel's mouth; it was as though he was speaking them alone. Tugging the ring off Jensen's right hand he slipped the ring onto his ring finger and stared into his eyes. "This ring is a symbol to you and I and to others that we are joined. Like this ring, we're solid and unending. And with this ring, I marry you Jensen." Jared grinned and sighed in relief.

Jared thrust his hand toward Jensen. "Do mine then we can kiss."

Daniel laughed.

Hand shaking slightly Jensen pulled Jared's ring off one finger and transferred it to the other hand, looking up. "Um. What you just said. And the whole I marry you Jared thing. With the ring." He let out the almost giggle again and resisted the urge to backward kick Chad who snorted behind him. Looking up at Daniel he grinned. "Now can we kiss?"

"One more minute Jensen." Daniel tried to look serious and failed because of the laughter that was swelling behind the men. "Jared and Jensen. With what authority I have, I pronounce you to be married in the eyes of your family and friends. Jared and Jensen Padalecki. Please kiss before one of you explodes." Daniel laughed and stepped back.

Jared grinned and tugged Jensen into his arms. He heard about three seconds of clapping and cheering but then Jensen's lips were on his and his heart was settling back into its familiar rhythm. He slid one hand up through Jensen's hair, the other holding his _husband's_ hand pressed tight to his chest.

Eyes fluttering closed Jensen pressed into Jared, holding him as close as possible as their lips parted and tongues met. It was definitely high ranking on his list of best kisses ever. His heart flipped in his chest and when the kiss broke his eyes remained closed for a long moment before slowly opening. "Wow." He murmured softly, staring with pure adoration up at his now husband. The grin that split his lips was almost painful in its width.

Jared finally slid his arms around Jensen's waist and leaned close so only his husband could hear him. "You married me," he whispered, lips moving against the smooth skin of Jensen's cheek.

"Yeah." Jensen turned just slightly into him, eyes closing once more as he drank in everything that was Jared, his scent, his warmth. Jensen's heart almost ached from the way it beat so steadily in his chest. "Best thing I've ever done."

"I think you two might actually make me sick." Chad muttered from not too far away. "You're cuddling each other."

"Chad." Stephanie sighed and shook her head and Jensen laughed softly when he heard something that sounded distinctly like Stephanie's hand smacking Chad's arm.

Laughing, Jared turned Jensen to face the crowd of familiar faces and waved. "Shall we? I hear there's some pretty awesome food and drinks at this reception thing my mom put together."

Jensen opened his mouth to respond as they headed back down the aisle but Sharon caught him within two steps and pulled him close in a tight hug. "Welcome to the family Jensen!" She almost sobbed into his neck.

Staring wide eyed over her shoulder at Gerald who was watching, Jensen patted Sharon's back once and nodded. "Um. Thank you Sharon. And thank you for putting this all together for us."

"Of course, of course. Wait until you see everything." She stepped back and made a grab for Jared, tugging him close. "Oh my son, married! I can hardly believe it. You sounded so grown up standing up there."

Jared laughed, and grabbed Jensen's hand as soon as they were both free again. "Thanks Mom. I think Jensen did better than me though seeing as he had no notice." Jared bumped Jensen's shoulder and grinned down at him. "I can't stop smiling," he murmured.

"Me either. My cheeks are going to hurt worse than that one time I-" Jensen cut off sharply and blinked at Jared then cleared his throat. "Well uh, where's this amazing party going to take place?" Jensen rubbed at his neck, ducking his head so Sharon couldn't see his blush and put together the rest of his sentence.

"I'll go make sure they've set up all the food and decorations. You boys take a few minutes to enjoy the moment then come on in. Chad! Jeff! Round up the guests. Meg, stop fiddling with the flowers..." Sharon walked off, calling out orders as she moved.

"My Mom." Jared shook his head slowly and watched as people started to file out of the room. "Thank you for saying yes." Jared looked down at Jensen, still reeling at the fact that he was a married man and married to the best man in the world at that.

"Why would I have said anything else?" Jensen whispered and reached out to caress Jared's jaw. "You're like, everything you know? My best friend, my lover, the most important person in my world. I can't wait to spend the rest of forever with you." Jensen pulled him in to softly brush their lips together.

"Boys?" Stephanie cleared her throat softly, smiling at them and keeping her eyes to the ground. "I just wanted to say congratulations and I, wanted to give you this." She offered a wrapped box to them, free hand fluttering over her stomach then dropping to the side. "For a thank you and everything. For all you've done for Chad and I."

Jared took the box and untied the ribbon, opening it to reveal a beautiful frame. It was a picture of them, probably taken at one of the days they'd spent at Chad and Stephanie's and the wedding date was engraved below their names. Tears welled in Jared's eyes again and he smiled at Stephanie then nudged Jensen because he couldn't actually speak. His fingers ran over the frame and then he wiped at his cheeks.

"Steph," Jensen whispered softly, looking up from the frame and pulling her close to hug her tightly. He could feel the bump under her dress, had known it was there though clearly Jared had ensured her dress would be designed in such a way that it wouldn't be entirely noticeable. Stephanie's arms wrapped around him and he smiled softly, starting back when he felt a press along his middle.

Pulling back, Jensen's eyes widened and he looked down, reaching out before he could stop himself and touching her stomach. "Was that... oh my god." Jensen's heart clenched slightly at the following series of tiny little kicks, barely noticeable but amazing none the less. "Jared. Jared, come here."

"May I?" Jared switched the frame to his far hand and waited until Stephanie nodded to press his hand against her belly. It felt like a little ripple then something the felt kind of like a bump. "Whoa..." he smiled up at Stephanie. "Holy shit. I mean... sorry." He grinned at Jensen and pulled his hand back slowly. Sure he knew she was pregnant but this made it all the more real.

"They've been doing that through the whole ceremony," Stephanie said softly and shrugged. "He or she I mean. Just one. But, it's the most actively they've ever been. I actually am ready for the appointment next week because it feels weird not knowing whether to call it a her or a him." She spoke quietly, head turning slightly to ensure Chad had already gone to the other room.

Jensen rolled his lips together and smiled, looking up at Jared then back at Stephanie. "That's kind of adorable. Does it feel weird?"

"A little. I can just feel the little presses now. I'm sure it will be even stranger when it's bigger and I can feel it turning over." She smiled softly and stepped back, gesturing toward the hallway. "I'll see you boys in the other room."

Jensen watched her go, curling his fingers together before turning back to Jared. "Can you just imagine? I mean, this tiny little person growing in her. It's so... insane."

"It is," Jared said. Turning toward Jensen he frowned slightly at the look on the man's face then shook his head. "So, you ready? To face your adoring fans?"

"Jared, do you ever think-" Jensen cut himself off. There was a time and place for this conversation and it wasn't at their wedding. "Never mind. Let's go." Jensen offered his hand, half stepping toward the doorway.

"What?" Jared smiled and pulled Jensen back against his chest, palm pressing to the small of his back. "You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm great." Jensen smiled warmly up at Jared and brought their lips together in a soft kiss. "So, you meant what you said about as leaving as soon as possible right? Because I kind of want to claim you as my husband."

"I absolutely did." Jared kissed Jensen's temple and started them walking toward the door again.

-=-=-=-

Despite Jensen's insane desire to take Jared home and enjoy their newly married status, he had a surprisingly good time at their reception. Being around all the laughter and smiles, the warm talk and friendship, made Jensen's blood pulse in the most amazing of ways.

The food was actually quite good and Jensen was pleased to see how well Chad and Stephanie had done at following his recipes. Sharon was constantly buzzing around, ensuring everyone had what they could need and Jared and he amused themselves with her slightly crazy antics while they ate, legs pressed together under the table.

At some point Chad stood and clinked his fork against his glass, getting everyone to pay attention. "Alright. So here's the deal. I remember when Jensen showed up at Jared's door, and Jared called me freaking out about this guy who was supposedly meant to be his Companion. Naturally, as Jared's best friend I told him to knock off the sh-" Chad cut off as Gerald coughed loudly then laughed. "Right. My bad. PG version. So he freaked out, I told him to stop. Basically I forced them together. And again a month later when Jared nearly screwed the whole thing up."

Chad laughed once more when Jared buried his head in his hands, groaning softly. "Don't worry Jay, man, we all know your tendency for crazy actions without thought. Anyway, my _point_ -"

"Finally." Jeff huffed loudly from beside him and the room laughed.

"Man, these Padalecki's, they're a crazy bunch. But Jensen, you're a perfect fit. I see how much you complete my friend, how happy you make him. In my book that makes you the best. Just, you know, knowing you two can make it, kind of gives the rest of us hope. We should all be so lucky." Chad raised his glass in a toast and Jensen shared a warm smile with the man before sipping from his drink. Jared had tears in his eyes, likely surprised by how sweet Chad was about the whole thing. Jensen squeezed Jared's hand and leaned over to kiss him softly as the room cheered. This made both men laugh, happy and joyful.

Jensen had danced with Jared before, at Jeff's wedding, but it was so very different sharing the intimate moment on the impromptu dance floor. Jared's arm looped low around his body, Jensen's around Jared and their hands clasped as they swayed softly to the music. Even with all the people watching it felt like just them, foreheads coming to rest together as Jared softly murmured about how happy he was. Jensen couldn't help kissing him just then, soft parting of lips that he was fairly sure drew many _awws_ from the crowd.

As others joined them on the dance floor Jensen laughed and allowed Meg to drag her brother off for a dance, stepping over to pull Stephanie out on the floor with him. She seemed uncertain to dance but Chad gave her a small nod and smile and she stepped into Jensen.

"I hope I can be as happy one day," Stephanie whispered as they moved along the dance floor.

"Oh, you will be Steph, one day. I know it. Just like I know Chad loves you." He smiled and his eyes sparkled when he felt the baby flutter softly between them as he half hugged her mid dance.

She smiled sadly and shook her head. "I think this baby knows who you are."

It warmed Jensen's heart to hear the words and he glanced over at Jared, watching him laugh at something Meg said with his head tilted back. When he looked back at Stephanie, she was watching him with curious eyes. "What?"

"I know you're thinking about something." Stephanie murmured and slowly shook her head. "Be careful Jensen."

"Don't you worry darling, it's all going to be okay." Jensen patted Stephanie's cheek and grinned before spinning her out and pulling her back in.

Jensen danced with so many people he couldn't keep count. He continually passed from one person to another, laughing when he watched Jared drag Chad out onto the dance floor to dance with him. Chad didn't put up with it long but Jensen could tell the smile on his face was real and he thought maybe Chad needed a day like this to remember how great life could be.

When the cake was brought out Jared dragged him that way, gushing about all the flavors he'd tried and how he wouldn't settle for anything but the best considering Jensen's culinary tendencies. It did turn out to be amazing, half white and half chocolate. The white side was filled with strawberry filling and the chocolate with an almost mouse like cream. Jensen threatened Jared with no sex if he smooshed cake into his face so they just fed each other bites with their arms looped together.

They were forced to take photographs next, though it was slightly out of order, apparently the photographer hadn't wanted to break up the mood before. Jensen was surprised by how much he enjoyed the act, despite being told were to stand and how to smile. The sun was setting and Jensen was fairly certain the shots were going to be beautiful, he already couldn't wait to get them back.

Thankfully, mercifully, the party was winding down when the returned back inside. There was a stack of gifts on a table by the wall and Jensen laughed at the idea of what they could be, knowing Jared had done the registry all on his own. Jeff and Chad were nice enough to load the presents into the car for them, at Sharon's persistence, and Jensen leaned against Jared's side, head on his shoulder as he watched. He was a bit on the exhausted side but in the most amazing of ways so really, it wasn't too bad. And now he was really looking forward to getting Jared home.

When they had finally hugged and kissed everyone good bye, Jensen thanking them dozens of times for all their hard work, they climbed into the back of the car, Jensen tugging the door shut behind him. The minute the car was in motion Jensen swung his leg over Jared's lap, hands sliding into his hair as he dipped him back and thoroughly kissed him as he'd wanted too from the moment they pulled up to the building that afternoon. His tongue swept along the lingering tastes of chocolate and champagne, seeking out Jared's taste hidden just beneath.

A soft moan fell from his lips into the kiss, fingers tugging slightly on the tie before he pulled back. "Today was perfect. The best day I've ever had. Thank you so much." Jensen beamed at him, loosening Jared's collar so his lips could slide across his husband's neck.

"MMmm, you're _very_ welcome," Jared mumbled. "Thanks for saying yes or I would have had a lot of explaining to -" Jensen's lips ran over a particularly sensitive spot on Jared's neck and his breath caught. His hands balled into fists against Jensen's back for a few moments and he gasped for air. "How... do you do that?"

"Do what?" Jensen asked softly, rocking against Jared's body as he slid open mouthed kisses along Jared's neck, pulling at the flesh. His teeth slid along Jared's earlobe, tugging once and dragging out, letting go with a pop and soft moan. "You're kind of shaking." Jensen sat back slightly, hands sliding through Jared's hair.

"You're kind of responsible for that," Jared teased. "You just. You make me feel so much it feels like I'm just gonna go crazy." His hands slid up under Jensen's jacket, moving over his smooth shirt. "I. I wasn't sure we'd get here you know?" Jared had been an over-emotional wreck all day, close to tears, then laughter.

"What do you mean?" Jensen whispered, fingers curling around the top button on Jared's shirt, sliding out from the hold halfway and pushing back through, sliding out once more until Jensen could see bare skin beneath. "Why wouldn't get here?"

"Because, like Chad said, I can be a real idiot?" Jared smiled and dragged his nails down the cotton covering his husband's back. "Whoa. You're my husband, I just thought that and... yeah. You're my husband." He grinned and leaned up to catch Jensen's lips in a kiss.

Chuckling softly into the kiss, Jensen lingered for a moment before sliding up the jaw, across his temple. "It's pretty wonderful." He whispered the words then fell back to meet Jared's eyes. "Jared, you're not an idiot. You just made a few not so good choices. But really, they were the best because if you hadn't, then we'd never be married would we? So there you go." Jensen beamed at Jared and kissed the tip of his nose. "We need to schedule our honeymoon. Unless by some crazy chance you did?"

"No. No honeymoon booking - I wanted us to pick something together. Wasn't sure where you'd want to go." Jared sighed happily and glanced out the window. "Almost home, Mr. Padalecki." He felt his cheeks get hot -but _God_ he liked saying that.

Face flushing, Jensen slid off Jared's lap, dropping to his side. "You should definitely call me that, all the time." He beamed at Jared, grasping his hand as the car pulled up to a stop. Groaning softly, Jensen didn't wait for the driver to come and open the door before climbing out, pulling Jared with him. "We have to carry all those gifts upstairs. That's just not fair."

"There's one of those rolling cart things in the front storage room. I'll go and get it." Jared headed into the building while Jensen unloaded and returned shortly with a small motorized lifter.

They piled everything on to the flat bed of the small cart and Jared tipped the driver while Jensen almost ran himself over with the cart as he tried to move it. "Whoa there tiger - maybe I better drive." Jared laughed and took back the controls. It didn't take them long to get everything up to their floor and while Jensen was still moving packages inside their front door Jared parked the cart.

"So," Jared said as he leaned against the door, "you gonna open all those presents tonight?" He grinned and helped move a few of the smaller ones inside. What he hadn't told Jensen was that he had asked on the invitation for gifts for Jensen's favorite things: cooking, movies, books. Jared couldn't wait to see what people had come up with.

"Hmm. Do you want me too?" Jensen looked over at his husband, grinning slowly and shrugging out of his coat. There was a slight stain of frosting on his collar, they'd have to get the items dry cleaned to he hung it in the front closet to remind himself. "Are you going to help me?"

"Absolutely, whatever you want. You're in charge." Jared grinned and wrestled his way out of his jacket so he could hang it over Jensen's. He laughed when Jensen frowned. "What? They gotta be cleaned anyway." Tugging at his tie he shoved the pile of presents down the hall toward the living room.

"Jared, our friends and family bought these. It could be breakable." Jensen pushed playfully at Jared, grinning at him to get him to stop shoving at the presents with his foot. When Jared defiantly nudged more with his foot, Jensen grinned and swept his fingers across Jared's middle, pushing him once more. "Stop Jared." He laughed, shaking his head.

Raising an eyebrow Jared pushed a box along the wooden floor with his foot, hands dropping to his sides as he grinned.

"Hm, you think you're hilarious huh?" Jensen's eyebrows raised and he snagged Jared around the middle, dragging him away from the boxes. "Be nice to the presents Jared, they're meant for us and therefore you should not damage them." Jensen pulled at Jared's tie, getting it the rest of the way off. He laughed when it seemed like Jared would try to get away and nearly jumped on his back. "I'll wrestle you Padalecki, don't make me."

"Can. So. Beat. You." Jared grunted and spun around bending down and managing to haul Jensen up over his shoulder into a fireman's carry. Laughing he stood there, holding Jensen's ass. "Now what you gonna do?"

Jensen nearly squeaked, reaching down to smack Jared's ass as hard as possible. " _Jared_ ," he groaned and tried kicking his legs slightly, laughing at the odd thrill bursting through him at the way Jared so easily picked him up and man handled him.

"So, what do you want Mr. Padalecki? Open presents or go to bed?" Jared's fingers massaged Jensen's ass. He absolutely approved of the feel of the tighter fitting tux pants on Jensen's body. _Absolutely._

Eyes fluttering for a moment, Jensen pulled in a deep breath and shuddered. "Bed. Definitely bed. Presents can wait." It was the combination of Jared's hands on his ass, Jared's almost deep purr of his name, and the fact that his _husband_ was still carrying him. "Gonna carry me over the threshold of our bedroom then?" Jensen grinned, tugging at the back of Jared's shirt to untuck it and push his fingers under the fabric.

Jared staggered forward as Jensen's fingers started his heart racing. "Yeah, 'course I am. It's tradition, right?" Moving down the hallway, Jared was careful not to bump Jensen's head on anything even though his husband wasn't making it easy. After all, his hands had slipped down under the waistband of his pants and really... that made it a little tricky to concentrate.

As soon as he made it through the doorway to their bedroom Jared headed straight for the bed and flopped Jensen down on it. Laughing, he launched himself onto the bed and landed half over Jensen's chest, hands moving quickly to his husband's tie. "You have too many things on, but, this Tux? Hot. For the record."

Grinning, Jensen shifted beneath Jared, fumbling with the buttons on his husband's shirt, working around Jared's hands already down between them. "God, you really need to be naked now." Jensen grumbled and rocked his hips against Jared's body, teeth sliding across his lips before he pushed up to capture Jared's mouth in a hard kiss.

Jared's hands stopped their fumbling for the first few moments of the kiss. Heat flooded his body; just like always - it was just the way Jensen made him feel. It was like he was on fire and Jensen was cooling, soothing and fiery all at the same time.

Rolling back slightly, Jared kept his lips moving against Jensen's; sucking and licking, leaving a trail of kisses along his husband's bottom lip. Hands returning to the front of Jensen's shirt he tugged his tie the rest of the way off and threw it, chucking into the kiss when he heard something on the nightstand rattle.

"Jared," Jensen gasped softly and shifted along the mattress. His heart was still racing in the thundering happy little bubble from the day and he couldn't help resist rolling Jared over, straddling his hips and pulling at his shirt quickly to work on the buttons. "See, I can pin you. I win." Jensen laughed and ruffled Jared's hair because he liked seeing it out of place so much more than the slicked back look. Not that he minded that, really, Jared looked gorgeous period.

"MMm, 'cause this feels so much like losing." Jared smiled and stretched his arms high up above his head. When he brought his arms back down he let his hands settle on Jensen's thighs and stared up at him. "You're gorgeous, and you look so happy. Can we always stay this happy? Please?" Jared's smile wavered and his hands moved to undo the last of the buttons on Jensen's shirt. Pushing the material aside, he ran his palms over the smooth skin of his husband's chest.

"Yes." Jensen murmured without hesitation and shrugged out of the shirt, sliding back to pull Jared up and push his shirt off as well. "Sometimes, I look at you, and I just can't understand how I can feel so strongly about you." Jensen smiled briefly and lifted his shoulders, crawling over Jared's legs on his knees and leaning against his chest. "I love you so very much Jared, it's almost too much. Like my heart will explode."

"You've promised now - in front of all those people that you'll stay with me so I'm glad. Otherwise, awkward." Jared's hands moved restlessly, shoving at Jensen's shirt and pushing it back off his shoulders so his husband could shuck it off. Dropping his fingers to Jensen's belt, Jared leaned down and sucked hard on a patch of skin just below Jensen's collar bone. The heat of his husband's blood coming to the surface made Jared's blood run thicker in his veins, sluggish.

Half moaning, half laughing, Jensen shook his head. "Dude. Just, confessed my heart stopping love for you. I have a feeling the sticking around thing was assumed." He groaned softly and rocked his body against Jared's, sliding back and pushing Jared down on the mattress so he could pull at his waistline. Smirking down at his husband, Jensen curved his fingers around Jared's obvious arousal, massaging softly. "Could just get you off like this. Give Henry down at the dry cleaner's something to talk about."

" _Jesus_ ," Jared hissed. It was probably true. Hell, it was true even if Jared wouldn't admit it out loud. He lifted his hips up off the bed so that his dress pants could slide down over his hips. "I want you," he murmured as if there was any doubt. He was so hard already his cock was aching and the way Jensen was teasing him - he wasn't going to last long if the man wasn't careful.

Smiling fondly down at his husband, Jensen slid back so he could pull Jared's pants the rest of the way off and toss them to the side. He took the opportunity to push off his pants as well, climbing back over Jared, dipping down to press his lips along Jared's thigh, his hip, the middle of his chest, catching Jared's nipple for moment and pulling it up. "Anything specific you had in mind?" He murmured against Jared's neck, flicking his tongue over the pulse point.

"You always ask me that. Tonight. You decide. Whatever _you_ want." Jared's eyes fluttered closed and Jensen's lips worked his neck again and he moaned softly, hips shifting up under his husband.

"I don't always ask." Jensen laughed softly and pushed his hand under the pillow, grabbing the bottle of lube there and sliding back down Jared's body. He mapped his way down Jared's body with kisses and nips, marking random patches along his skin, flicking his tongue over Jared's nipple. He could spend hours worshiping Jared's skin, tasting every inch of him, making him writhe and twist along the bed sheets.

"Love the way your skin tastes." Jensen breathed against Jared's skin, eyes closing for a moment as he sucked at Jared's hipbone. He dragged his mouth open along his husband's skin, burrowing into the curls along the base of Jared's cock and breathing in his scent. Tongue snaking out, Jensen licked between Jared's balls, up along the underside of his cock.

Jared's fingers lifted to Jensen's hair, combing through the soft strands then gripping when the man's tongue dragged over the sensitive flesh of his cock. "God, Jensen... _fuck_." Jared's body jolted up, hips rocking forward to get _more_ of Jensen's tongue, _more_ of his mouth, _more_ of everything. "Never enough of you," Jared murmured.

Spreading his legs wider he shifted closer, muscles clenching as Jensen's tongue and mouth moved over his balls, his thighs, everywhere. Jared moaned, his breath caught in his chest and he dropped his hands to his husband's shoulders and dug his nails in hard.

Moaning softly at the salty taste explosion on his tongue, Jensen shifted closer, fingers digging into Jared's thighs to spread his legs further apart. He pushed at Jared's body, lifting his legs slightly and spreading out almost flat on the bed. The friction of his cock caught between him and blanket, a maddening pressure that wasn't nearly enough. He swallowed thickly at the prospect of tasting Jared everywhere, wanting to claim him _completely_ and finally caved under the desire.

He bit Jared's ass, grinning when he shifted away and half moaned, half squeaked. "Relax, I'm not going to hurt you." He laughed softly and used his thumbs to spread Jared's cheeks apart, wetting his lips before leaning forward to lick his way down from Jared's balls, sliding across his skin, tongue flicking once along the entrance and withdrawing. Tangy, slightly bitter, nothing Jensen couldn't adjust to. He sucked in a breath and laved his tongue harder along the puckered flesh, pressing insistently.

Jared made an embarrassing noise that was halfway between a moan and a whimper. "God-" Jensen had this way - everything he did - every single way he touched Jared sent lust and pleasure rocketing through his body so fast he could barely breathe. It was like being a stranger in his own skin; everything new and sensual. Jared's arms fell to the bed and he squirmed slightly torn between pulling away because of the overstimulation and pushing back into Jensen's tongue.

Jensen thrived off the way Jared reacted to him, constantly moving against Jensen's tongue, eagerly grinding down into him, begging for more. He moaned softly and pushed his finger up, sliding into saliva coated muscles.

Tongue still circling along the flesh, Jensen pushed his finger all the way in, sliding back and working his tongue into the muscle. Jensen moaned louder as want surged up in him, hips rocking down into the bed. Nudging Jared's legs even further apart, pushing his limits, Jensen shoved two fingers swiftly into Jared, spreading the entrance, shoulders shuddering as he forced himself not to just take Jared right then and there.

"Jensen-" Jared half choked and then growled softly. He shifted, hips rolling up then back as his body wrestled with the desire and heat that was pulsing through him. "Please." He always found himself here, here at this point where he just wanted Jensen's cock in him. It was like breathing - having the thrust, the burn and the connection. Pushing his head up off the bed he glanced down through bleary eyes to see Jensen's face; cheeks flushed with desire, black lashes spread over his cheeks. _God_. Jared's head fell back heavy and weak and he sighed out a long breath. "Jensen, please-"

"Love how you always want me." Jensen breathed the words along Jared's skin, eyes lust blown and half lidded as he watched his fingers spreading Jared. It made his stomach churn, shoulders tense and Jensen growled softly, pulling back and sitting up. He looked around for the bottle of lube for a moment, eyes turning back to his husband once he had the bottle in his grasp. There were a thousand ways he could have Jared and he never got tired of any of them, it was only a matter of how he wanted him _now_.

Dropping onto the bed beside his husband, Jensen slowly slicked his cock, eyes scanning along Jared's skin and drinking in the flush. "Want you to ride me," he murmured, dipping in to press his lips against Jared's shoulder.

"OhGod," Jared's voice was as weak as his pulse was strong. Rolling to the side he slung his leg over Jensen's and settled his ass just below his lover's cock. Shoving Jensen's hand away, Jared trailed a finger down the vein on the underside of his lover's rigid flesh. A smile twitched onto his lips as Jensen's hip rolled up into the touch. Licking his lips, Jared tilted his head and shifted forward curling his fingers around his husband's cock and sliding it back along his flesh.

Closing his eyes, Jared moaned as the head of Jensen's cock pushed at his entrance. He shifted up on his knees, panting, his chest rising and falling quickly. He wanted this, but more than he wanted Jensen inside him - he wanted to tease him; bring Jensen to the point of begging. He could feel the ridged head of his husband's cock slide into him, could feel the burning stretch and he froze. Leaning back on Jensen's thighs - Jared held himself there - clenching his muscles round the flesh and biting so hard on his bottom lip he tasted the coppery burst of blood.

"Jesus." Jensen gasped harshly and tried to thrust his hips up but got nowhere, Jared's weight successfully holding him down. Arms extending, Jensen curled his hands around Jared's arms and groaned as teasing pleasure rocked through him, not nearly enough, never enough.

"Jared. Just, do it. God, need to be in you." Jensen groaned, spine curving up off the bed slightly as the pressure around the head of his cock constricted and released, just barely sliding along more skin. "Please Jared. _God_." Jensen moaned loudly, hands tightening over Jared's skin.

Gasping, Jared let himself slide down onto Jensen's cock. Full and hard - _God_ \- Jared could feel every inch filling him up, pushing his limits. He shuddered as he sank back down onto Jensen's legs, muscles clenched tight.

Panting softly, eyes closed, Jared half-smiled and let his head fall back as his hands reached blindly for Jensen's. The fingers of his right hand managed to thread through the fingers of Jensen's left; the ring was cool and solid between their flesh.

Blinking his eyes open slowly, Jared leaned down to kiss Jensen's lips. He slid almost off his lover's cock, moaning into Jensen's mouth and rolling his hips down quickly to re-claim the hot flesh.

The brush of lips was soft and sweet, contrasting the constant flare of heat burning through Jensen every time Jared moved. He moaned softly and worked his hips up, meeting Jared's slide down, heels digging into the mattress to gain more leverage to move. Jensen's free hand slid along every inch of Jared he could reach, body shuddering at the cool air of the room then the surrounding heat of Jared around him.

"God I love you," Jensen gasped into the kiss, pressing up to deepen it, wanting to be connected to Jared in every way he could as they moved.

Angling his hips just right, Jared felt the next thrust up slid Jensen's cock _right_ where he wanted it. He fell apart in amidst moans and waves of pleasure; his body writhing on Jensen's cock, hips rolling urgently just to keep the mind-blowing sensation going.

"Jens-" he moaned long and loud, vision blurring, body aching and burning with lust and _want_. Rocking forward, then back, moving in time with the hard thrust of his husband's hips Jared keened softly, hardly able to catch his breath.

Jensen could hear his pulse racing in his hears, echoing Jared's moans and making his hips snap up harder. His hand dropped down to tighten around Jared's hip, pushing him harder down each time he pulled up, body snapping almost out of control. His chest rose and fell heavily with each labored breath and he forced his eyes to remain open just to see the pleasure on Jared's face, adding to the thrill knowing he was the reason behind it.

"So close," he gasped, eager and urgent, skin prickling as his orgasm pushed forward in time with the steady hard thrusts.

The way Jensen was slamming into him, Jared could hardly believe he hadn't come already. Heart racing, vision blurred and panting, he could feel sweat trickling down the small of his back. Another bruising thrust up from his husband and Jared's back arched, sending his hips slamming down onto Jensen's cock _hard_.

Again, his husband's flesh slid past his prostate and Jared cried out - losing his vision altogether in a swell of white. Barely able to hold himself up he fell forward slightly sucking in a deep breath, his weeping cock rubbed against Jensen's belly and Jared's world blew apart.

He came with such force it was just the right side of painful. His balls were tight, his cock throbbing out his release and with each pulse he could feel his body clench unforgiving around Jensen's cock. He fell forward, cock twitching between their sweat slick bodies - come still pulsing hot and wet against his flesh.

Jensen's hips snapped forward twice before he came, sucking in a large breath and releasing it with a moan. He could feel Jared nearly trembling on top of him and the moment he could begin to think mildly straight, he ran his hand softly along his damp back.

"God," Jensen panted softly, still twitching slightly from his orgasm, sinking back into the mattress under Jared's weight.

When he could finally move Jared slid his hands up around Jensen's neck, tucking them under his head and turning his face so their lips could meet in a long, slow kiss. He lost all track of time; only moaning softly when Jensen finally pulled free of him and shifted slightly underneath his weight.

Groaning softly as he slid back to pull out of Jared, Jensen pressed firm along the small of his back. He was quite content to keep Jared on top of him for the rest of the night. "Love you," he breathed, eyes already closing.

Jared sucked gently on Jensen's neck for a few moments before mumbling, "Love you, Mr. Padalecki."


	6. Chapter 6

Since the wedding Jensen had been running in a perpetual state of bliss. Even the crazy Monday shift with free drinks couldn't bring him down. So he was practically whistling when he and Stephanie slid into the car on Wednesday to head to her doctor's check up. She laughed softly at him, her own way of teasing and Jensen just grinned back, shrugging his shoulders.

He had all the reasons in the world to be so happy, a newly married man who had three nights in a row of mind blowing sex. Apparently even living together for a year didn't stop the newlywed phase that Chad had teased them about.

The doctor was the same one they'd had before and this time he didn't even bat an eye at Jensen's presence in the room. Jensen had waited outside for the initial check up; giving Stephanie privacy to openly voice any concerns she may have without seeing how worried it would make Jensen. Because it would, if he found out there was something wrong with Stephanie or the baby. Jensen tried to tell himself that was just his nature but he'd already mostly come to terms with his affection for the pair.

When he was shown back in Stephanie was prepped for the ultrasound. Without her usually baggy clothes, Jensen could see that the baby bump was a fair bit larger than he'd realized. He had no particular attraction to the girl but right then, with the swelling belly, Jensen thought she was kind of beautiful. He also thought that he needed to talk to Jared sooner rather than later but that was something for later pursuit.

"Would you like to know the sex of the baby Stephanie?" The doctor asked, telling Jensen without words that the man knew he wasn't the father or her Possessor.

"Yes, I think we both would." Stephanie smiled over at Jensen before looking back at the doctor.

Jensen slid closer so he could see the image on the screen. Before, at only eleven weeks, the baby was impossible to determine in shape, just the slight suggestion of a human. Now though, Jensen could see a head even before the doctor pointed it out. Arms and legs and little tiny fingers and toes displayed in the orangish quality of the 3D ultrasound machine. Jensen's heart leaped in his chest at the sight and he almost stood up to caress the image. Thankfully he schooled the gut reaction back in time not to look foolish.

"Well, I don't see a penis, so, it looks like you're having a girl." The doctor smiled warmly at Stephanie.

Jensen couldn’t really decipher the bottom part of the ultrasound but his mind registered _girl_ and he chuckled softly. "A girl, I bet she'll be just as beautiful as you Stephanie."

The doctor laughed as well as the baby on the screen twisted. "Looks like this little one already has a favorite person. Has she been moving a lot Stephanie?"

"Only, sometimes." Stephanie sighed softly and shook her head. "Can we get pictures this time?"

"Of course, there's a video too, if you'd like. I record most ultrasounds for educational purposes but we always offer the movie chip." The doctor explained as he pulled the machine's wand back then cleaned the gel off Stephanie's belly.

"Do you want the video Jensen?" Stephanie asked him quietly and Jensen looked up at her.

He'd suspected for awhile that she knew how his attachment was growing for the baby and his lips twitched in a slight smile. "Yeah. I'd like the video."

The doctor looked curiously at them for a moment before nodding. "I'll get the nurse to bring it in. Here are your pictures. I labeled things so you won't have to explain what is what okay?"

Stephanie took the images from the doctor but the moment he left the room she handed them to Jensen.

"You don't want to keep any of them?" Jensen asked uncertainly, glancing down at the pictures and back up.

"No, not really." Stephanie said quietly and pushed up to her feet, straightening out her clothes.

Ten minutes later they were back in the car, Jensen taking Stephanie home. Out of the corner of his eye he watched Stephanie open and close her mouth several times, clearly having something to say but uncertain how to begin. "Well, what is it?" Jensen finally asked with a small smile.

"I worry Jensen, that you're growing to attached to her. You know once she's born, she'll go to Purity. Maybe even me too." Stephanie whispered, voice small and timid.

Jensen's fingers curled on the steering wheel and he shook his head. "If Chad were going to send you back, he would have done it already right? And... I'm not, attached. I just, it's." He sighed and pulled up in front of Chad and Stephanie's building, turning in his seat to look at her. "Have you ever thought about adoption? I know it's not that common anymore but, well, there are some couples that can't have children."

"Like you and Jared." Stephanie said and it wasn't a question. Her eyes met his for a long moment before she looked away. "Does Jared even want kids?"

"I'm not sure. I’ve never asked him about it." Jensen admitted with a shrug and his eyes drifted down to the strip of ultrasound pictures on the floor between their seats. "I just think, maybe there are more options than giving her to Purity. Maybe she doesn't have to be one of those children."

"You should talk to Jared about this Jensen, before you get even more attached." Stephanie shook her head, reaching for the door handle. "I can teach you how to detach yourself; I've gotten pretty good at it."

Jensen was a bit stunned as Stephanie left, chest feeling heavy with Stephanie's words. He knew it was true, she really only touched her stomach when she wasn't feeling well, or if the baby moved. She never talked about it and Jensen thought she might not have agreed about learning the sex of the baby if he wasn't there too. It unsettled him that she could be that way and he needed some time to process things.

So he sent a text to Jared to let him know he was going home, taking the rest of the day off unless they needed him for anything at the cafe. When Jared sent a text back saying they were fine and that he should go relax, Jensen drove home.

-=-=-=-

Jared had a hell of a day but his spirits had picked up as soon as he arrived at their building. He still missed Jensen when they weren't together but he knew that his husband had been headed to a doctor's appointment with Stephanie. She was twenty weeks which seemed to mean something to Jensen but Jared wasn't entirely sure what it meant except that things were still progressing. The baby was healthy and Stephanie was healthy. Jared and Jensen had sort of drifted away from speaking about more than that.

Slipping his key card into the slot on the door Jared pushed it open. He was relieved to be home. Slipping out of his shoes he hung up his jacket and padded down the hallway. There was a strange shushing sound coming from the living room and Jared paused in the doorway to see Jensen sitting on the couch, leaning forward in rapt attention to whatever was playing on the video screen. "Hey, whatcha watching?"

"Oh um." Jensen looked up, surprised to see Jared there. He'd kind of lost track of time, having done a fair bit of research over the afternoon before settling back to watch the ultrasound video in its completion. "It's, the ultrasound video. From today."

Smiling softly, Jensen pushed up to his feet and stepped back to take Jared's hand, leading him to the TV. "See, you can tell in this one, that's her head, see her little nose? Her eyes aren't opened yet but look, right here." Jensen sighed softly when her lips parted and closed, drinking in the fluid around her for sustenance.

"Yeah," Jared tilted his head - not quite sure he could see everything that Jensen was looking at. "So - why do _you_ have the video?" He headed over to the couch and sat down, picking up one of Jensen's books and flipping through it.

Heart sinking slightly, Jensen frowned and turned away from the screen, moving to the player to eject the movie card. "Stephanie gave it to me. She, well, there's pictures too. It's a girl, did I mention that?" Jensen shrugged and carefully stored the card away, leaving it on top of the player. "She's really healthy; the doctor says everything's going really well." Jensen crossed slowly back to the couch, sitting on the edge.

"That's great." Jared looked up and smiled. "I know how worried you've been about Stephanie." Leaning back against the couch Jared closed his eyes and rubbed at his face. "You get any rest this afternoon?"

Biting down on his lip for a moment, Jensen tried to judge Jared's mood, considering if this was the right time to have this conversation. It was as much of an opening as he could hope for. "Well, kind of. I did some, researching. Was it really busy at the cafe?" He reached out to rub Jared's arm softly.

"It was but that's good right?" Jared opened his eyes and turned toward Jensen. "Researching?" He never knew quite what Jensen would get up to while he was out - there always seemed to be something that he wanted to learn about or some new recipe he was working on.

Wetting his lips nervously, Jensen turned to grab his e-reader, pulling up the pages he'd loaded. He couldn't really get his voice to work so he simply handed it to Jared and pushed off the couch. "I'll get you a drink," he called over his shoulder, pretending like he wasn't fleeing the room.

Jared tapped the screen and moved through some of the documents. _Adoption._ Everything he flicked through was about adoption. "Jensen? What's going on?" Jared _knew_ that his husband spending so much time with Stephanie was going to be a problem. "Has Stephanie been talking to you about the possibility of someone adopting Chad's baby?"

Sighing softly, Jensen grabbed a beer for Jared from the fridge and walked slowly back into the living room, opening the bottle and offering it to his husband. "No. She hasn't mentioned it at all. It's, something I've been looking into. And it's Stephanie's baby, not so much Chad's." Jensen said quietly, already sensing that this conversation wasn't going to be pleasant.

"So - why are you-" Jared's brow furrowed when he say the look on Jensen's face. "No. Oh no. You are not thinking about _us_ adopting this baby. _Jesus Christ._ I knew it. I knew you shouldn't be spending so much time with Stephanie. Chad should be taking her to all these appointments, not you. You're just feeling over attached because of all the videos and stuff. It makes sense. Right?"

Blinking in surprise by how adamant Jared was against the idea, Jensen shook his head. "I'm not just feeling attached. I've been thinking about it for awhile. And I, don't you want a child? This could be our only chance Jared. Who else is going to want to let two men adopt their child? Even if we could?" Jensen sighed and pursed his lips. "Just think about it Jared, don't shoot it down right away. Take some time, seriously think about it."

"It's just that - no - I mean, it's not that I don't want kids, a kid. But now? We've got the cafe and we just got married. We barely have enough time to see each other now. And what about the rules Jensen? We know how well it went last time I broke the rules. God, I can't even..." Jared ran a hand through his hair and drank some of his beer.

"Jensen, have _you_ really thought about this? What about Chad and Stephanie? How would they feel if they came over and saw her - what would she call them? My parents... my family has been so good about accepting you and I - I don't know..." Jared sighed and reached out to slip his hand over Jensen's thigh.

"I _have_ thought about it Jared, do you really think I would talk to you about this if I hadn't?" Jensen sighed and shook his head. "We can adopt legally. Despite what some people may think, our papers are official enough. We could make the baby happy. Your mom would be ridiculous happy about us having a kid, you know it. And Chad and Stephanie..." Jensen shrugged and rubbed along his neck. "I'm sure they'd rather us have the baby then Purity."

"You know that's what Chad would think? Aren't you overlooking that the choice is Chad's?" Jared raised his eyebrows.

"Why the hell is it _Chad's_ choice? He made up his mind awhile ago. He doesn't want her Jared; he wants nothing to do with her. It should be Stephanie's choice because she's the one who has to give birth to the baby. We could give her a real home. Yeah it might be tough but, we can make it work. I'll even give up my library for her." Jensen insisted, twisting his fingers together on his lap.

"Okay, before you lose your mind - I _meant_ \- legally it's Chad's decision. Don't be so quick to accuse me; you know I don't think like that. It doesn't matter what you think about whose choice it _should_ be, the fact remains that it _is_ Chad's choice. You and I could get in serious trouble over this and someone in your position..." Jared shook his head. "I can't risk losing you Jensen. Not that."

"It's not like I'd steal the baby." Jensen grumbled and sank back on the couch, shaking his head. His eyes slid over to the ultrasound pictures to the side of him and he frowned, looking away. "You don't want this at all do you?" He whispered quietly, throwing clenching tightly.

"I never said that, Jensen. But I won't do anything that puts what you and I have in danger. I can't. I'm sorry. Just, how about we let Chad take over the appointments and stuff. Maybe you should take a break from it." Jared's heart was breaking. He hated saying no to Jensen, denying him anything was almost impossible. But this was a whole mess of trouble he just wasn't prepared for.

"Okay." Jensen nodded and pushed up to his feet, picking up the ultrasound pictures there. He didn't want to fight about it, not when things were so good, so Jared was probably right about detaching himself now. Jensen hadn't even realized how much he'd warmed to the idea, grown fond of a child that wasn't even born yet until he felt the sharp prick of tears.

Shaking his head he moved to the movie player to grab the ultrasound video. "So what do you want to do tonight? I know you were trying to work on some new pieces." Jensen pushed past the slight ache in his chest, telling himself that Jared's reasoning was right and he'd never force him into a decision if he wasn't comfortable with it.

"Jensen?" Jared held his hand out. "Come sit with me please." He could _see_ how upset his husband was and he wasn't going to leave things like that. They had come too far, gotten to know each other and tried hard to get to where they were, more comfortable with their differences.

"I just, need a minute." Jensen kept his back to Jared as he wiped at his cheeks and shook his head. He stared down at the tiny little girl slightly blurred in the pictures, trying to imagine what kind of life she'd be forced to live. Maybe some part of him was so drawn to her because he'd never had a choice either. He was born to a corporation, spending year after year living behind white walls, never knowing how wonderful it could be _outside_. But now he did know and this poor, helpless little child would never get that chance.

Shaking his head again, Jensen turned and slowly headed for the door of the living room. "I understand Jared, why it's not something you can be okay with right now." He whispered the words, hesitating between the living room and the hallway. "I just need to, you know, separate myself from the idea. It's okay. I'll start dinner." Jensen headed out of the room to his library, not quite able to bring himself to throw away the pictures just yet.

Sighing, Jared pushed up off the couch and headed down that hallway. Leaning against the Library door frame he watched Jensen's back for a few moments. "It was mean of me to say you shouldn't be around Stephanie and go to her appointments and stuff. If you want to do that - it's up to you. I'm just worried about you. I wish I knew how to fix this without you getting hurt. Can we just. Look. I'm not saying I don't want a family. I just don't think that I can say yes to this right now."

Taking a few hesitant steps into the room Jared smiled sadly. "When you're sad, it's supposed to be me you come to, you know? To make you feel better. Kind of breaks my heart when you do the opposite."

Sighing softly Jensen set the pictures and movie down on the side table by his chair and shrugged. "I was foolish for even considering this before speaking to you. So very foolish, I even starting thinking of nam-" Jensen cut himself off with a sharp inhale and pursed his lips. "Well. This is a marriage and you don't make it work by forcing your partner into things they're not ready for. I said I understand and I do. You just have to give me a little time to adjust to the..." Jensen ran the back of his hand along his cheek and blew out a low breathe. Adjust to the way his heart felt like it was breaking he supposed.

Turning to Jared he smiled briefly through the tears and stepped forward to hug him, pulling back a moment later. "It's fine Jared. Really. It's okay. I'm sorry for not bringing this up sooner so we could have spared all the dramatics. Now really, we should just, move on." Jensen nodded and squeezed Jared's arm softly, staring down at his feet.

It felt all wrong but Jared was in over his head with this one. He knew exactly why Jensen felt like he wanted to help the baby; it was obvious. This baby girl was going to be sentenced to the same fate that Jensen had been. Knowing his husband's heart as he did, Jared knew that Jensen wouldn't want to subject another child to that. "I love you," he said softly.

"Me too," Jensen whispered and squeezed Jared's arm a final time before heading out of the room. "Go relax, I'll let you know when dinner is ready." Jensen was tapping into that part of him from before to sort through the swirl of emotions and turn his mind off ideas of a little girl with pretty blond hair and sparkling blue eyes. He told himself it was better that this happened now, before the pregnancy went along much further, and things would be better once he accepted the idea that Jared wasn't ready. His husband took priority in his life after all, and Jensen would never do anything to compromise that.

-=-=-=-

Detaching himself from Stephanie was probably one of the most painful things Jensen had ever done. Thankfully he had work to bury himself in. The night before he had managed to work through most of his emotions and had assumed he would be okay upon seeing the girl again but it wasn't really the case. It made him think about the unborn child all over again and the minute she stepped into the shop Jensen brushed past Jared and headed into the backroom to work on a fresh batch of cinnamon rolls. When Jared popped in to ask if he needed a hand Jensen ensured he was fine and went about occupying his mind and body with familiar work.

Avoiding Stephanie throughout the course of the day wasn't too hard, Jensen mostly stuck to the back or behind the counter helping customers. Usually he'd bring her drinks or pastries of some sort, instead he sent Amanda over to her with the items.

Jensen blamed the way his heart still felt heavy for the difficulty he was having smiling or joking back with his co-workers. He didn't want to be this way but it was almost as if Jensen had signed the final seal on the child's life, like he had been given an option to spare her a world of being a lab rat but his own hesitancy in talking to Jared about it left her ill-fated. Maybe if he'd spoken with Jared the first time he had the idea, they would logically been able to sort through the facts.

Jensen might have even pushed the issue if he hadn't seen the fear in Jared's eyes. His husband was _terrified_ at the very idea of having a child right then and there and Jensen hated the fact that anything he might want to do would make Jared scared like that. He also hated that he could make Jared sad in any way so when he caught his frown halfway through the day, the worried eyes that were tracking him skirt purposefully wide to avoid Stephanie in the cafe, Jensen knew he needed to shake the feelings off.

So he spent the afternoon thoroughly cleaning the kitchen, taking everything apart, and finding comfort in the act of cleaning and organizing. It was grunt work, made him sweaty and dirty, but Jensen was at least satisfied by the act. In some way. But then of course he went out front to gather money from the work day and Stephanie was lingering by the counter, lips slightly turned down.

"Hey Jensen. Is everything okay?" She asked softly and half stepped toward him.

"M'fine." Jensen muttered and turned quickly to scrub along the counter,

"Are you-"

"I said I'm fine." Jensen cut her off sharply, looking up when he felt movement still around him. Chad was to his side and his eyes narrowed protectively. Jensen sighed and shook his head; not glancing at Jared who he knew was just on the other side of him as he turned to head into the back once more.

Of course Jensen wasn't upset with Stephanie, there would be no reason to be, but Jared had been right in his suggestion to put distance between them. Jensen needed to sever the connection and when Stephanie had the baby - sent her to Purity - then he'd repair things with her. Then he could explain everything that happened and Stephanie was just amazing enough to forgive him. She would have been a wonderful mother, if any of her situations were different.

By the time they got home Jensen was exhausted from trying to keep himself from breaking down throughout the course of the day. But Jared was still giving him worried eyes so Jensen pushed himself through normal activities. He showered while Jared worked on his most recent painting, cooking dinner afterward. They ate on the couch and watched a movie because Jensen really wasn't feeling up to having a full conversation. There wasn't much he could say really.

That night Jensen pressed into Jared's side until the man fell asleep, listening to him breathe softly, measuring the quiet inhales and exhales, then finally rolling away onto his side and staring at the opposite wall. If Jensen closed his eyes he could imagine a little girl - in his mind they named her Alexis or Keira or something similar - and he could almost see the warm glow of Jared's smile as he picked her up, swung her around, and cradled her close. Jensen could even hear her soft laugh, her call of _daddy_ , her quiet requests for a bed time story.

Jensen sucked in a sharp breath and blinked away tears, burying his head into the pillow and willing sleep to come. Before it did he felt Jared's arm loop around his middle and pull him close once more and this time Jensen stayed here.

The next day wasn't much easier than the day before. Jensen was beginning to grow a little more accustomed to the idea however and he didn't have to flee the room when Chad showed up with Stephanie in tow. It helped that Chad wasn't working, had just come in for his paycheck since it'd been agreed that he'd work the entire weekend. Jensen apologized to Stephanie for his attitude the day before then left the front room before she could ask him much more about it.

He spent most of the day in the back office, using the training he'd received from Purity to balance the books, pay the companies - and his and Jared's - bills and then more bills all done electronically, money transferring from one bank to another. It was mind numbing work but familiar and Jensen zoned out under the weight of numbers and calculations. He made a vow to himself to stop daydreaming about having a child. When Jared was ready he would tell him and Jensen knew that patience only led to good things. After all he'd had to wait three additional years to finally be placed with Jared and that was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

Jensen hadn't even realized how the day passed until one of their new workers - Greg - stopped by the office door to say goodnight. He hadn't even left the chair throughout the course of the day, catching up on things that had gone at the wayside for too long. Jensen groaned when he stood and stretched. Jared had already cleaned up the front room and taken the money to the safe so they left shortly after, stopping by a takeout place for sandwiches and salads because Jensen just didn't have it in him to cook.

Once more they ate on the couch and it was probably the first time all day that Jensen realized there was something weighing heavily between them. Though it wasn't a mystery as to what that thing he could, he already knew, but it hurt his heart that he was still causing Jared pain. With a soft sigh Jensen curled against his husband and silently promised him that he'd be better soon, even if he couldn't say the words out loud.

"I don't think we've said a word to each other since we left the cafe," Jensen said quietly, later that night when they were pulling the covers down and climbing into bed. It was sad to know it was true, and wouldn't have been so horrible if the silence was something comfortable. Instead it was just that, silence, quiet and heavy and Jensen frowned down at the blankets.

Jared sighed and tucked his arms behind his head. "Don't know what to say. Just know I don't have the right words." He had watched Jensen all day, watching him try to withdraw from Stephanie. His husband was obviously torn. It was clear that Jensen was trying to force himself to feel _less_ , disconnect and Jared's heart was breaking just watching him.

It made Jensen's heart pinch to know he'd put Jared in a place where he wasn't even sure how to talk to him. "I'm sorry. It's all going to be okay, this weekend will be good, it'll give me time to just-" Jensen shrugged and slid under the blankets, rolling onto his side to face Jared. "I did apologize to Stephanie for my behavior."

"It's not that. You know she'll forgive you - she was worried about you too. Everything will be fine, maybe we just both need some time. I just-" Jared shook his head. He was lost.

Every fiber of his being wanted to comfort Jensen and tell him what he wanted to hear - that they could figure out a way to raise the baby; but it just wouldn't work. Jared just saw it as another thing that would give _someone_ a reason to try and take Jensen away from him. Maybe he was paranoid, maybe he didn't have all the facts that Jensen had but it was risky.

"What sort of time?" Jensen asked quietly, curling his fingers around his blanket and tucking it up around him. Part of him wished he'd never had these thoughts, never brought it up. Here they were, less than a week out from their wedding and Jensen felt completely responsible for the wedge driven between them. Swallowing thickly, Jensen closed his eyes and slowly exhaled. "I can be better. I promise I will be."

"Hey. Look at me." Jared turned quickly and pressed his fingers to Jensen's jaw, turning his face so their eyes could meet. "I do _not_ mean time apart, or away or anything like that okay? I just mean some time has gotta pass for us to both be okay. It's okay that you're upset about all this, hell, Jensen it's perfectly normal to want something like this and be upset ... that ... well, it's just we need time. Time _together_ though, okay?"

"Okay." Jensen nodded and shifted closer to Jared, sighing softly. "I don't like that I'm hurting you though. I guess I didn't even realize how attached I was. I just, I keep seeing all these silly things when I close my eyes. Like you playing and laughing with her, and bringing her to the cafe so I can teach her how to cook." Jensen smiled briefly then shook his head. "I should have talked to you right away, and then I never would have been thinking these things."

"I didn't say never, Jensen. I just - there's nothing more important to me than you, what you and I have and I get scared." Jared shivered and pulled Jensen into his arms. The very thought of something taking Jensen away from him made his heart clench.

"Why do you think you'll lose me if we adopt a baby?" Jensen asked quietly, leaning against Jared's body, sighing softly.

"Not _a_ baby, _this_ baby. Jensen, Chad doesn't want the baby and legally it's his choice. If we cross too many lines..." He pressed his lips to Jensen's hair, inhaling the familiar scent. "Chad doesn't believe the same things that you and I do. We know he loves Stephanie even if he's too stubborn to admit it, but this baby - that's different. He doesn't want it and you know that means it's _his_ decision. You and I have had this conversation. Do I agree? No. Do I think Stephanie should decide what to do with the child? Yeah, I think I do. Fact is. She's not going to. In her and Chad's life, it's not her role. If something goes wrong between them I don't want something to happen to you and I. I don't know. I'm just scared."

"Okay." Jensen whispered. Even if he didn't completely agree with all the statements he knew it was probably true and he really just wanted everything to be better again. Plus he'd been channeling his Companion self constantly over the last two days and this was likely a fall out from that. "You're right. It is Chad's choice." He breathed softly and closed his eyes, laying his head on Jared's chest.

"Do you really want a baby? Or... do you just want this one?" Jared kept his voice soft, gentle.

"This one." Jensen answered honestly and buried his head harder into Jared's chest to stifle the prick of tears. "It's the first time I even considered that children could be a possibility for us. For me." He tightened his arm around Jared and sniffed softly.

"There are other ways you know. I mean, if we decided later that we wanted a kid. There are official channels. We could apply for a regular adoption, I mean there are still some people who have children and... and..." They both knew how difficult it was to find children. There were still some people Jared’s age who made stupid choices and ended up with an unwanted pregnancy.

"Yeah." Jensen nodded and closed his eyes, lips pressing against Jared's chest. "Will you ever believe me when I say it's okay? Because I do understand. I'll be over it in a few days." Jensen shrugged and wished it was easier to believe Jared's reassurances that they'd try again later.

"I'll believe you, when it _is_ okay." Jared smiled and brushed his fingers over Jensen's hair.

"Jared," Jensen pulled back slightly and looked up at him. "I just, you know I like to be honest with you. So... I honestly don't think I'll be completely over this until Stephanie has the baby and she's gone."

Jensen sighed and dropped his gaze. "But, I mean, it won't change anything, except I just won't go with Stephanie to her appointments. And maybe she shouldn't, spend her whole day at the cafe anymore or something. That's incredibly selfish isn't it?" Jensen frowned and flopped down on his back.

"It's not selfish - but I think. Well, I think it's good for Stephanie to be there. I don't know. You do whatever you need to do and I'll back you up. Maybe you could do some work here for a while. Your research, making up new recipes. I've almost lost my belly."

Jensen didn't want to tell Jared he had no real desire to work up new recipes, he was sure it would come back eventually. "Okay." Jensen breathed and rolled pressing his back into Jared's chest. "Can we sleep now?" He whispered, closing his eyes and dragging Jared's arm over his middle and lacing their fingers together.

"Yeah," Jared murmured. Sighing, he pressed his lips to Jensen's shoulder.

-=-=-=-

Jared tossed his phone on the bed and headed out into the hallway. "Jensen?" He listened and heard his husband's voice in the Library. Padding across the hall he poked his head around the door frame. "What you doing?"

Tucking the strip of pictures into his book, Jensen closed it and set it to the side, pushing up out of his chair. "Nothing, just reading. Did you finish the piece you were working on?" He smiled softly at Jared as he crossed the room to him, fingers sweeping up to rub at a small drop of blue paint that had somehow made it to Jared's chin.

"You busy? Wanna go out for a while?" Jared smiled and slid his fingers over Jensen's hip.

"Where to?" Jensen asked softly, leaning into Jared's warmth and smiling warmly up at him.

"Stephanie called; they want us to come over for drinks this afternoon since it's one of those rare times when we're all actually off work." Jared grabbed Jensen's hand and pulled him toward the door. "Come on, you wanna change or anything?"

The smile slid off Jensen's lips and he pulled his hand back, stopping just in the hallway. It had been a month since the decision was made against trying to adopt Stephanie and Chad's baby and for the most part Jensen thought he was doing better about the whole thing. But most of that being better involved not being around Stephanie and, as much as it killed him to see her sad face whenever he made a point of steering clear, he had to do this to keep himself from any further attachments. "I don't want to go to Chad's place."

"What? Why? Jensen it's been months since we went over there. Come on, it'll be fun. Stephanie said she's baked some kind of crazy pie thing and Chad was actually in a good mood. I could hear him laughing in the background." Jared knew exactly why Jensen didn't want to go over to Chad's. It was no secret to anyone that he was avoiding Stephanie, but Jared figured it was time to move forward.

"I said I don't want to go. You go, have a good time. Just tell them I'm not feeling well. I have some things to work on anyway." Jensen shrugged and leaned back against the wall, staring down at the ground. He knew what would happen if he went. Every day Stephanie was looking more and more pregnant and now it was impossible for her to hide it. And Jensen's heart still clenched whenever he just saw the girl, he couldn't spend a night hanging around her and not feel the ache afterward.

"Jensen. They're our friends. They miss us." Jared sighed. "Friends go over to each other's places and hand out, they drink and have fun. We need to go do that."

"I can't be around h- there. I can't go there. I don't want to. Please, forgive me but it's just not something I'm capable of alright?" Jensen shook his head and scratched absently along his arm. "Seriously, you go, have a good time, drink with Chad or whatever and I will stay here."

"Jensen. This has to stop. You're avoiding Stephanie and that's not gonna make anything any easier. She misses you." Jared ran a hand through his hair. He was frustrated. Sure, he knew that Jensen was still hurting but Stephanie didn't have a lot of friends and most of Chad's friends treated her like ... well, like a companion. With Jared and Jensen - Stephanie was someone different.

Staring up at his husband, Jensen's lips thinned out before he shook his head and brushed passed him to head into the bedroom. "Fine. I'll get changed."

Groaning softly, Jared followed his husband. "No, Jensen. I'm sorry. Nevermind. Look, I'll go over by myself. I'll just tell them you weren't feeling up to a visit." Tugging his painting shirt up off his head, Jared grabbed a clean one and pulled it on. "I'll be back later."

"Jared." Jensen stood by the bed, staring at him with slightly wide eyes, heart clenching painfully in his chest. "This kills me you know? Stephanie is one of the closest friends I have and I hate that I can't be around her without feeling miserable. I'm sorry, I know you're disappointed." Jensen looked away, hating the idea of sitting around by himself in the apartment for the rest of the day just because he wasn't strong enough to face Stephanie.

Jared shrugged and raised his eyebrows. "Well, imagine how Stephanie feels." Jared picked up his phone off the bed and stuffed it in the pocket of his jeans. "Anyway. I'll have my phone if you need anything. Don't worry; if we drink I'll crash there." Turning he headed over to the dresser and picked up his key card.

"Okay." Jensen whispered and turned around to hide the prick of tears, feeling stupid and foolish. "I'm just going to go to the cafe. I'll see you later." Jensen crossed to the closet, pulling out his work clothes.

"Great. Enjoy yourself." Jared headed out of the bedroom and down the hall. The last thing he wanted to do was spend the day away from Jensen but he missed his friends. It seemed pretty damn unfair to him that he had to choose.

Pulling his jacket on he headed out and closed the door behind him.

-=-=-=-

Jared banged on Chad and Stephanie's door until it opened. Stephanie peered up at him and smiled - probably wondering why he didn't use his code to get it. Hell, it felt good to bang on the door for a little while. "Stephanie. Hi."

"Hey Jared, where's..." Stephanie pulled the door open and frowned then sighed. "No Jensen today?" She stepped back to let him in.

"Nah, he decided to go into work. You're stuck with me." Shrugging out of his jacket Jared hung it up on the coat rack. "How you doing?" His eyes moved down over the swell of Stephanie's stomach, it was quite noticeable now. No hiding it anymore.

"I'm fine, thank you for asking." Stephanie nodded and gestured down the hall. "You know where Chad is, can I get you anything to drink?"

"Yeah, something _very_ strong." Jared scratched at the back of his neck and headed down the hall to their living room. "Chad. You're a sight for sore eyes. How's it going man?"

"Dude you fuckin' see me every day." Chad laughed and glanced behind Jared for a moment before pushing up to head to the bar and get a bottle of strong liquor. "I'm good though. You though, look like shit."

Jared glanced around looking for Stephanie. "He didn't want to come over. He's... well, he finds the baby thing hard." He shrugged. It wasn't like the _baby_ wasn't hard for everyone. Chad in particular. "Just needs some space I guess. It sucks. And I hate not being with him. But - you know, you'll do." Jared smiled and sank down on to the couch.

Bringing the bottle over to the couch, Chad dropped down and shrugged. "Well you know how I feel on the matter. Get fuckin' drunk and don't think about it. Whatever the fuck Jensen's issue is, he'll get over it. It's not in his nature to hold a grudge or whatever." Chad offered Jared a full glass with a half smirk.

"I guess." Jared looked at Chad out of the corner of his eye. "Can I ask you a question?" He shifted slightly and took a sip of his drink.

"You bet." Chad laughed and tipped his drink back, eyes fixed on Jared.

"What have you. What are you guys gonna do with the baby when it's born?" He hadn't asked Chad directly since they'd had their last argument about Stephanie's pregnancy. Jared had been assuming that the baby would be going back to Purity but Chad had surprised him in the past.

"It's going to Purity." Chad shrugged and ran his finger along the rim of the glass. "Why?"

"Oh, just wondering what your official decision was. Jensen's pretty- Well, he's just attached. He's got this idea in his head that he and I should have a kid and man, I hadn't even thought about it yet.

Chad's eyebrows lifted, eyes slightly wide. "What? You mean like, he wants this kid? God you guys just fucking got married. Plus like, the cafe takes up all your time. How the hell would you handle a kid with that?"

"That's what I said. We hardly have enough time for anything now - and it's yours and that would be weird. Would it? Would it be weird?" Jared pulled his leg up on the couch and leaned back against the arm of the chair. "It would be weird."

"I don't know man. I don't really have any, I mean." Chad shrugged and sighed hand running up through his hair. "Can't really say I've got any attachments in any way."

"I think it would be sweet," Stephanie said softly and shifted forward to lay a plate of appetizers on the table in front of them, small smile on her face. "But you’re right, your time is very precious at this point. Is that-" Stephanie frowned and rubbed her fingers absently along her stomach. "Is that the reason he's avoiding me?"

Smiling sadly, Jared ducked his head down. "Yeah. He's pretty, well, he's upset because of what will happen. I mean, we both know it's none of our business but I think he got too attached - even was thinking about her as a kid and..." Jared sighed and bit down on his bottom lip. He'd never been so stuck about anything before.

"I knew." Stephanie nodded and sat along the edge of the couch, sighing softly. "I could see it on his face. But I knew he hadn't spoken to you either. I think he's maybe a little, idealistic, about the whole thing."

"I think it's fucking ridiculous." Chad huffed and held a hand out toward Jared. "No offense man but god, he can't just push that on you. You nineteen years old, you should just take a few years then do whatever with kids if you even _want_ that. You did tell him this right Jared?"

"Whoa. He didn't push anything on me. In fact, the reason he's pulling away from Stephanie is because of what I said to him so don't make him out to be some bad guy here." Jared threw back his drink and slid the empty glass toward Chad. "You know what Jensen's like. He's got a heart like no one I've ever met and... anyway."

"Dude, he is pushing it on you." Chad shook his head roughly and refilled Jared's glass, sliding it toward him. "I see you two all the fucking time. He mopes around and you watch him and mope about that. It's like a fucking guilt trip."

Stephanie sighed and pushed up to her feet, swaying for a moment and catching Chad's hand as he moved to extend it toward her. She smiled softly at him before stepping back. "Make sure you boys eat something."

Chad watched Stephanie go then looked back at Jared. "You're miserable as fuck, I can tell. So seriously, consider this."

"I'm _miserable as fuck_ because my husband is _miserable as fuck_. It's not a guilt trip Chad. He just - he cares. Don't you care at all?" Jared was _so_ tired of fighting about the baby. It didn't seem to matter where they were or who he was talking to he felt like he was defending someone’s point of view.

"I care about Stephanie." Chad said quietly and shook his head. "Whatever man. I'll shut up about it. Let's just relax and have a good time. You look like you could use it."

"Just pour me another drink. That's a good start." Jared tried a smile and failed miserably.

-=-=-=-

Jared stared out the window of that cab. He stared because once he'd managed to get _in_ the backseat he let his head fall against the window and that was where it had stayed. He was drunk. There was no question about that - but he'd wanted to be home with Jensen. On and off all evening he and Chad had tiptoed around the subject of the pregnancy. Chad thought Jensen was pushing Jared into something he didn't want. Jared thought Chad was full of shit. Stephanie came out every so often to try and get them to eat or drink less or something. She kept taking Jared's glass away and he figured it was some plot to get him to stay sober.

When the car finally pulled up in front of Jared's building he could see his husband standing outside. "Jensen!" He yelled and the driver told him to simmer down. " _That_ is my husband Mister." Jared shoved at the door handle then got distracted by swiping his thumb over the payment scanner. He leaned out the open window. “Jensen!”

Shaking his head with a soft smile, Jensen waited for the driver to pull to a stop and pulled the door open, helping Jared out. "Hey. Hold on for just a second." Jensen waited until he thought Jared might be able to stand before dipping down to check that Jared had paid. When he stood again, he eyed Jared and half smiled. "Can you walk?"

"Of course I can walk. How do you think I got here?" Jared pushed his hair off his forehead and swayed forward toward Jensen. "I didn't want to be away from you," he whispered entirely too loudly for it to be a secret.

"I see that." Jensen looped his arm around Jared's middle and led him toward the door. Stephanie called him twenty minutes ago, waking him from a on-and-off slumber and he'd already had an idea what it was about. "Come on, let's get you in bed." Jensen leaned forward to swipe the key card, balancing Jared as he pulled the door open.

"It was all baby, baby, baby and can't have the baby and Jensen wants the baby and Stephanie - she _really_ missed you Jensen. _She_ likes you, man. She likes you a lot. Everybody figured out you want the baby you know?" Jared slung both his arms around Jensen and kissed his cheek. "Did you know that? That everyone knows?"

"Fantastic." Jensen muttered and guided them down the hallway to the elevator. "How much did you have to drink?" He didn't think Jared would remember but he'd been anticipating a drunk husband anyway, though part of him figured Jared would just stay at Chad's.

"Stephanie kept taking our glasses away. And Chad was _so_ bossy. God." Jared leaned heavily against his husband. "He said you're pushing me and I said you're not and Stephanie was worried. Did I mention Stephanie was worried?" Jared took a deep breath and tried to stop the hallway from spinning.

"You did." Jensen nodded and led Jared down to their apartment, letting them in. "I'm sorry I worried her. I'll apologize to her soon." Jensen shrugged and helped Jared out of his jacket as they got inside. "And I'm sorry Chad was bossy. Now let's get you some water and some medicine and into bed, okay?"

"No medicine." Jared shook his head and regretted it almost instantly when everything started to swirl around him. "I drank too much. Do you _know_ how much I miss you when we're not together. Is it gonna be like that our whole lives do you think?" Jared struggled with his shoes and managed to get them off. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes for a few moments until it started to feel like the floor was tilting.

Running his hand softly through Jared's hair, Jensen sighed quietly and shook his head. "Who knows. Maybe. You'll regret not having the medicine in the morning." Jensen said quietly and pulled Jared from the wall, leading him down the hall to their bedroom. "Did you manage to eat anything at all?"

Jared shook his head and reached out to grab Jensen's hand. "I hate it when we're apart; it makes my stomach all weird. Do you think I'm too young?"

"Too young for what?" Jensen asked quietly and turned toward his drunk husband, pulling his shirt slowly up as Jared's arms swayed up. "I think you're perfect the way you are. Just like this, drunk and all." Jensen smiled and shook his head.

"That's because you love me." Jared grinned and peered at Jensen through his bangs. "To have a kid. Am I too young? Chad says I'm too young. What do you think?" Jared leaned forward as soon as his hands were freed from his shirt and slid his arms around Jensen's neck.

"I don't think numbers really matter. It's a maturity issue right?" Jensen shrugged and kissed the corner of Jared's lips, pushing at his jeans. "Let's not talk about this alright? One day you'll be ready, we'll discuss it then." Jensen helped Jared out of his pants, standing up slowly. "To bed with you."

"I asked Chad about the baby. 'Cause I know you want it. Her. I asked. He says he's giving her to Purity and that it would be stupid to let us have her." Jared reached up and cupped Jensen's cheek. "I don't think it's stupid, you know that right? I think you would be a freakin' awesome Dad. For real. Like, you'd be better than my Dad and Chad's dad and most Dads."

"Jared. We need to stop talking about this." Jensen half gasped, eyes fluttering slightly. It hurt more than he expected, hearing Chad thought the idea was stupid. Any last hopes he may have been harboring vanished. "It's done and over. Okay? So let's just go to bed and you can sleep this off and have a massive headache in the morning. I'll make you a nice fattening breakfast." Jensen nudged Jared toward the bed.

Jared sat down hard on the bed and tugged on Jensen's hands. "But that's the thing, Jensen. It's important to me. Are you listening? I _asked_ him. I wanted to make you happy 'cause I've been so - it hurts watching you like this. I _did_ ask. I tried. You know that right?" Jared closed his eyes against the prickle of tears. He loved Jensen so much it scared it him sometimes.

Pursing his lips, Jensen looked toward the side for a long moment and stroked Jared's hair. "Thank you for asking. Thanks for trying." Jensen nodded and pulled the blanket back, tugging Jared up and helping him back down. He wondered if Jared would remember this in the morning, and part of him wished he was just as drunk because it would be nice not to feel for awhile. Bending down to kiss Jared's temple, Jensen smiled and shook his head. "Goodnight Jared, I love you. Get some sleep."

"You stay, please. Don't go. I came all the way home 'cause I don't like being away. Apart." Jared's eyes were already closing and his fingers were moving gently on Jensen's arm.

"Just going to get undressed." Jensen said softly and detached himself from Jared's grip. By the time he got undressed and turned the light off, sliding under the blanket and curling against Jared's side, his husband was already passed out. Jensen pressed his lips to Jared's shoulder and closed his eyes, taking comfort from man coming back home for the night.


	7. Chapter 7

Jensen stared down at the movie case in his hands, blinking slowly. He knew what it was; he'd gone through so much work to get it, even if he knew he probably shouldn't have. Some part of him wanted to know though, this time, just one more look because in a few weeks time Stephanie would have her little girl and Jensen would never get to know what she looked like. In the months since their decision had been reached though, Jensen was really doing a lot better, he could even sit and talk with Stephanie, as long as the baby conversation was clearly avoided.

Only now, here Jensen stood in front of the TV, putting himself back in that place all over again. He told himself it was just for this moment, just something to satisfy a curiosity and in a few weeks the baby would be gone for good and that would be that.

Sucking in a sharp breath Jensen slid the movie card in and stepped back, grabbing a chair to bring it close to the TV screen. The gentle whooshing and the baby's heartbeat filled the speakers and Jensen's eyes almost instantly watered. She was so much bigger now, cheeks full and chubby, and glowing orange in the 3D ultrasound image. Jensen's heart thudded heavily in his chest when the girl's lips lifted in a slight smile. "God." He breathed, surprised enough to reach forward and touch the screen. He hadn't even realized they could smile at thirty seven weeks.

Jensen wasn't even aware of the tears on his cheeks as he watched chubby little fingers slide liquid slow up to her head, rubbing across her eyes, dropping lower. His heart literally felt like it might _burst_ as he watched her suck her thumb into her mouth, pulling off the protective fluid around her. Jensen caressed her nose on the screen and sighed heavily. He shouldn't have watched this; it hurt worse than it ever had before.

Jared hadn't meant to spy on Jensen or anything. It was just that he looked so caught up in watching the video. Jared _knew_ what he was watching, he could hear the familiar whoosh whoosh of the baby's heartbeat.

He watched until he saw tears on his husbands face then he moved up behind Jensen and slid his arms over the man's shoulders. "Why you doin' this to yourself, Jensen?" Squeezing his eyes closed, Jared pressed his lips to his husband's temple. Reaching down Jared took the controller for the video and turned it off.

"I just wanted to see." Jensen blinked at the blank screen, wanting the video back almost instantly. "Did you see her smile?" He whispered and closed his eyes, wiping at his cheeks. "I didn't know they could smile that little, just the tiniest little thing. Did you see it?" Jensen turned slightly, looking for the controller through blurry eyes. "You should see it."

"No more." Jared kneeled down and slid his hands up Jensen's thighs. "Don't do this." Jared's heart was aching for his husband. "Stop. Jensen, I know you're hurting but there's nothing we can do. I... Jensen - help me, I don't know what to do. I feel like you're hurting so much and I don't know what to do about it." Reaching up Jared brushed his thumb through Jensen's tears. "Please tell me what to do."

"There's nothing you can do." Jensen said quietly and turned away from screen, staring at Jared for a moment then dropping his eyes. "It'll all be over in a few weeks and that's that. I wonder if she'll smile-" Jensen cut himself off, letting the words hang there unfinished. He blinked down at his hands and shrugged. "Sorry. I shouldn't have watched. I'm fine though. It was stupid of me." Jensen shrugged, watching a tear drop on his hand.

"Can you stop lying to me? You're not fine and you know what? It doesn't surprise me and I don't know why you keep trying to pretend it's okay. I'm not going to do anything mean or crazy or... _God_... just let me be here. Can't you at least let me do that?" A small v appeared in the middle of Jared's forehead and he pressed his lips together tightly.

"There's nothing you _can_ do Jared. And I just feel worse when I see how upset you get over me being like this. But the time has come and gone and I just need to try and process this without making you feel guilty or whatever." Jensen frowned and shook his head. "I can imagine, pretty damn easily, what's going to happen to that little girl Jared and I keep trying to not care but I just don't work that way. I'm just trying, to keep myself together, for you and me alright?"

"You don't have to." Jared sat back on his heels. "That's the thing about being in love. We're supposed to hold on for each other when one of us isn't okay." Dropping his gaze, Jared took both of Jensen's hands in his. "I feel so helpless. I can usually make you feel better."

Jensen didn't know how to offer the help, how to give Jared advice on how to make himself better. There was no part of Jensen that blamed Jared for how he felt but in some sense he was responsible, just by not being ready. It was nothing Jensen could ever hold against him and by now it had shifted more to a fear Jensen had for this little girl. Sighing softly Jensen finally met Jared's eyes and shrugged. "It'll be over soon. I'll be better. You help just by being here."

"She'll be okay, Jensen. She's gonna..." Jared didn't even bother trying to pretend he knew what was going to happen to the baby. Jensen knew better than he did - and this baby wasn’t even pure. Jared only had Jensen's word on what that meant and he didn't doubt him. "I ... all I can think about is kissing you - trying to make you forget." Jared pressed Jensen's hands to his lips. He felt so lost.

When Jensen closed his eyes he could still see the chubby cheeks and he thought it might be nice to forget. "We should go away. Until it's all over." He whispered even though he knew there was no way they could logically leave for a month or however long until Stephanie's baby was born. Meeting Jared's eyes, Jensen frowned then grasped his shirt sleeve, pulling him close and wrapping his arms around him. "It'll all be okay. You'll see." He comforted Jared naturally, hand stroking up through his hair slowly.

"Okay. Yeah," Jared murmured. Leaning forward he rested his head on Jensen's leg. "I guess it will." He wasn't completely convinced that things were going to be okay for Stephanie and the baby. Him and Jensen? He knew they'd be okay one way or another.

Running his hand through Jared's hair, Jensen glanced toward the screen and back down. "You don't think Chad will do anything, about Stephanie right? I mean, once the baby's born?" Jensen shrugged, unsure if Jared knew anything different about the Chad situation. He'd watched Chad slowly detaching himself with Stephanie the further along she got, wondering if he was trying to stop any connection as well.

"No, I don't. He loves her, whether he says it out-loud or not. He doesn't even bother with the dates his mom sets up anymore." Jared curled his arms around Jensen's, palms pressing low on his husband's back. "He's at home with her, his home - _is_ with her." Jared sighed and rubbed his cheek against Jensen's thigh.

"Yeah. I think you're right." Jensen nodded and hummed softly. "Guess life will go back to normal. That will be a relief I'm sure, for everyone involved." Jensen knew he had to push the lingering thoughts aside, knowing he'd only do more damage, make Jared feel worse if he couldn't thinking this way. Though part of him wouldn't trade seeing the video for anything. "Are you hungry? I have fresh baked cookies in the kitchen."

Jared wasn't hungry at all. He tightened his hold on Jensen's middle. "Yeah, sure. Cookies would be nice."

"Are you okay?" Jensen asked quietly, knowing it was a stupid question but checking anyway.

"Yeah, m'fine. Just tired."

"Okay." Jensen nodded and pushed Jared back slightly, standing. "Maybe no cookie then. I'm going to read awhile before bed." He smiled briefly down at Jared before turning to pull the movie card from the player, pressing it into its case. He hesitated for a moment before turning and dropping it into the waste bin by the furniture set. "You sleeping now?"

"I guess so." Jared leaned on the chair Jensen had left and closed his eyes.

"Right. Well. Goodnight then." Jensen nodded and brushed his hand through Jared's hair before turning to head out of the living room. He was ready for this whole thing to be over, then he could stop feeling so horrible and stop hurting Jared and things wouldn't feel so heavy between them.

Leaning on the chair to get up off the floor, Jared headed over to the garbage can and pulled the video disk out and moved his thumb over it for a few minutes. Eventually he headed over to the drawer under the TV and slipped the movie inside. He had no idea why he wanted to keep it - except that it was important to Jensen.

Shuffling down the hallway Jared stopped at the Library door to see Jensen already in a chair with a book. His eyes looked a little distant though - as though they were focused far further away than the words on the page in front of him. "Jensen? Do you think you could come and read in bed with me? If it's okay?"

Looking up from the book - not even sure what it was - Jensen nodded and stood, putting a marker in place and crossing the room. Jared looked so nervous, or uncertain, like Jensen might completely lose it at any moment. Something twisted painfully in Jensen's chest and he hissed, unprepared by how _painful_ it would feel to know he made Jared feel like that at any point.

Months of this underlying sadness between them, Jensen trying so hard not to feel all these things, ridiculous and foolish for nearly _mourning_ the loss of a child he shouldn't care about.

"Jared," he breathed and dropped the book, stepping into his husband's body and pulling him in close so their lips could meet. He just wanted to feel his warmth, his closeness, _everything_ that he knew so well about the man he loved.

Jared's lashes fluttered closes and he moaned softly into the kiss, hands immediately moving to circle round Jensen's waist. He ached to just make things better, return things to the way they were before things changed. _Before_. It was tearing him apart to see Jensen so torn apart and Jared just couldn't take it anymore. Stepping forward quickly he deepened the kiss and slid a hand up to grip Jensen's hair.

Rocking forward slightly into his husband, Jensen's tongue snaked out to meet Jared's and he moaned into the warmth. He backed Jared out of the room, blindly guiding him across the hall to their bedroom. It wasn't as if they didn't enjoy these moments quite often - as much as they could with their schedule - but sometimes things were on a higher level between them. Jensen could tell this would be one of those moments where they pulled from each other, comfort and love. Jensen broke the kiss on a soft pant, pushing Jared's shirt up his chest and over his head, tugging him back in for another kiss.

"God, I love you," Jared murmured as his lips pulled back just slightly. Grasping Jensen's shirt he pulled back hard, tugging him the rest of the way into the bedroom. His hands fumbled with Jensen's belt, the button on his pants and he shoved his hand under the material of his husband's boxers. He didn't want slow and gentle, he wanted Jensen. Long fingers curled around Jensen's cock and Jared stroked as best he could under the material.

Jensen shoved at Jared's pants roughly, pulling the man first into him and back out so he could slide the button free and drag the zipper down. His hips snapped up into Jared's grip as he stroked, low groan rolling through his chest. "I need you." Jensen breathed into his mouth and shoved at Jared's pants, feeling them drop to the floor. "Now. I need you, right now." Jensen shuddered, pushing Jared back toward the bed, arm wrapping securely around him to keep Jared from stumbling over his clothing.

Kicking out of his pants and boxers, Jared let himself fall back onto the bed. Rolling over he crawled back to Jensen, kneeling up so he could shove his husband pants down off his hips. Before the material even hit the floor Jared's mouth was on the silky smooth skin just below Jensen's hipbone. Sucking hard, he felt blood drawing up into the skin - heat and warm, and felt his husband already half-hard cock brush against his cheek. Moaning, Jared moved his hands around to grip Jensen's ass, holding on as Jensen's struggled out of his clothes.

"Jared," Jensen moaned softly and tilted up into heat of his husband's mouth. His hands stroked down through Jared's hair, reminding himself of the soft silk, the way it slid so warm and pleasant beneath his fingers. "Love you." He added a moment later, just to make sure Jared knew, and then smiled softly when he realized of course he did. Another moan fell from his lips as Jared's fingers dug firmer into his ass, holding him as Jensen finally managed to get his feet out of his jeans and boxers.

Jared's mouth slipped closer to his husband's cock, closer, burying his nose in the musky scent of his body. The rough curls rasped against Jared's cheek and he shifted on his knees so he could drag his tongue up the length of Jensen's cock. Blinking up at Jensen through his bangs, Jared moaned, blew out a breath and sucked on the head of his husband's cock. The flavor of come burst into Jared's mouth, the heat of Jensen's flesh - moaning again, Jared tried to suck in air through his nose as he sank his mouth down over the length of the man's rigid flesh.

"Oh god," Jensen panted heavily, eyes fluttering as he rocked into Jared's mouth, heating flaring dangerously fast through his system. "Jared, _Jesus_ , so good." His hand curved along the back of Jared's head, holding him in place with a loose curve of fingers against his skull. He rocked his hips just barely forward and gasped, moaning louder when Jared's teeth just barely grazed along the skin. "I want- Jared." Jensen sucked in a quick breath and tried to focus on not slamming into Jared's mouth.

Humming quietly, tongue dragging along the flesh as he pulled off Jared gasped in a deep breath and kissed his way along Jensen's abs. "What you want? Anything..." he shivered because he meant it. He would do anything for Jensen. Restless hands moved over his husband's body, his ass, the small of his back.

Kneeling onto the bed, Jensen crawled forward so their hips met, hands slipping through Jared's hair, down his shoulders, along his arms. He moaned softly as their cocks brushed together with the gentle forward circle of his hips before leaning close, sucking Jared's earlobe between his teeth. "Want you to... fuck me." Jensen breathed against Jared's ear, reaching behind him to guide Jared's hand on his ass along the crack, spreading his legs wider to dip Jared's fingers down low on his body.

Jared's breath hitched in his chest, "wh..what?" They'd talked about it - but it had just never seemed to happen and now ... Jared swallowed hard and blinked a few times as he felt his heart beat race just a little faster.

Pulling back slightly, Jensen's head tilted to the side and he wet his lips, leaning in to capture Jared's mouth in a soft kiss. "Fuck me Jared," he murmured against his husband's lips, rocking slightly back into Jared's hand.

"Oh - okay." Jared felt like his body was going to collapse right there; just melt into the mattress, boneless and weak. The thought of taking Jensen that way sent a flare of heat racing through Jared's body. He moaned and pressed harder against his lover, their cocks slotting together side by side, the hot flesh rubbing and teasing. Extending his fingers, Jared curved them over Jensen's ass and dipped them into the cleft.

Moan like a hum in his chest, Jensen swayed forward, body seeking out the friction and grind of skin sliding together. "Jared," he whispered, almost a plea and leaned into him, system overloading on the heat of Jared's body that felt so much better than the way his heart had ached before. He knew just being with Jared could make him feel once more, and he clung to that.

A low rumbling sound bubbled up out of Jared's chest and he tightened his arms around his husband and twisted them so they fell onto the bed on their sides. His lips moved everywhere, Jensen's cheeks, his mouth, chin, the evening stubble on his jaw. The scent of his husband was strong and heady, the feel of his flesh intoxicating and the anticipation. Jared rolled onto his back and pulled Jensen with him, settled his lover over his hips. The weight of Jensen's body pressing him down - he loved that.

His arm flailed out to the side, reaching under the pillow for the lube. With shaking hands he opened it and covered his fingers with the cool liquid. Pulling Jensen further up his body he reached around and slid his fingers into the crack of his husband's ass, slick fluid letting his finger slide over the puckered flesh.

Jensen's hips were rolling slowly, his body inching higher until he was straddling Jared's ribs. It was perfect. Leaning up slightly Jared sucked along the ridge flesh of Jensen's cock as his finger pushed gently inside him.

"Jesus." Jensen groaned loudly and his body moved simultaneously forward and back, unsure which pressure to explore more. Jared's mouth was fiery heat as usual, his finger just the slightest stretch and discomfort but not enough for Jensen to protest. He wanted this, wanted Jared to claim him, wanted to be _fucked_ just so he knew how it felt. "Jared," Jensen gasped and fell slightly forward, thankfully finding purchase on the headboard to keep him from completely collapsing. If just one touch made him so weak, Jensen could hardly imagine what more would do.

Jared's hand moved slowly, his finger sliding in and out of his husband. Licking and sucking at Jensen's balls, Jared buried his face in his lover's flesh - in his scent. He could tell Jensen had given himself over to the pleasure, the touches; just by the way his husband was rocking and moaning. Another finger slid in beside his first and Jared twisted them, spreading them apart as he dragged his tongue along the bottom of Jensen's cock once more.

Sucking in a quick breath, Jensen held it as he adjusted to the pleasure sliding up his spine, eyes fluttering slowly open and close. "Jared," he moaned loudly and spread his legs even wider, pulling them up to give his husband more access, to stretch him wider. The heat of Jared's mouth was counteracting the slight burn of stretch and Jensen gasped, rocking back into the fingers. "More," he pleaded, ready to have Jared in him, taking him in a way he'd never felt before.

Jared hummed out a small, dark laugh. After all - he was so used to being the one who was begging and asking for more. He slid a third finger inside his husband quickly, sucking hard on the head of Jensen's cock at the same time. So many sensations.

The noises Jensen was making were positively sinful - Jared could listen to them all night. He thrust his fingers, stretching his husband and moaning at the way Jensen's hips snapped forward then back - and _God_ he just wanted him.

Sparks shot across his eyes and Jensen was not prepared for the feel of Jared's fingers sliding across his prostate. His body twitched away from Jared then sliding back down, hips rolling slowly.

"Oh. Jesus Jared," Jensen growled softly and reached out, fingers curling into his husband's hair, unintentionally holding him in place as his cock slid deeper into silky warm parted lips. "Need you. Please Jared, god." Jensen sank back down onto Jared's fingers, slipping out of his mouth, heaving in deep lungfuls to try and calm himself.

Jared stared up at Jensen's flushed face. His eyes were wild, cheeks flushed and his chest was rising and falling quickly; so _fucking_ hot Jared could hardly believe it. He let his free hand slide up Jensen's body, over his rippling abs, his chest and caught a nipple between his fingers. Pinching hard Jared scissored his fingers to stretched Jensen's ass wide - the heat of his husband's body sinking down onto him. "God, Jensen... you're amazing-" Jared's breath caught as Jensen moaned long and loud.

Moving quickly, Jared reached up and pushed Jensen's shoulder as he withdrew his fingers, flipping them and landing on top of his husband. Holding himself up off Jensen's body Jared leaned down slowly to ghost his lips across his husband's mouth. "Fuck, you're making me want you _so_ much." His rigid cock was aching, full and thick and he couldn't wait to be buried in Jensen - take him.

Jensen felt almost dizzy with the heat of pleasure flaring through him. "Please Jared, want-" Jensen groaned and pushed up into the kiss, thrusting his tongue forward into Jared's mouth and flicking firm and sure then falling back. He blinked bury eyed at the mattress around him hand snapping out to grab the abandoned bottle of lube and pull it close. He fumbled with the cap, quickly slicking his palm and curling it around Jared's cock between them, stroking from base to tip and back down. "Fuck me." He breathed against Jared's lips, squeezing softly and releasing.

" _OhGod_ ," Jared moaned. His lashes fluttered closed and he sucked in a deep breath trying to catch his breath for a few moments. Jensen could do this - just make Jared feel like the world was falling away and they were left their together wrapped up in a world of teasing flesh and searing kisses. Blinking his eyes open he stared down at Jensen for the briefest moment, smiled and then slid down his husband's body to kneel between his legs.

Pushing Jensen's legs back slightly, Jared settled between them and curled his long fingers around his cock to guide it home. Pressing the head of his rigid flesh against Jensen's entrance he kept his eyes focused on his husband's - watching for any sign that he was hurting. His hips pushed forward and the head of his cock sank into Jensen.

Shuddering - Jared moaned. He'd had _no_ idea what it would feel like, no idea how the heat and the pressure - the tight silky grip on his cock - would bring him so close to coming so quickly. " _Jesus Christ_ , Jensen."

The burn was there, fizzling across his veins, heart slamming into his chest as Jared's heat slowly split him apart. Jensen blinked up at Jared, not breathing for a long moment as he adjusted to the stretch. He sucked in a breath when he remembered the need for oxygen and exhaled in a moan, sinking back against his husband.

"Oh god. _God_. Jared." His hands lifted to curl around Jared's arms, tightening, sliding up. "More. Please more." He didn't feel bad begging; he wanted more, everything Jared had.

Inch by hot and amazing inch, Jared slid deeper into Jensen. He panted softly, breathing through the need to slam into the heat. Muscles quivering, Jared splayed his fingers wide of the back of Jensen's thighs and pushed them back further. Leaning up he slid in all the way, moaned then gasped as he tried to hold still. "God,” he breathed. He'd never fucked anyone - never felt this heart-wrenching sensation - _never_ seen Jensen spread out like this and begging for him to fuck him.

It took several long moments for the stretch to fully register through Jensen. His body was trembling under the intensity of being so full, so consumed. He suddenly understood Jared's addiction to this, why he begged and pleaded. Eventually his heart kicked back into rhythm and Jensen felt only pleasure and warmth coursing through him.

"Jared," he whispered, blinking up at Jared through lust clouded eyes. Reaching out, his fingers grazed across Jared's lips, half smiling then moaning as Jared's hips barely shifted against him. "M'good. Just, move? Please?" He breathed slowly, biting down on his lip a moment later.

The soft touch of Jensen's fingers brought Jared back to the moment. His eyes trailed lazily over Jensen's body and he pulled back - withdrawing almost completely - then slid forward quickly. "God-"

Jared's heart nearly stopped, thrusting into the slick heat of his husband he could barely breathe. His hips slid back automatically - his body taking over for him. His hips were rolling, thrusting slowly -working his cock in and out of his husband. "

Jensen," he half moaned. His husband was beautiful. A flush covered Jensen's entire body - a light sheen of sweat glistening on his skin - his eyes were almost black.

Every time Jared slid back Jensen felt the momentary loss then he was back again and Jensen found himself sliding back into the heat, savoring every inch of it. "God." He inhaled slow and steady, measuring the pulse of heat constantly thrumming up through him.

Jensen hooked his hand around Jared's neck, stroking through the locks slowly, lifting his legs to wrap around Jared's body and pull him in deeper. Another harder thrust brought Jared's cock brushing up against his prostate and Jensen groaned, sliding back to meet the tingling sensation, eyes finally falling closed as he lost himself in each thrust.

Jared's hips stuttered forward when Jensen writhed beneath him. His entire body felt wrapped up in Jensen and he could already feel the slightest tingle of his orgasm beginning deep inside. Growling softly Jared picked up his pace, slamming again and again into the spot that made Jensen's spine twist. He watched his husband's back arch up off the bed, watched the way his breath was so shallow. "Jensen, God-" Jared shuddered and gasped out a breath.

Curling his hand around Jensen's cock, Jared stroked in time with each of his thrusts barely able to keep his eyes off Jensen's face.

 _Beautiful_.

Jared bit down on his bottom lip as his hips snapped forward a few more times. The grasp of his orgasm was tight on him, too close to avoid and he slammed hard against Jensen's ass a handful of times and cried out. Balls pulled up tight against his body his hips shuddered and his cock pulsed as he came so hard his vision blurred completely.

Jensen was hardly aware of anything when he came just moments after his husband, thick and pulsing. It was all bright lights and quick inhales and Jensen could feel his shoulders shaking from the force of the release. "Jared." He moaned low in his throat, hips gently undulating through the final wisps of pleasure. "Oh god," Jensen sucked in a breath and held it, hand stroking through Jared's hair. "That was amazing."

Jared was trembling, sweat dripping from his forehead. Pulling out of Jensen slowly he fell to the side, crawling up the bed his hand curled around Jensen's neck bringing their mouths together hard. Thrusting his tongue forward his mouth moved roughly against Jensen's, his hand sliding down through the come splattered on his chest and stomach.

A lingering shudder shook through Jensen and he pressed up into Jared's lips and hand, fingers fluttering out to Jared's sides. Pulling back he gasped softly and buried his head into his husband's neck, breathing deeply. "That. Damn. That was, you liked that right? We'll do it again?" He licked a line up Jared's neck, pulling in the salty taste.

"God yes," Jared half laughed and rolled onto his back. "I - yeah." He gave up trying to talk and hooked his fingers through Jensen's.

"Mm yeah." Jensen nodded and cut his brain off before it could instantly slam back into the previous scene. "Our sex life just got much more... versatile." Jensen laughed quietly and snuggled into Jared, flinching a moment later when his arm slid through cooling come on his skin. "Might need a shower."

"Mhmmm," Jared grinned and rolled his head to the side to kiss the corner of Jensen's mouth. "Love you."

"Love you too." Jensen whispered and turned into the kiss, sliding his lips against Jared's with a happy hum. He felt better than he had in awhile, and decided not thinking about life was a much better way to go.

-=-=-=-

No matter how many times Jensen did the calculations, it just didn't seem to make sense to him. Or maybe his brain couldn't fathom the possibility that in a little less than nine months, Jared and he had made enough at the cafe to not only payback Jared's dad for the financing of the shop but also have a _profit_. It made him smile softly, giving Jensen some small amount of hope that their future really could be quite amazing. They could save up finances, and between Chad and Cody being able to cover shifts at the cafe, they might even be able to finally take a honeymoon. Jensen could imagine a wide variety places they could go, and it would take his mind off things too frequently present.

Jensen jumped when his phone rang. He had just spoken to Jared half an hour ago and knew the art show was in progress now. Normally he would have gone but with the baby being due any minute, Chad was kind of freaking out so Jensen had agreed that Jared should take him away for the weekend. So this wasn't Jared calling and Jensen sincerely hoped it wasn't the cafe because he kind of wanted the day to himself.

Looking at the caller ID, Jensen frowned when it said it was coming from the downstairs entrance. He couldn't think of anyone who'd want to come and visit him but he answered anyway. "Hello? Padalecki Residence."

"Jensen, it's Stephanie." She almost gasped into the phone, a choked sob and Jensen was already up.

"Steph? What is it? Is it the baby?" Jensen was already moving to the front hall so he could let her in or get his shoes, whatever was needed. Technically she had a week to go but Jensen had read enough to know it really could happen at any moment.

"No it's not... well, will you just let me in? Please?"

"Of course. Come on up." Jensen punched in the code and pulled the door open, peeking out into the hall and waiting. It took five minutes, likely because Stephanie was kind of waddling more than anything else, the baby dropped low and Jensen knew that meant she could be here at any moment. When she made it to the doorway he smiled softly and stepped forward, wrapping his arms around her and leaning into the hug.

"Jensen," she whispered and clung to his back until he pulled her in, knowing hugging a pregnant Companion in the hallway would really spark up some controversy. Not like he and Jared didn't already spark up a fair bit just being a male married couple.

"Come on, let's sit down, I'll get you some water." Jensen led her to the living room, satisfied that Stephanie wasn't going into labor or something that needed immediate attention.

The girl settled in on the couch and Jensen retrieved some water, taking a moment to compose himself before heading back into the living room. In the end, no matter how much Jensen had been avoiding Stephanie, she was still one of his closest friends and he'd never abandon her in her time of need. But seeing her like this, so very pregnant, with the baby moments away from coming, hit Jensen like a punch in his gut.

"Water?” He offered as he stepped back in the room, slowly dropping down on the couch beside her.

Stephanie half smiled at him as she took the water and sipped slowly from the glass. "I can't have too much. She's pretty much sitting right on my bladder."

Jensen laughed quietly and tried to keep his eyes on the girl's face. There was no logic to his absurd obsession with her pregnancy, minus the idea of a tiny little girl being sent off to be a lab rat for the rest of her life. "Are you very uncomfortable?"

"My feet hurt. My back hurts. I want to eat but then I take two bites and I'm full. And I have to go to the bathroom every five minutes." Stephanie looked up at him then slowly smiled. "Otherwise, no, not a lot of pain. Except all the times she decides to flip around. Ow. Like now."

Jensen's eyes widened as he watched her belly actually _move_. He could see the press of a hand against the fabric, like the little girl was just going to climb out. "Wow. She, I can see it. How does that even happen?"

With a small laugh, Stephanie shook her head, shrugging. "She's big? And I'm not so big? Do you... I mean, if you touch, and press, she'll press back."

Jensen's heart leaped in his chest, eyes fluttering for a moment before he reached forward uncertainly and laid his hand on Stephanie's belly. Glancing up to ensure it was okay, Jensen slowly pressed his hand down into the belly. Jensen almost gasped when, after a moment, the little girl pressed back. "Oh god. She... oh." Jensen sucked in a breath and pressed again. The little girl met the press and Jensen laughed. "Wow. That's amazing."

"She's really responsive. So active. Sometimes, at night, I play this little game. I press in one section and she'll press back, then I'll move to another section." Stephanie's voice caught in her throat and her eyes widened and pricked with tears.

Swallowing thickly, Jensen stared at her then softly rubbed along the belly, unsure about the touch but almost unable to pull his hand back. "Stephanie, what's going on?"

She was silent for awhile, staring down at Jensen's hand moving in gentle rhythmic circles. When she did speak, it was a rush. "I don't want her to go to Purity. I can't let her go to that place. You know what they'll do to her there and how could I possibly allow that? I was so foolish to think I could carry her as part of me for so long and then just, let her go without caring. It doesn't make sense. How can I do this? I'm going to give birth to this baby and she's always going to be part of me and the man I love. What sort of person will I be if I just, let her go?"

Jensen shifted on the couch and slid his arm around her shoulder, soothing the unsteady shake. "Oh Stephanie. It's okay. You'll be okay." He whispered softly, stroking a hand through her hair softly. "You're doing what you have to do, what Chad wants, no one can hold that against you."

"I can. And I will. The rest of my life I'll remember this." Stephanie sighed shakily and laid her head on Jensen's shoulder, free hand on her belly. "The thing is, I love this little girl, but I don't want to keep her. I can't. Not knowing how Chad feels. It would never be right. But... but you. You want to. You want to keep her and give her a home with love and laughter and all those things we didn't get to have and she won't otherwise."

Jensen's shoulders tensed and he slowly wet his lips, tiptoeing over careful territory and the pieces of his art trying to sort through the mess. "Stephanie, you know, I do. More than... well, more than you maybe realize. I would very much love that but, I can't. Jared doesn't want a baby right now, he's not ready, and I have to respect that. As much as it pains me to think of what will happen to her, I simply can't be okay with doing something that might damage him and I."

"I understand. I wouldn't want anything to damage you two either." Stephanie sighed quietly and pressed her hand into her belly. Jensen watched the ripple of movement in response and his heart clenched. "Then, can I ask another favor?"

"Of course." Jensen nodded, not sure he could comply with it but knowing he'd try.

"Let me stay here? Just, for a little while. I need to, figure something out. I can't give her to Purity. That's not an option any more. I just need to, figure something else out. Would that be okay?"

Technically, it wouldn't, but there was no part of Jensen that would be okay with turning Stephanie away right then. It was already kind of crazy that Chad left her alone at thirty nine weeks pregnant, so Jensen thought he could use that rational when the man arrived home the next day and totally freaked about Stephanie not being there. Until of course, she spoke next.

"And, don't tell Chad I'm here." Stephanie whispered the words, hands curling together on her lap."I know, I know it goes against everything I'm supposed to do, I just. He'd lose it if he knew I didn't want to give the baby to Purity. Please Jensen? For her sake?"

It wasn't really fair of Stephanie to pull that card on him. She already knew how much he cared for the little girl and any idea he had about saying no was totally wiped away. "Okay. But just, let me help you with this decision alright? We can find an alternative place for her to live together."

Stephanie nodded slowly and smiled at him, patting his hand softly. "Man. I have to use the bathroom."

Jensen couldn't help laughing at that, shaking his head as he stood to help her up.

-=-=-=-

There were quite a few adoption places that were off the grid online, but only two that would accept babies from Companion mothers, and only one close enough to logically get to. It would still be a three day drive and Jensen couldn't imagine how they'd get the baby out of the hospital without Purity being aware, so he was resigned to the fact that he'd have to bring Jared in on this. Which was why, the following day, he was pacing in the living room while he waited for his husband to return.

Jensen had fixed a bed for Stephanie in the library on the large couch they'd gotten a few months before. It wasn't the most comfortable thing for sleep but she insisted sleeping period wasn't comfortable by that point so it didn't matter much. She was resting there currently though Jensen suspected it was more likely she was hiding. Chad would have called the house at least once by now and knew she wasn't there; Jensen had sighed and ignored Jared's call earlier because he couldn't lie to the man to save his life. The last thing he wanted was Chad storming in and dragging Stephanie home.

He heard the door click and held his breath, waiting to see if Jared had come alone, relieved when he heard only one set of footfalls. Jared came around the corner into the living room and Jensen smiled softly. "Hey." He was almost bursting with the weight of information pressing in, allowing it to consume him and smother out the ache at the very idea that Stephanie had finally come to her senses about the Purity thing. He told himself he could be satisfied knowing the little girl was growing up in a good home somewhere.

Jared pushed his hair off his furrowed brow. "Jensen get your coat." Jared threw his bag against the wall and picked up the key for their car. "I just took a cab back from Chad's and Stephanie's missing. He checked the log for the apartment lock and she hasn't been in since yesterday. He'd - fuck he's frantic. I figured maybe you could help us go and find her."

"Wait." Jensen held out his hand and sighed, slowly shaking his head. "We don't have to go looking for her. She's here." He whispered the words, hanging his head slightly out of ingrained habit when it came to disappointing Jared in anyway.

"Thank God, Chad will be so relieved." Jared pulled his phone out and blew out a breath. "Seriously thought he was going to blow a gas-"

"Jared," Jensen stepped forward quickly, grabbing his hand before he could lift his phone. "Don't. Don't call him okay? Just, hold on for a minute. Please." He stared pleading up at his husband, eyes wide.

"Jensen, Chad's going crazy. You know how much he loves Steph - he even called the hospital because he worried that she was there." Jared eyes narrowed. "Is she okay? What's going on?"

Sighing softly, Jensen dropped his hand and rubbed along his arms, shrugging. "She doesn't want to give the baby to Purity. So, she came here, knowing I'd help her out." He looked up quickly and shook his head. "I told her we couldn't, you know, take her or anything. I'm just helping her look into options and she doesn't want Chad to know because he'll freak about the whole thing."

"What?" Jared looked toward the door then back at Jensen. "Wh- Jensen... Chad's going out of his fucking mind. I'm calling him. Do you remember when you were at Chad and Stephanie's and I was home freaking out who called me? Do you remember that?" Shaking his head Jared raised his phone. "I can't believe this."

"Please Jared, just wait a minute." Jensen sighed heavily and looked back down, bracing himself for the rest of this conversation. "If you call him, he'll come and take her back. Then she'll have the baby and they'll take her to Purity. She doesn't _want_ that Jared. Do you get that? What Stephanie wants is for the precious little girl inside her to grow up in a normal home with parents that will love and take care of her. She doesn't want her to be just another toy of the governments. She wants to give her what she and I never had."

Lowering his phone Jared took a few deep breaths. He couldn't believe this was happening. Chad was not only going to be royally pissed off at Stephanie he was probably going to try and beat the _shit_ out of Jensen. Jared set his phone carefully on the hall table and ran his hands through his hair.

"Jensen. I'm gonna give you about two minutes to explain this to me before I call Chad. Because right now? All I can think of is how I'm going to stop my best friend from kicking your _ass_ when he finds out that she's here and you didn't let us know."

Frowning slightly, Jensen ran his hand through his hair and sighed once more. "I did some searching online. I found a place a few days drive away, they'd set up adoptive parents and someone could take her in. I... Jared, you know how much I care for that little baby and if we can't have her, then, someone else should." Jensen's eyes were glistening with tears when he looked back up at his husband.

"She's so smart, already Jared. When I pressed down on Stephanie's belly she pressed back, and she'll move to other spots too. It's just, it's kind of incredible and this isn't a baby born from a test tube and a birth mother. This is a baby made out of love, she'll probably have Chad's stupid sense of humor and his asshole tendencies, and she'll have Stephanie's hair and her nose and her mouth. She's going to be kind and sweet and _amazing_ but not if she goes to Purity. Not if they take her."

"Jensen." Jared pressed the side of his fist to his mouth and drew in a deep breath through his nose. Dropping his hand he smiled sadly.

"Jensen, I _know_ why you're doing this. I really, _really_ do - but this baby - she's not ours and she's not Stephanie's. As wrong as you and I might think it is - that baby _and_ our friend Stephanie belong to Chad. Chad is the one who gets to make these decisions. We can't - _I_ can't keep this from my best friend. Chad and I trust each other - I trusted him to take care of _you_ , Jensen - when you were gone. Do you know that the only reason I slept while you were away was because I knew that I could trust Chad to keep you safe. And now. Now, you want me to betray that trust." Jared shook his head and paced across the room. His mind was whirling with thoughts.

Staring out the window Jared shook his head. "God, I can't. .. why? Why has she changed her mind? Why is she here?"

"She just wants to give the baby a chance." Jensen whispered and curled his fingers together, racking his mind for a way to make this work, to help Stephanie and not upset Jared. Upsetting Chad was inevitable, he'd be upset either way, but he'd forgive them. "We can take care of her, for just a little while. She's going to have the baby any day and it'll just be done. So she won't go to Purity, who cares? Chad won't. She'll be out of his hair and he'll have Stephanie and his normal life back in order. There's a chance for this little girl Jared, and I can't sit by and just, let the worst happen. I love her too much for that. Okay? So please, don't make me do something stupid and drastic."

Turning slowly Jared cocked an eyebrow. "What are you saying? What's next kidnapping? Jesus Christ, Jensen. You're committing a crime - you know that right? Hiding a companion who's run from her possessor?" Jared was starting to panic. He knew what his husband was like and he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt how much Jensen loved the baby.

"I'll do what I have to, if it means giving this little girl a chance." Jensen said tensely, meeting Jared's gaze to let him know how serious he was. Chad could have him arrested, fine, he'd gladly serve time in jail for the baby, even if it killed him to be away from Jared. "I don't-"

"Jensen." Stephanie's voice interrupted him and it was surprising enough to have him turn. She would _never_ do that if something wasn't wrong. Her hand was clutched to her belly and she leaned heavily against the door frame. "It's time Jensen."

"Oh shit." Jensen half groaned then shook his head, chasing away the rise of panic. "Jared, go get the car." He stepped quickly to Stephanie, helping her up against the wooden frame. "Now Jared. Please."

"It's time? What for like... the baby?" Jared blinked and looked at Stephanie then Jensen.

"Yes, the baby, the car, right now." Jensen met Jared's eyes once more, slightly pleading. He could be the level headed one here; he already knew he had to be. "Stephanie, how far apart are the contractions?"

"Not far." Stephanie groaned and held her belly, leaning heavily into him. "They started, a while ago. Just thought, you two were talking and, _Jesus_."

Jared nodded and raced toward the front door. "I'll be downstairs in two minutes."

"Okay Steph, let's get downstairs okay?" Jensen helped the girl toward the door, pausing by the front closet to pull on his shoes and help her into Jared's slippers. "We'll be at the hospital in no time. You're doing great." He smiled reassuringly at her, helping her into the hallway.

"Jensen?" Stephanie gasped and clutched his hand hard.

Jensen winced but allowed the pressure as they made it slowly into the elevator. "It's okay. It's going to be okay."

"Just. Call Chad. Someone call Chad. I need him." Stephanie whispered and relaxed against Jensen as the elevator started to descend.

Jensen stroked her hair softly and sighed, pressing a kiss into her already damp temple. "Okay. I'll have Jared call Chad when we get there."


	8. Chapter 8

"You can do it Stephanie, just one final inhale, hold it and push." The doctor chanted the same line he'd been using for the last half an hour and Jensen had the oddest urge to laugh at the look on Stephanie's face. It was certainly one of those _if looks could kill_ moments.

Jensen allowed his hand to be squeezed though it already felt like it was going to fall off. He looked toward the door, almost expecting Chad to burst through at any moment but if his husband had called him, there was no sign of the man. Part of Jensen didn't blame him, seeing Stephanie in this kind of pain would probably be too much.

"Come on Steph, just a little more." Jensen whispered encouragingly by her side and glanced down just in time to see the baby's head appear. It was all pretty surreal and well, frankly unpleasant to look at until the baby was suddenly just, _there_. For just a moment she was still, the doctor shifting her around easily, then her lips parted and she sucked in her first breath. Then she screamed. Jensen grinned brighter than he had in a really long time. "Oh she's beautiful Stephanie, just-"

"Oh god." Stephanie panted and slumped back on the bed, eyes fluttering.

"Did you want to cut the cord Jensen?" The doctor asked, smiling up at him as he offered the baby.

Jensen's heart leaped in his chest but he shook his head, looking away from the still crying little girl.

The doctor nodded and went about cutting the cord himself before handing the baby to a nurse who wiped her skin and carried her to the other side of the room. While they finished helping Stephanie, Jensen slowly walked around the bed and stood just to the side, watching the baby getting weighed - a respectable seven pounds and four ounces - then measured - ten and half inches. The nurse bundled her up expertly and turned to him, smiling brightly.

"She's beautiful. Would you like to hold her?" Once more the baby was offered out.

Jensen stared at the little girl and curled his fingers together. No name, no family, no real future in store but white walls and experimental drugs. Swallowing hard, Jensen shook his head and stepped back, tucking his arms across his chest. He wanted to, more than anything, he wanted to hold her close and soothe her still lingerering cries, he wanted to peek under the pink little hat over her head and see how much hair she had, or watch her open her eyes that he knew were blue. But she wasn't his and she never would be and Jensen couldn't take his heart breaking like that when he had to let her go.

"Stephanie, I'm going to go find Jared and Chad and let them know everything's okay, alright?" Jensen stepped by the bed once more, stroking her hair softly. "I'll be back soon."

"Okay." Stephanie nodded weakly and smiled up at him. "Jensen? Thank you. For being here."

"Of course." Jensen smiled in return and kissed her brow before turning to head to the door.

-=-=-=-

Jared had never felt quite so worried in his life. He knew that Stephanie was in good hands, not only because of the Doctor but also because his husband was in there taking care of her. He'd never seen such fierce determination on Jensen's face and when Jared wasn't worrying his heart was feeling like it was being ripped in two. Everything that Jensen said had made sense to Jared. The baby would have a terrible life at Purity, void of personal touch in her younger years and if she were _lucky_ she would become a companion - but it was unlikely.

Pacing up and down the hallway Jared ended up in front of the window to the room where all the incubators and cribs where. The babies were all bundled in blankets, some were crying - but they were all so tiny. Jared had no idea how something so small could survive without any touch - with so little care.

He leaned his forehead against the glass and stared at a little girl in the front row. The sad thing was - all these babies _had_ real homes to go to but not Stephanie's baby. That little girl that Jensen had grown to love would be taken away shortly by someone from Purity.

"Jared." Chad spotted the man moments after exiting the elevator and bee lined for him, drawing up short and scowling. "What the fucking _fuck_ man?"

Jared jumped and moved back a few steps. "Okay, before you lose your shit completely I can explain."

"You better fucking explain because there are _laws_ against this kind of thing and I've been out of my fucking _mind_ worrying about Stephanie. Where the hell is she? What the _hell_ was Jensen thinking?" Chad scowled, shooting a look toward a couple a little ways away who looked uncertainly at them.

"Okay. _Okay._ Just listen to me for a minute and I'll tell you. First of all - Stephanie came to our place. Jensen didn't go and get her or anything and ... and I told him that we had to call you and we were arguing about it when she came in the room and the baby. The baby was coming - and I just. I drove them here and I called you." Jared rubbed a hand over his face.

"Chad, she was so scared. She changed her mind about the baby - and I don't know anymore. I don't know what's right. I know you don't want the baby and that's absolutely your right to say that. But - Jensen's got a lot of good points - I mean, she could be someone's kid you know? A kid, with a room and toys and Aunts and Uncles." He sighed and glanced back at the room full of babies. "I was looking at the babies and-"

"I can't believe this is happening." Chad cut Jared off, shaking his head roughly and digging his hands up through his hair. "Where is she? I have to-"

"She's fine." Jensen stopped mid step, looking between his husband and half smiling. "She was a lot further along than we expected, they had to rush her in but everything's fine. She had the baby and they're both really doing well, no complications or anything. You can see her in a few minutes; they just have to... do doctor stuff." There was no use trying to explain the logistics to Chad, it would be a bit much for him to handle at this point.

"She had... damnit. _Damnit_. I was supposed to be there. I was supposed to hold her hand or what the fuck ever to make sure she was okay." Chad hissed and shook his head. "You fucking Padalecki's and your god damn charity cases."

Jared reached behind him and grabbed Jensen's hand, pulling his husband up to his side. "Chad, what about putting the baby up for adoption. Let her have a home." His fingers tightened on Jensen's hand. "I know you don't want her, and I get that. But - give her a chance. You know, Chad, that I wouldn't interfere in this unless I thought it was really important. I've listened to Jensen talk about how he was raised. It's not like it was for you and I, Chad."

Pride swelled up in him at Jared's words and Jensen smiled gratefully up at him before looking up at Chad. The man looked dubious, still slightly angry, and tense. "You can't even imagine the things they'll do to her Chad. She's just, she's a part of you. She's so tiny, well, kind of. Seven pounds, four ounces. Little chubby cheeks. She's beautiful and she could really just be amazing if she got the chance."

"Man you fucking -" Chad huffed loudly in annoyance, looking toward the window into the baby room then shaking his head. "No. I don't want some random people raising her. She'll be safe at Purity. No matter what you think, they'll look after her."

Jared sighed and looked at Jensen. His husband's eyes were wide and teary and Jared saw a resignation there that made his throat ache. Looking back over at Chad, Jared fought back the tears that were welling in his own eyes. "Give her to us," he murmured.

"What?" Jensen looked up in surprise, blinking at Jared. If it were possible his heart may have leaped up into his throat, mind spinning out of control.

"What?" Chad echoed, clearly equally surprised. "Dude, you don't even fucking want a kid."

"I do. Chad, I want her. I want Jensen to have her. I want us to be her family. I ... I don't want her to go through what Jensen did. It's been a long time since you and I talked about whether or not I wanted a kid. And you know - I always did want a family with Jensen - maybe not right away - but you know me, man. Come on. Give her a chance. Give _me_ a chance. You know I can be a good dad." Jared glanced at Jensen and smiled sadly before turning back to Chad. "Please."

Jensen was too floored to really say anything but Chad's less than eloquent, "Jesus Christ," seemed oddly fitting.

"Are you sure?" Jensen whispered up at his husband while Chad obviously took a moment to process this. His hand curled around Jared's jaw, making their eyes meet. "Jared, are you really, _really_ sure? This can't be undone. I don't want you to regret this."

"I won't." Jared shook his head. "I've been thinking about it all, Jensen. I just - I saw those babies and they all have homes." He smiled, wiping at his eyes. "We can do that. You can teach me things I don't know - and I can love her and crawl around on the floor like an idiot - and probably change a diaper with some instruction." Jared laughed weakly.

Jensen thought of all the things they'd need, all the preparations they'd have to make, but it didn't matter if Chad gave in to this because every part of him was tempted to race down the hall and scoop that little girl up into his arms and hold her close. "Chad?" He asked softly, looking over at the man with wide eyes.

"Okay." Chad whispered and looked almost pained at saying it. "But, she's just, she'll be _yours_ okay? Yeah one day she'll probably ask about it, and we'll cross that fucking bridge later or something but seriously, she'll just be yours. I, god. Is this what Stephanie wants? Will she be okay with this?"

"She already asked." Jensen said quickly, heart hammering hard in his chest, fingers tightening on Jared's arm. "She wants us to. God. Really? Really Chad?"

"Dude, fucking calm down, it's not like I just gave you a billion dollars or whatever." Chad muttered, clearly annoyed still but there was a hint of a smile on his face.

"It's kind of better than a billion dollars." Jensen laughed and half stepped forward, _almost_ hugging Chad then refraining to save himself from being punched. He glanced at the door to the back room, down at the wrist band that would let him through. Now that he _knew_ , he wanted to go there, hold the little girl. Their baby. His and Jared's.

"Wow. Really? Really." Jared reached out and grabbed the side of Chad's neck and squeezed. "Okay. Jesus. What do we do now?" Jared's laughed softly and stared down at Jensen.

"God, fucking homos." Chad huffed but it sounded too fond to really be offensive. And Jensen was kind of used to these types of statements. "I'm sure there's papers or something, shit to sign. First though, let's go see my girl because I'm really going crazy here."

Jensen laughed and grabbed both Jared and Chad, pulling them to the door. "Let's go see her, come on; I'm sure she's all settled."

Jensen used his wrist bracelet to scan them into the back doors, leading them through the maternity ward until they got to Stephanie's room. They hadn't moved her to a post delivery room yet so Jensen knocked softly before stepping in. Stephanie was dozing on the bed but Chad moved instantly to her. Jensen smiled and watched them for just a moment before turning to the small cart where the bundled baby was swaddled tightly, sleeping.

Standing there, Jensen couldn't even manage to reach out and grasp her like he so badly wanted too. He almost didn't believe it, wouldn't let himself believe. "Jesus," he whispered softly and just stared, reaching out once and withdrawing.

Jared smiled and slid his arm over Jensen's shoulder. "I think you should pick her up so we can say hi." He pressed his lips to Jensen's temple and laughed softly. When Jensen blinked up at him Jared nodded.

"What's going on?" Stephanie asked quietly, loud enough though for Jensen to hear.

"Well," Chad sighed and shook his head, sweeping his hand through Stephanie's hair. "I guess, Jared and Jensen are going to adopt the baby. You know, so she can have a family and whatever."

A grin split Jensen's lips and he laughed in surprise, slowly shaking his head. This was all so surreal, so many months telling himself it wasn't going to happen and here it _was_. Stephanie and Chad continued to murmur to each other but Jensen toned it out, finally reaching out the rest of the way to slip his hand beneath the little girl's head and under her bottom, pulling her slowly up.

She was warm and lightweight, easy to hold, fitting perfectly in the crook of his arm. Jensen pulled in a breath and tears pricked along his eyes. "Jared," he whispered, looking up at him with wide eyes. "She's so beautiful." He laughed softly, looking back down when the baby's head tilted slightly and turned to him, nuzzling softly as if she recognized his voice. Some part of Jensen wanted to believe that she did.

Jared smiled and reached down to brush the back of his finger across the baby's cheek. "She's beautiful, Jensen." Turning his face into Jensen's hair he kissed him and murmured, "beautiful." The baby was so tiny and Jared couldn't stop staring at her; tiny little nose, lips, small fingers. "Jensen? What was that name you picked out?"

"I hadn't really, I mean, I stopped thinking about it." Jensen breathed and held her just a little closer, trying to tell her just by touch how much he already loved her. Thinking back, Jensen didn't have to try too hard about the names he'd once had in mind. "Keira," he murmured and brought her up, pressing a small kiss to her cheek. Looking back up at Jared he smiled. "Do you like Keira?"

"I think Keira suits her." Jared grinned and tightened his arms around Jensen. Turning them he released his hold and walked them over to the bed. He shrugged when Chad looked over at him. "She's gorgeous. Just like her Dads."

"What the fuck ever man." Chad groaned and shook his head.

"Hey now," Jensen turned to him, smile still in place. "Watch your language Murray, there are baby ears here."

Chad's eyebrows lifted and he snorted. "Oh I can just tell you're going to be a real blast to be around now."

"Chad," Stephanie murmured and weakly patted his chest, shaking her head. "Jensen? Can I see her?"

Jensen nodded quickly and stepped close, shifting into the space at her bedside and sitting along the edge. "Do you want to hold her?"

"No, that's okay. Just wanted to see." Stephanie sighed softly and touched the edge of the blanket, small smile on her face. "I like Keira. That's a gorgeous name."

"Keira Padalecki." Jensen grinned and looked up at his husband. "Jared? Want to hold her?"

"Yeah. I do." Jared nodded and slipped his hands under Jensen's, watching how Jensen was holding her. Once she was in his arms he held her close and stared down into her tiny blue eyes. _Beautiful_. "She really is gorgeous, Stephanie. Thank you." Jared looked up at Chad, eyes glassy. "Thank you, Chad."

"Yeah, see if you thank me after all the sleepless nights you've got coming your way." Chad snorted, shaking his head. "I should go see about the paperwork required."

When he'd left the room, Jensen reached out for Stephanie's hand and squeezed softly. "We're going to give her the best home. I promise."

"I know you will. I couldn't think of two better people to raise her." Stephanie smiled warmly at him before settling back on the bed.

Jensen slowly stood and wrapped his arm around Jared's middle, leaning into his husband and pressing his lips against his shoulder. "This is amazing," he whispered, reaching out to caress Keira's cheek. His eyes lifted to Jared's and his grin grew wider. "Your mother is going to completely lose it."

Jared laughed softly. "Yeah. _God_." His eyes widened and he looked over at Jensen. "Let's not call her till tomorrow." Jared wasn't quite sure he was ready for his mother to swoop in and start organizing them.

"Let's not call her until we can bring Keira home." Jensen added and leaned a little more firm against Jared, arm lifting to slide beside Jared's under the baby. "So it's official and everything." Jensen still needed to reassure himself that this was real, that she was _theirs_. His heart was swelling happily as he watched Keira's eyes flutter open and peer up at Jared then close once more.

"I love you." Jensen whispered, free hand sliding softly along the back of Jared's neck. Seeing him hold the baby, it made every part of him feel warm and pleasant and Jensen wanted to soak it all in.

Jared glanced at Jensen again and grinned. "Can't we take her home tonight? We gotta wait?" Jared was already thinking about all the things he could show Keira.

Laughing quietly, Jensen shook his head and massaged Jared's neck. "She'll have to stay overnight at least. They'll want twenty four hours of checking her vitals to make sure she's okay. Plus, we have a _lot_ of shopping to do." Jensen slowly grinned at the idea of buying little baby clothes in pinks and purples, a crib, diapers, probably a million other things. "We have our work cut out for us."

"Not changing your mind are ya?" Jared knew his husband wasn't changing his mind. He was pretty sure there was nothing Jensen would rather do than make a home for Keira.

Shaking his head, Jensen grinned fondly at his husband and shifted forward to gently scoop the baby from his arms. He turned slightly, resting his back against Jared and smiling at the arms that looped naturally around him. "No. I can't imagine anything better."


End file.
